Advice for 18yo just starting to ride

[AliasGrace47]

I hope it's ok to post here. I've loved horses since I was a toddler, but my mother, due to bad life experiences(to do w people, not horses), was always too worried to let me ride, so all I could do was read about them.
However, now I'm 18 at a uni w stables, she's agreed to pay for some lessons next term when I've settled in, although she still has concerns.
I don't want to compete or anything, or even ride very fast, at least not atm, I'd just like to be able to go out hacking slowly on a calm horses. However, if it goes well, I kind of do want to push myself a bit. My experience of riding is zero (apart from a farm visit when I was allowed to ride a placid Shire horse being led by someone, which I loved). I do have some basic behavioural knowledge, & I'll do plenty of reading up on horses in the holidays.
I was wondering if anyone here might be able to give any pointers for safety? I know most people ride horses & are fine, it's just that I feel a guilty for worrying her & she's made me worry a bit too.
I suppose choosing a placid horse, keeping alert to body language whether you're on the horse or not, and knowing how to calm a horse if they get agitated for whatever reason, are key.. Ofc stables will offer lots of help & want to keep people safe.
I know horses can get scared by stuff like bags blowing around, say- are they very hard to calm if this happens? & if a horse is angry, you can normally tell from their body language? How can you mitigate the risk of being thrown? (I know the gear would help protect you).
Replies much appreciated!

The main thing will be to go to a bhs registered riding school. Their horses will be very used to beginners, and so will the instructors. As a novice you won't be able to do anything to calm a spooking horse, so your starting point is a dope on a rope type horse who has been there done that. But honestly, just contact the riding school. And make sure you've got your own well fitting hat that you replace if you fall off and bash it. Good luck and enjoy!

Definitely echo the comment above: choose a BHS approved centre. Preferably one that offers BHS training as well as ridden lessons as they will offer stable management lessons as well as riding.
Horses for beginners will be very calm so it is unlikely you would need to calm a horse at this level.
However all horses react and respond to body language so common sense is: slow movements around them, approach from the front + side (never from behind), don't run or shout around them.
For your first few lessons I would expect the horse to be brought to you so you don't have to really worry about what to do/not do.
Once you are sure you will stick it then invest in a correctly fitted hat and body protector.
Finally, you never stop learning and it can be 1 step forwards and 2 steps back. Even Olympic riders still have lessons so don't ever feel that lessons are only for beginners, they aren't. The more you learn about horses the more you realise how little you know!
Enjoy, horses are amazing creatures and we should be honoured that they tolerate us! Never forget that privilege

At this stage a good school is all you need. They should go an at appropriate pace for you, and you’ll get better at reading certain situations the more you do.

Off a horse the best thing I can recommend for stick-ability and improvement is core strength and general fitness.

Can only echo what everyone else has said, the most important thing is to choose your riding school carefully and then do as they say really, listen to them, wear the safety gear they recommend and follow instructions carefully and you'll be grand. Beginner level riding in a riding school is incredibly safe and riding school horses are amazing animals, so calm and unflappable, there's very little you can do wrong to upset or annoy them. For instance the school I keep my horse at does special lessons for kids with learning disabilities (RDA type thing) and one of the little lads today had a terrible meltdown while riding, doing all the things you're absolutely not meant to do around horses, screaming, flapping his arms, throwing his hat off the side (hasten to add obviously not the boys fault at all, he couldn't help himself) and the pony was an absolute saint, just came to a halt in the middle and stood perfectly still til the little boy's carers could come and get him down. The other horses and ponies in the arena had a look at what was going on but none of them so much as twitched or snorted. That's the type of animal you'll start off on so don't worry about inadvertently terrifying them (although please don't test that by opening an umbrella in their face or similar stunt).

All that being said horses and riding are IMO absolutely brilliant for people with anxiety or just generally to teach anxiety management skills, because they're very good at getting you to lead by example and demonstrate calmness so they respond with calmness. To ride a more high powered or nervy horse (which as above, you won't have to at first, or ever if you don't want to) you need to stay totally calm yourself even if something slightly worrying is happening, be able to control your breathing, relax your muscles, speak to your horse in a quiet, gentle tone of voice, pat/stroke his neck and calmly carry on with what you were doing. I've always been notable in life (at work, with family/friends etc) for being extremely calm in a crisis and I put that down to horsemanship skills (not that I would ever treat a panicking co-worker like my horse spooking at a lawnmower, oh no 😜) aka years and years of practice with horses! It comes down to experience really and learning from the example of those around you.

Enjoy your lessons - don’t focus on all the ‘what ifs’. As everyone else has said as a beginner at a reputable school you’ll be put on the safest horse imaginable. Remember to breathe and try to be in the moment. I’ve had a truly terrible year but riding my share horse has been one of the things that has helped me get through.

