Adult new or returning riders part 2

[theferry]

I thought I’d start a new thread seeing as the existing one is full.

I’m due to ride tomorrow. Maybe I’ll jump. I’ll see.

Hi all, what a lovely thread.
I'm new to riding, would have loved to do it as a child but our family circumstances were not good so just not possible -I asked Father Christmas for a pony every year and was always disappointed.
Started lessons Feb 2023 when I was 44 and am struggling with my confidence at the moment tbh and really close to giving up as I just think I'm shit which upsets me greatly but it is what it is.
I felt great at the start of spring this year and really happy with my instructor but then she was offered the opportunity of a lifetime in Ireland so obviously left, the instructor after her just seemed to criticise so that coupled with a couple of lessons on the wrong horse really Knocked my confidence so I had a few weeks off then switched riding schools.
Since I've gone back I really feel like I'm moving backwards rather than progressing and hit a real low on Saturday when I couldn't get the horse I was riding to go into canter on our hack 😟
I've got a lesson booked for next Monday which I'm going to attempt with an open mind but I think I'm going to give it until Christmas and see how I feel.
If I do give it up I'll be heartbroken but think I'll perhaps try and volunteer at a local horse charity so at least I'll still get to spend time with these lovely creatures.

Welcome to the thread @FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren ! A lot of us on here have struggled with confidence at times - I suspect quite a lot of this is menopause/peri-menopause-related - it does seem to be a general confidence hoover..

While I know that if I were a better rider I’d be able to get any horse going well, the fact is I’m older, less gung ho and doing this purely for enjoyment and general mental wellbeing so the horse I’m riding and the instructor I have make a huge difference to how well I can ride. A few weeks ago I could barely get Mr Reliable cob at the riding school into canter and my foot kept slipping through the stirrup - it was very frustrating but we worked out that I’d been in meetings all morning and I’d seized up a bit through too much sitting 😳 - the next lesson I was fine, my lower leg stayed still and canter was flying - progress isn’t linear - you think you’ve nailed one aspect and something else comes unstuck.

My rather sad update is that I’m going to stop my share - he’s been diagnosed with kissing spines and has had temporary painkilling injections. They were supposed to give time to build up his top line but he’s not had any kind of structured rehab and at his age and having been ridden hollow with his head in the air for several years I can’t see that a few weeks is going to make any difference. He’s been getting grumpier and grumpier and I think he’s telling us very clearly that he’s not happy but his owner doesn’t think there’s anything wrong.

That’s a shame about your share @Pleasedontdothat . @FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren perhaps look for a different instructor i do think it makes a massive difference if you have a good rapport and it needs to be fun .

Pleasedontdothat and Floralnomad
Thank you both for your responses. The instructor for my next lesson is the lady I hack out with on occasion and I'm hoping she's the right fit for me so we shall see. I also think the horse is vital-at my old school prior to this one I rode a beautiful Clydesdale who I truly believe was my ❤️ horse, we rode really well together and I've just not had that gel on any horse since. I really miss him 😟
Pleasedontdothat, I'm sorry about your loan.

@Pleasedontdothat sorry about your share horse that is a real shame, its sad to hear the owner isn't taking it seriously.
@FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren Instructor really makes a difference, I lost a lot of confidence when an instructor I really loved left and i just didn't gel with the replacement. It has taken me quite a bit of time with a new one to gain that back. It did teach me to stand up for myself though in terms of asking for different horses, stating when something wasn't clear and asking for clear goals and how we planned to reach them. So although I didn't enjoy riding in those 6 months I am in hindsight glad I persevered.

The mare I loan was lame today so I had a spin on a new horse I have never ridden for my lesson. A lovely gelding, he is only 6 so very green but I really enjoyed it and I am finally starting to get the feeling that I can hop on any horse and ride it again.

@Pleasedontdothat sad news about your share, my favourite horse was limping today and it's very sad especially when you don't have any say.

@FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren hello, welcome to the stables. I could have written your post several times over during the past year and a half, had a difficult lesson last week (trotting no stirrups) which made me feel like I was going nowhere then last night, different horse, doing transitions and actually felt I was sitting better thanks to the nightmare of the week before. I think each time what am I doing then have a good lesson and it's fine again.

My weekly slot is 6.00-7.30 which with the change of the clocks has become pretty dismal, plus horses are starting to get a bit arsey as it gets cooler. It is quite exciting walking them in the dark through the trees at my stables as they are all spooky.

