How to regain confidence after a fall?

[Justonedayatatime11]

I'm desperate for some advice. I've been riding consistently for the past 7 years, and ad hoc for the past 20. 6 weeks ago I fell off for the first time and did myself a fair bit of damage. Cracked ribs, arm, some nasty cuts and a horrible concussion.

I'm now back to being able to ride and I'm an absolute wreck. Desperately wanting to ride but my fear sets in as soon as I'm on and I freak out.

I can't justify this level of nerves to myself. Although it wasn't a pleasant experience, it certainly wasn't as bad as it could have been and I feel like an idiot for being as scared as I am.

Does anyone have any advice, or been in a similar situation? I don't want to give up, but I hate feeling this way

what is the format of your riding? Is it riding school lessons or private share etc? If you can l would suggest some individual rather than group lessons to get you started again. Could you do a lesson in Lungeing or long reining? Might feel safer from the ground but still get the horse contact and fun/satisfaction? Confidence is a tricky one, be kind to yourself. If the fall happened in the arena for example could some gentle hacking with someone walking with you help?

As above - where is your riding taking place?
I used an excellent cd/dvd series by Jane Savoie called Freedom From Fear. She uses a lot of imagery, and it helped after I had a very painful fall some years ago. I can't find it at home now so I must have given it to someone but I recommend hunting it down online.
Otherwise I recommend starting again slowly on a reliable horse with a trusted friend/instructor. If you imagine a fear scale of 1-10, keep what you do to about a level 4, as if you push yourself beyond that you compound the fear instead of overcoming it. You can gradually expand what you are able to do within that 4/5.

What were you doing when you came off?
You have my sympathy as I felt much the same, as it was the first time that I didnt just bounce in 30+ years of riding. I'm back to it now, although I'm a lot more careful about what horses I ride these day. Best wishes!

Where in the country are you? There are some brilliant nervous riders courses. For example I know of one near london run by a stunt riding place. It's a day and they increase your confidence and teach you how to fall etc. They do wonders for riders who have lost their nerve.

I have heard of these too. Someone I knew did one some years back and loved it. I'd be tempted to give it a go!

Yep what’s the set up? If a riding school could you speak to them and ask for a lunge lesson on a very quiet horse as an introduction?

I'm really tempted to book one. I've lost my nerve a bit as a rider due to age and a non horse related accident.

I was just coming on to recommend the rider confidence course at the centre for horseback combat which is near hemel Hempstead iirc. Beautiful place and an excellent course if you can get yourself there...

That's the one!

I think everyone loses their confidence a bit after their first fall. I'm agog that you managed 20+ years without ever falling tbh. I've been riding 2 years and fallen twice.

I lost my confidence after the first one and my instructor spent 8 lessons walking in circles with me, trying to persuade me to trot again. (He spooked at the trot, that was how I fell.) Second was a spook while cantering, that one I landed, rolled and straight up and back on.

The first fall is the hardest. But you just have to keep telling yourself, if I fall, I fall. Its happened before and nothing bad happened. It knocked the wind out of me as he's quite big so a long way down but other than that, just a few aches and pains for a few weeks.

I now ride that same horse with confidence, am trotting bareback and over trotting poles with no stirrups. I'll try pretty much anything on him. He and his spooks have greatly improved my stickability.

Can you do the same? Get a riding instructor to give you a few lessons to regain confidence? Don't be ashamed to ask for a lunge line as a safety net.

How did you fall? Was it a spook or just a misjudgement? If it was the horse, do you have the option of riding someone else for a bit?

Get yourself some good safety wear, a body protector and proper skull cap helmet (not an adjustable one) for a start and neck strap. This is my safety net. Then just get on and sit there. Sit for a few minutes get off. Then build up to a walk. Do it with a horsey friend watching over, do it a couple times a week. What were the circumstances of the fall? The first time I fell of as an adult I bawled my eyes out as it was a shock to the system and I got away with just a bit of whiplash. I felt like this with my new youngster who was spooky when they first arrived. we just took it really slow, even just sitting by the stable with her did wonders

I got beaten to it!

https://www.horsebackcombat.co.uk/courses/rider-confidence-course/

I did the course a few years ago and it's very good. But I'm a better hypnotist that Karl 😉

To be honest, as falls go, that one sounds pretty nasty. Are you riding the same horse, or is it a riding school type set up where you can ride a different one?

I would definitely suggest some 1:1 lessons with an instructor you trust, and take your time- it is normal to feel this way, and pushing things will likely make it worse.

Sorry, to answer some questions. I was helping break in a 5 year old. On a lead rein. Just to add to the embarrassment! She absolutely bronced and I just remember being on the floor. No idea what caused it, don't really remember anything.

Logically I keep trying to tell myself that by riding in the indoor/outdoor school then I'm immediately off the concrete. Also, the horses I normally ride have never done anything like that.

