Sharing and holidays/sickness etc

[Mchorseface]

Thinking of finding a sharer. What do people do/expect around when sharers are ill or on holiday? For me it would mean having to buy in extra support, possibly at short notice (including exercising) so trying to work out what would be fair on their days. I don't mind covering a bit but want to be clear about expectations, so no nasty surprises either side. TiA 😊

With my sharer I just ask that they give me as much notice as they can, on the one or two occasions she’s been unwell she will come up and give her a cuddle and a groom and not ride which I’m fine with. They adore each other it’s very sweet.
She is generally super reliable though I’d bin off someone who was saying they couldn’t come at the last minute on a regular basis

The owner has covered in these circumstances, but my daughter does the same for her so it evens out.

Thanks both, looking at someone who will be away several times a year. Covering for me (or making up another time) may be an option. Or to charge over a certain amount of missed rides, as they would normally be paying for lessons in that time, possibly. Or find an occasional sharer happy to fill in!

Well it’s your horse so ultimately your responsibility to make sure the horse is cared for and exercised. Are you charging a set fee per day? Or do you mainly want a sharer because otherwise you’d have to pay a freelance? Sharing can mean many different things so it’s up to you and the sharer to agree something that works for you both. However I think you need to work out what exactly you need out of the arrangement. Is it a financial contribution or is it help with chores and someone schooling/hacking your horse when you can’t. If you want a really good rider who you can rely on then you should be paying for that not the other way round.

These things are complex aren't they and all sharers with the right horse/support are hopefully going to grow and develop with the right opportunities. I guess if they want to go professional and get paid as a result that's a bridge we'll have to cross.

Still thinking on this - what makes the difference between someone who is a good reliable sharer and a professional rider? I mean, no-one wants someone who rides badly or is unreliable, do they? Personally I'm not sure I'd want to pay anyone who wasn't either qualified to a decent standard or equivalent competition standard (though neither of those things are really a reliable marker, or at least they never used to be!). I think I'd only really be happy paying someone who has "lived experience" (for want of a better term) of every angle of horse care and riding to a highly ethical standard - which for me includes considerable experience of the daily grind and personal sacrifice of caring for horses on a daily basis, which you just don't get sharing once or twice a week.

what makes the difference between someone who is a good reliable sharer and a professional rider?

Usually ability! I advertised for a rider when I was pregnant and the people that rocked up claiming to have experience while not having a clue was frightening. The worst one was a teen who said that she was paid to help out at a riding school with the youngsters (horses) - I asked her to tie the horse up and pick out his feet then put him in the field. Her knot fell out straight away, she was too scared to pick up his back feet, and when we got to the field she let him go with the gate hanging wide open ...... I didn't ask her to do a trial ride.

A couple of others passed the ground test, got on and then just stood at the gate with no idea how to ask him to move. One gave a pony club kick at which he shot forward and luckily she landed well when she fell - it's a bloody minefield trying to work out who is good and who is deluded.

It's the same if you're looking to sell or rehome to be fair. But it doesn't mean we should undervalue the opportunities we provide, when they're of a good standard and come at a huge cost either. Especially when someone can afford it and you're breaking your neck to pay for it. I think my sharer is going to get a better deal than I do tbh and maybe that's my issue. It's going to pain me watching someone rock up to just do the best/easy bits, get treated really well and swan off on multiple holidays and lead a full social life, paying a fraction of what I do in time, money or sacrifice for a high standard of welfare. I'm feeling somewhat disenchanted by the whole industry tbh.

But it’s your horse - you chose to get the horse and it’s your responsibility to make sure it’s taken care of. You’re not doing a sharer a special favour 🤷‍♀️.

i asked what you want to get out of sharing your horse - if it’s help with the running costs that’s one thing, but if it’s help with the care/schooling etc that’s something else. My daughter is a professional rider - she gets paid to school/jump/generally improve horses but there’s no way she’d pay for the privilege! I share a horse and pay the owner a small contribution towards his costs, in return she gets a hand with mucking out and knows that he’s been exercised on days when she’s busy. I’m a relatively novice rider so we’re both getting something out of the arrangement, however I wasn’t able to ride for a couple of months after an accident (not from share horse!) and his owner refused to take any money while I was out of action.

I'm not sure what you mean by help with the running costs being different to help with care/schooling etc. Sharers pay to ride because they get the benefit of one horse to ride and treat as their own on their days, without the round the clock 24/7 responsibility and with support from the owner in terms of management. They also don't have to ride and juggle different horses for different owners and try to make a living from doing that. They are very different things.

I'm not expecting anyone to school or bring on my horse, but if they want to have lessons and improve, they can. I've been all sides of this, so I guess I have a fairly broad perspective. But if I wanted to share as a way to have all the benefits of owning without the responsibility or work (I do all the jobs) knowing I wasn't going to be available for a significant amount of the time, I would expect some sort of compromise if I couldn't fulfil my share of the deal.