Thank you for all the kind replies, they've reassured me a lot. 😊 The lessons will be at my uni stables, the uni in general has good rep, but I'll check about the stables.
That's lovely the horse was so calm w the boy, maxelly. I think I'm quite good at staying calm (it's my mum who's the anxious one, but this can transfer) & want to do a high stress job (criminal law) so this should be good training. That might reassure my mum it's useful!

twisty, I certainly won't forget. I'd love to learn long-term & do stables management.
lastqueen, I do need to improve my core strength. I cycle on my home exercise bike for 1 hour, & I want to take up swimming again (I stopped over A levels) & start a martial art, which should help.
I'm sure I'll stick w it, I thought I'd never get the chance & I've wanted to ride for years! Just being around horses will be really nice. I think I'll probs stick to calm ones & no jumping/galloping, but I'll see how it goes.
I do tell my mum that most people who have accidents on horses are riding to an advanced level/on a nervy horse. It's partly bc she doesn't know about riding. I'll point out that the riding school will have v safe horses for beginners, as pps said, & you can go at your own pace. After all, she hasn't skived but let me go on a school ski trip which said they welcomed novices but expected me to ski down the mountain after 1 day on the flat! (Neither of us knew this would happen). A nice calm pony is far safer than that!

Good luck OP, I hope it goes well for you. If you can afford your own hat before you go, then get one. Or ask for one for Xmas

Enjoy! I'm envious of you beginning your horse journey - it's a privilege.

Thank you, I'll def get a hat. Feel very lucky!

Go to a good school. They will match you to a quiet horse. Wear a very good helmet and get it fitted. It's safer than a borrowed one. If jumping, wear a body protector. Wear boots that aren't too wide so they can't get wedged in a stirrup and with decent ankle support. Tall boots give better grip. Sticky riding tights will make rising trot much much easier.

My advice as another adult beginner is not to go in expecting to never fall. You WILL fall at least a few times when learning and probably will come to no harm whatsoever but there is of course a possibility with any sport that you may be hurt.

They will spook. They are epic wusses. They spook if a leaf looks at them funny. But it's usually over quickly when they realise the tinsel they walk past a million times a day actually won't eat them. You won't always fall and they won't put you on a bolter.

I've stacked it twice. Both times off the quietest most reliable horse in the school. Once because another horse knocked a pole down behind him and he jumped and spun (he was a bloody showjumper ffs! Don't tell me he's never heard a pole fall before!) And once when he spooked at the canter because a deer ran across the field.

They spook differently too. The one I fell off tends to drop his shoulder and shies sideways so he just sort of disappears from under you. I got a lot better at staying on him by riding him bareback. Phenomenal for giving you a good seat. But his spooks can be hard to sit. He is over it quickly and you invariably find him stood next to you looking a bit embarrassed.

The one I ride most now just sort of flinches, gets his bum under him and scoots which still makes your heart go but he does at least take you with him. If you do fall, he generally stops and waits. Most school horses will. They don't generally teach beginners on horses that are prone to panicking.

If they do spook, tighten your reins up, sit up, push your heels down and relax your bum. They can feel your every move and will follow your lead. If you clench up and go tense, they start looking for the reason. You relax, they relax. They won't go far, likely just flinch andbits over. It feels bigger to you than it actually is.

Resist the urge to lean forward. You are most stable when sitting tall with shoulders back, leaning forward throws off your centre of gravity.

Give reassurance and praise. Regular pats, good boy etc. Sing quietly if you're nervous or talk softly to them. I tell them about my most unreasonable customers.

Ears pinned back flat means back off. Stop what you are doing or I will bite/kick you, I don't like it.

Pick a school who teach horsemanship as well. So tacking up and untacking your own horse and grooming them yourself. The more you handle them on the ground the more you will grow in confidence and the more they will respect you.

Where I go, you can hang out and help before and after lessons so I usually catch them, groom them and tack up before my lesson then if I'm last, put their rug on and tuck them up for the night. It's good for bonding with them. My first horse there follows me around like a dog. He loves attention and runs to greet his riders who spend time with him.

I doubt a quiet riding school horse will spook in the school tbh.

Balloon, thank you, that's v helpful. Epic wusses 😄. It's funny for such imposing animals!
Bareback riding sounds cool, I'd like to work at that, I'll def do horsemanship too.
That's lovely you've bonded w your horse. I'd love to bond w one.
I know re ears pinned back, I know a little bit I body language but not v much. This is probs a dumb question : bc horses are herd animals, do they feel safer if you ride w other horses? When I get good enough, I was hoping to go riding in London w a friend. I don't think I'd feel comfortable riding alone, at least not for a long time.