I'm hoping to get through the winter months with a little progress and not fall off on our next jumping lesson

<creeps nervously onto thread>

I’m a returning rider…and I pick my very first horse up tomorrow!

I’m not going to sleep tonight.

Ooo I'm excited for you! Come back and tell us all how it goes. I dream of that day !

Should probably introduce myself. I'm not a new rider but a hopeful returner. I really miss it. I shall live vicariously through you all till my time comes 😂

How exciting! What have you got?

I just climbed into bed exhausted after the most exciting, wet, muddy day!

But my new baby, a 14.1 eating machine of a piebald cob mare called Clover, is now safely installed in a warm, dry stable and all is well with her world. She has food.

She looks gorgeous @LunaNorth ! I do love a cob. More photos any time you like :)

In great news my very good boy is well on his way to be all healed up from his nasty hoof abscesses and is ready to go back into light work (he says, very light indeed, thanks all the same!)

Can I join too? I’m a long time horse rider, but only got my own horse two weeks ago and I’m so enjoying having my very own horse, even though he’s still in isolation at the yard and I’ve not ridden him yet.

I rode for about 4 years as a child, and started again in my late 20s. Now, aged 51, I’ve finally achieved a childhood dream and I still can’t believe it. This is my handsome chap today, all 17hh-ish of him.

He looks like a lovely chap @HelinaHandbasket . Isn’t it fun, fulfilling lifelong dreams :)

It’s wonderful! Even in yesterday’s terrible weather, I’ve been so enjoying spending time with him. He’s remarkably tolerant of all the attention he’s getting from me.

I still haven’t ridden her yet - work and the weather, and damn these early dark evenings.

But I’m enjoying the lovely bonding time we’re having, when I brush her and she eats…and eats…

She’s beautiful @LunaNorth My boy was in isolation at our yard for two weeks, and it was great spending the time just grooming him and getting to know him. I’m seeing him today for the first time since he’s been out of isolation and I can’t wait.

We’ve hit a few snags.

I had my first lesson with Clover on Sunday, and she freaked out when I mounted, and would have thrown me off if I hadn’t dismounted quickly.

On the advice of my instructor, I’ve been doing groundwork with her in hand, to help develop the relationship. We spent a lovely hour and a half yesterday, and she was lovely and relaxed and biddable.

Today wasn’t so good. I went to the stable early, to spend some time grooming her. We did a little ground work. But then, on the way to turn out, she reared up while in hand. It was terrifying, and I’m left wondering if I’ve bought a horse I can’t control.

Does anyone have any experience of this? Help!

@LunaNorth did you have her vetted? Do you know anything about her history? If you’re in touch with her previous owners it might be worth seeing if there’s a particular way she’s used to being mounted etc It is very early days and she’s having to get used to a new place, new routine and new people so not that surprising she’s taking a while to settle. However, it’s important for you both that she knows not to get into your personal space - it’s better to be very firm to start with and then you can relax a bit as you go on but make sure she doesn’t start thinking she can push you around. When my daughter got a feisty new horse a few years ago I booked 2-3 lessons a week for them so they got off to a good start and we could iron out any niggles before they became entrenched behaviours. Get as much help as you possibly can right now - maybe get a good freelancer to school her for a few weeks - investing in her education now could make all the difference later on.

Thanks for replying - yes, she had a five-stage vetting, after which the vet said she had a lovely, placid personality. To be fair, that’s what I’ve seen up to now.

I’ve spoken to my instructor, who seems to think it’s probably excitement. Clover’s very food-oriented, and she basically spotted her buffet and wanted to get to it asap. We’re concentrating on building the relationship and letting her know she can trust me to be in charge.

Didn’t half scare me though.

Meet Timmy 😊

I like the look of Timmy, my kind of man. I had a lovely ride on Monday but bad weather and other commitments means I haven’t ridden since. I am looking forward to the days getting longer in January.

Timmy looks lovely @Pleasedontdothat

I am jumping on this thread as a returning rider. Went back a few months ago. Not done any jumping yet-the lessons just haven't' included it. Been on plenty of hacks too with canters.

I am pretty confident, I more so want to improve my technique! I just seem to feel like I am not the best rider.

Timmy looks lovely ☺️

I’ve barely ridden these last few months and I haven’t missed it. The nerves have just got too much for me. I might be back in the new year. I’ll see.