I'm trying to rebuild my confidence with 1-1 lessons for no more than half an hour a day but that frustrates me. I tried an hours hack last week and was a nervous wreck the whole time.

I'm desperate to get rid of the nerves and I just don't seem to be able to. Hate the thought of feeling like this every time I ride now

I wrote a blog on dealing with riding nerves. Happy to DM it to you if you like.

I think you’re being way too hard on yourself - it’s only six weeks and your body won’t be healed yet. Concussion symptoms can last for quite a while so I’m not surprised you’re not feeling like you normally would just yet. Do you have to ride right now ie is it your job or can you give yourself a bit more time? Can you go right back to the very basics and start by just getting on for a few minutes then getting off and then walking for a little bit etc Basically you want to be so bored with what you’re doing that you actively want to go a bit further. If it makes you feel any better I came off two months ago and still haven’t got back on - I have no idea what happened but somehow I came off face first and gave myself a brain bleed. I really want to get going again but the head injury clinic have advised waiting for another month as getting another injury while you’re still recovering from the first is not good.

I think time will be a healer and maybe avoid volunteering to sit on random youngsters and you'll be fine! I did something similar getting on the yard owners new one, didnt even have my stirrups before it ran off cantering round the school and broncoed me off winding me. I put it down to the horse not me and stuck to riding my own from then... I am still apprehensive about getting on strange horses now but maybe thats just wisdom? Just give yourself time its not even been that long youre barely just healed go easy on yourself

I've been there and it is an awful feeling, you have my sympathy. As others have said, are you sure you are fully healed, because if not it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel nervous because you are physically more vulnerable than normal.

If you are healed, I'd suggest stick to riding one horse, that you know you can trust if that is practical. Give yourself time to get the confidence back, and take it steady. It may take a long time to get back to where you were, but if you are determined enough you will get there.

Bless you, you are being terribly hard on yourself by the way... it is still early days.

I had a humdinger of a fall a few years ago which sapped all my confidence.....head and body just kept snapping back to its not safe don't do this. I had bought myself the most bombproof Highland Pony ever but was too scared to ride him - owned him for 5 years and had probably only got on him a handful of times and happily encouraged everyone else to ride him which was utterly bonkers😳

What changed for me was moving to a new DIY Yard with a very very bossy fellow livery who literally nagged me into riding my pony - first time she walked by my side for 30 minutes then initially we stuck to the same hack 3 times a week for a month and I managed to go from shaking and happy to get off in one piece to announcing one day "this is boring" so we added another hack to the armoury, I won't deny that some of the challenges were in hindsight really scary the day we crossed the open stubble field in November in a howling gale took me back a few steps but I learnt that my chap was actually the kindest pony around and he was safe - now almost a year later I am hacking out on my own (another huge OMG and the first one was literally 10 mins up the road through the forest gate and back!) I have also started to have lessons again with a very technical instructor (find concentrating on one or two small things keeps my mind busy enough to not start to overthink) and am back to enjoying riding again. In all honesty I will probably never again do the crazy stuff I used to do but happy and enjoying what we are doing.

Another thing that helped me greatly was to go and see a Humans Givens therapist who used the Rewind Technique - this is basically when you run through the incident that caused the issue then rewind it back and forth - it may be worth looking into as after a couple of sessions I was able to ride without the need for rescue remedy or having that horrible sick feeling in my stomach.

Wishing you well x

Yes, with your update I'm not surprised it was nasty. Newly backed youngsters are notoriously unpredictable, and I too made the mistake of being a hired crash test dummy when I was young and naive, resulting in a fall. Not good for me or the horse, the first time of being sat on. These things need to be carefully managed, and I've backed several since then, after learning to do it properly.

Start back steadily, on a more reliable prospect!

@MrsLumsden I think that the Jane Savoie series I mentioned upthread used the rewind technique. Very effective

Lovely picture!

Im so sorry you hurt yourself when you fell.

Last year I broke my femur after a fall from my young horse. When I got him back from his extended rest when I could ride again I wondered if I would ever have the courage to get on him again. It takes time. The advice above is sensible. Don't push yourself too hard, go slowly. If you are only comfortable walking round the school for a couple of weeks, then do that. If its your own horse I would strongly recommend some groundwork to build confidence in each other.
Im doing fun rides and jumping again now, the anxiety does settle :-)

Thank you for all the advice, I'm very grateful. I think I've been pushing myself too hard, determined to be ok, and I'm really not. I had a lesson today but went completely back to basics, did the whole thing in walk. But felt more relaxed for it so maybe that's the way to go. I am hard on myself, and maybe didn't understand how much of an impact hurting myself has had on my mind!

You are hardwired to avoid injury. The brain is very good at this. Don't be hard on yourself, it is instinct to avoid repeating it. The same instinct that prevents you putting your hand on a hotplate when you know its on or stops you stepping off a tall building.