Yes, they get confidence from other horses on a hack. But they will also copy the others if they start to muck about. Again though, any horses that are hacking through London parks will be pretty solid.
Bareback riding is good once you are very experienced. It's incredibly hard on the horse's back before this point.

Yes much better with others but it does mean if one spooks so does the other. They don't even have to know what they're scared of.

Bareback is really fun but you need your rising and sitting trot down first or you'll be really unbalanced which is hard on them physically. Not to mention your ability to birth children 😂 they'll probably get you doing no stirrups first to get your balance. Your inner thighs and stomach muscles will ache like crazy.

You are unlikely to be out riding with friends for a few months at least, you'll be kept in the school until you're confident enough to handle your horse on the roads or in traffic and even then an instructor will probably be with you.

Yes, that will be for when I get fairly good. I think the horses my friend rides are pretty reliable, so it's a nice thing to work towards.
Not looking forward to the aching muscles.. I'm going to work on core strength to hopefully mitigate it.

If you kneel on the floor with your knees far apart then practice repeatedly rising up on your knees and slowly back down again that will help the muscles you need for rising trot. It's a sort of hip hinge action. Don't push off with your lower legs. Use your thigh and stomach muscles. Most people find it hard at first because those muscles don't usually get worked unless you are a regular gym goer.

Stretch your inner thigh muscles well before each ride will help too.

Thanks, I feel exhausted w work atm but I'd like to prep a bit. If I can ask 1 more, would you say it takes maybe a year or so to start to feel secure on your horse, assuming it's a calm one?

I think it depends what you mean by secure. If you mean safe, not in danger, not likely to fall and hurt yourself, you should pretty much feel that way all or most of the time right from the start, unless you're unusually nervous or wobbly. But how much you are able to do with your horse whilst still feeling that way is the variable.

If you're happy walking slowly around an arena on a lead rein you could probably do that forever and feel perfectly secure. If you're wanting to go cantering over open fields or jumping, a year is perhaps a more realistic timeframe, although some people will be quicker and some slower, and it will depend on how often you ride, the more the better in terms of building strength and confidence. I would think of it as more of an incremental process of getting more and more secure rather than that one day you won't be secure and then suddenly you will be. A good teacher will know how far to push you and will never put you in a position of danger (although if you do want to progress you will have to accept a certain risk of falls, most horse riders do occasionally fall off).

As above - there's no reason you'll feel like you'll fall off, even in your first lesson. But it depends how much you want to push yourself. I feel confident and secure each time I ride, but because I push myself there are moments each ride which are more challenging or where I think I could have done something better or got a better stride or helped the horse out more. So there's always things to work on if that makes sense.

You should feel pretty secure walking after a couple of lessons. Trotting I'd say I felt secure after about 4 or 5 lessons. Cantering, year that takes a little longer to feel totally safe as it does feel pretty fast. But I've never actually fallen except when he spooked. Never when just riding normally.

Do a bit of no stirrups riding. Does wonders for developing a secure seat.

Don't forget they are prey animals, though- in the wild, their survival depends on reacting to danger. They can't wait around to find out it's a harmless pheasant in the hedge, not a tiger. BTW most horses do prefer hacking out together- rather than alone, hacking alone is actually arguably quite an advanced thing for both horse and rider! So, not a stupid question at all. Personally I'd rather hack out almost anywhere in the UK than London, though! I'd probably look at a UK break with a stables nearby where you could go for a ride, although I appreciate this is expensive for a student!

Over time you will develop bonds with horses you ride and interact with regularly- I'd argue it's impossible not to! And they do get to know you, even if they interact with lots of others too. Horses have incredibly good memories for people- mine recognises the sound of my voice even when he can't see me, and he knows the other people on the yard who regularly interact with him too!

In terms of feeling secure, the thing is, you'll start feeling secure in walk and trot, then want to canter, then start feeling secure in canter and want to jump, and then start jumping bigger, scarier things, and hacking out and cantering at a faster pace... I reckon in a year you'll look back and be amazed at how far you've come!

BTW, at a riding school, it's very likely horses will come with an attached neckstrap or breastplate which you can grab onto for a bit of extra security! You can also grab a chunk of mane, as well. I'm not sure how much this really helps you stay on, but it does help stop you yanking the horse in the mouth, and it helps me stay calmer riding into a scary jump!

Thought of you today OP as I was having a lesson and the horse was very tense passing the bushes. Took my own advice and sang to him. But I couldn't think of a song so ended up with a few renditions of I'm a little teapot.

Have you started your lessons yet?