Significant accident/injury as you describe is slightly different to the situation I'm looking at.
I've already said I'm happy to cover a reasonable amount for sickness/holidays but in this case I would either need to find another sharer, or reduce my hours of work unpaid/pay for someone else in their absence. It might work for someone else who doesn't have to do that I guess, but it doesn't work for me. Trying to find the right balance that's workable for everyone and doesn't leave me feeling like the groom with the lion's share of the strife, I suppose!

You sound quite resentful of the future sharer. It doesn’t sound the best start to a relationship, which has to be based on trust and mutual respect.

Do you have to take this particular person on? My experience is that there are many people out there looking for a share.

I think you're right @theferry. Something has got my back up and it's not the best place to start. Frustrating as they ticked a lot of other boxes and had sifted through many as described in earlier posts before. But I know it will grate when I sacrifice a huge amount to make sure dhorse is well looked after, someone else expects an easy ride they can pick up and put down at their choosing.

In that case find a different sharer - both sides need to be getting something out of the arrangement and as @theferry says you sound resentful before the share’s even started.

I think that, given how you feel, I’d go back to the drawing board, unless you’re really desperate. I know it’s frustrating to work your way through the 10 year olds who think they can ride a 17hh thoroughbred, but surely you’ll find someone more suited to your situation? But that’s based on the fact that there are hardly any shares around where I am. Perhaps the situation is different where you are.

But surely that is the whole point of sharing a horse - that you don’t have the responsibility you just rock up , groom , ride , do jobs if there are some and walk away until next time . If the sharer is away on holiday / work I would expect them to still pay but not worry about who is looking after the horse on those days particularly because that would be my concern as the owner . Hence why I’ve never had a sharer or loaned any of mine because I’m a control freak .

I think I may be realising I am too much of a control freak as well @Floralnomad! I just think of the commitment to the daily grind I've put in over the years for both mine and other's horses in my care (both paid and paying for!) I'd never think to expect to have half the riding on a pick up/put down basis. Their days are their days all year round in my book - the low commitment deal in my mind is only having to go a couple of days a week and not having to contribute to all the extra bills.

Maybe having a sharer isn't for me

I don't understand 🤷‍♀️ that's the whole point of sharing vs owning. It's not their horse - not their headache. If you don't like the daily grind put it on livery or sell and start sharing yourself.

We had some awful try outs for sharers. Adults and teens with crazy parents who literally couldn't ride. Then we had some nice but unreliable sharers who used to cancel at the last minute, but at the end of the day, they're our horses and our responsibility. I don't think it's fair to blame the sharer for having the freedom to take long holidays and only take care of the horse on the days they are there. They are actually helping you out because they take over your chores and riding on the days they're there.

I suppose it comes down to value. For me, to have the option of riding a nice, safe, well schooled horse, well managed, with good facilities, that you don't have any jobs to do or go to twice a day, is a privelege and worth more than one that's DIY, can't jump and crap hacking/bitchy yard etc. I only want the lower end of a standard share price in our area, so I thought a good deal, but I do want consistency. Someone who is away for 3-6 weeks at a time, several times a year is no good to me, or dhorse really. If I don't have consistency, it's more work for me than it's worth and I'd want a higher rate to facilitate that. I want the kind of sharer I was when I was one, basically! It's a mis-match, which you've all helped me to realise, even if most it seems on the thread don't agree with my position, but I don't mind that! There's more to the situation which would likely help people understand a bit better, but too outing, so I'll leave it there. Grateful for all the input

If they’re away that much, I’d also be questioning whether it’s going to work. I don’t think I’d be resentful, but it would be challenging in practical terms—it kind of goes against why you have a sharer (to have consistent support and someone who can take full responsibility on their days).

I was a sharer, same horse for a decade
It helped the owner knew me from when I had my own horse and she's also an instructor so gave me lessons (I paid!)

I basically gave her my days off work and did it that way but she was always on the yard as it was her job
No limit as to how many days I could ride as I ended up having sole use

When she died I was heartbroken as if she was my own and she said to me "you were her person regardless of who owned her"
I adored that mate!

Exactly, thank you. Hence wondering where to draw the line. I guess it just annoyed me that it wasn't raised until quite a way through the process. I want someone who loves dhorse like their own, not just as a job, hence thought a sharer was the way forward. There was an element of attitude too (having described my situation and need for a sharer to help with certain things) which rubbed me the wrong way. Never mind. Back to the drawing board.

That's really lovely and sounds a great sharing relationship. Sorry for your loss

@Mchorseface that would bother me too.

I have been an owner with sharers and more recently a sharer.
As a sharer, I was pretty reliable especially when I knew the owner had a lot of stuff going on in her own life. I covered things like Christmas and New Year regardless of days as I was home and she was away and the yard prices were high. I showed up on my wedding day. The owner paid for yard cover if I couldn't make it though.

Yes and I'm happy to cover a reasonable amount when things can't be helped and the odd holiday. There was just a sense of complete inflexibility- no offer to make up other days at other times (outside of the long holidays) etc.