Newborn baby and horse ownership

[Smurf1993]

I have had my horse for 2 years, she is the live of my life and I have done so much work with her brought her on from a freshly broke spooky green horse to a happy hacker who jumps and is schooled in natural horsemanship. She is a gypsy vanner and I used to spend all my time with her.

When I was pregnant I largely managed with her, got her through winter well, kept on top of grooming and kept her fit/engaged with ground work. I really missed riding and was sad she didn't get off the yard anywhere near enough anymore but we managed.

Baby is 3 weeks old now and I'm panicking because I just can't see how I will possibly manage to look after them both. If you had told me I'd be washing a gypsy cobs legs in feather mite shampoo 9 days after a c section I would have thought you were mental but thats what I ended up doing. I've got a sling to put my daughter in so I can do yard jobs but I worry about her head not being supported enough as it can flop to the side if I'm not holding it si I only have 1 hand anyway. I'm dying to ride again now I'm healed and I've not ridden for 10 months but I'm not ready to leave my daughter to do so.

Does anyone have any advixe on how they managed? It would break my heart to sell her but I'm panicking!

Are you a single parent OP? Do you not have anyone who can help with the baby or horse?

Newborns are a lot of intense work. Can you hire help with the horse for the first six months? I don't know anything about horse care but I do know that the intensity of parenting, the relentlessness and the lack of space for anything else at all, really took me by surprise. I had no idea until I did. So don't feel silly if you're in the same situation.

Could you just keep an eye on it or find someone to have her on loan until you feel ready?
I have managed a horse with my little one but if my daughter wouldn't disown me for doing so I would prefer not to as I find it exhausting and stressful with a toddler now who just wants to dash between horses legs etc . and help brush etc - very unrelaxing and hard to ever have time to ride myself !

Can you put the baby to sleep in a pram while you do jobs? Might be easier

I found the newborn bit easier than the toddler/moaning small child bit just because they slept and were contained! The toddler years broke me. Can you turn away your horse for a bit? It won’t do her any harm.

My husband helps with things like mucking out when I can't do it but he has never been around horses so can't do horsecare and has horrific hay fever so can onky manage a quick mucking out before he has to leave.

Obviously I could leave baby with him at home and go to the yard but I'm not ready to be away from her yet she's only 3 weeks old and I'm shocked at how intensley attached to her I feel, I don't know when I'll be ready to leave her.

I managed with my mare on DIY but only with help from others on the yard and my husband helping out when I couldn’t make it.

I did leave my baby at home though. I’d just feed before I left and keep my phone on loud in case I got an SOS to go home.

I was lucky I was only a short distance from home and admittedly I didn’t do much riding in the early days until the gap between feeds was longer and I could express

If he can help muck out at the yard then he can mind the baby at the yard and chat to you and make sure you’re ok, it’s temporary. In a few months you will be happy for small breaks from baby to spend time with the horse, but for now it’s just about survival.

I know nothing about horses, and this is meant kindly, but if you only had the csection 3 weeks ago I wouldn't assume you are healed and would suggest putting off riding for a while longer yet

We moved all of ours to full livery except for the Shetland , more money but ultimately less stress .

I did this, I had my own yard but not at home. The thing I regret is not keeping riding enough. I moved to just schooling and now the horse will not hack alone where he was fabulous at this before I had dc.
If using a sling you need one of the soft wraps that are just one long piece of material. The baby Byorn style just don’t offer enough head support for newborns. Then after that you need a jogging buggy like the out n about nipper. Pricy but you can push them over a bumpy field if needs be. Also don’t be afraid to leave your newborn asleep for short bursts in the car seat somewhere like the tack room within earshot but out of reach of hooves.
If you can find someone through word of mouth who wants a part share arrangement this would also help.
Don’t worry, the newborn phase is unique and your hormones are all over the place. In time it will get easier to balance.

Dont sell the horse! Could you get someone on the yard / loaner (be picky who) to ride a couple times a week. Also buy the OH some antihistamines and tell him to crack on! Sounds like a bloody excuse
My OH knows if we decide to have a baby in the next few years the horse 100% stays so is part of the package

You will settle into a routine soon hopefully. congratulation on your new baby.
-Take advantage of livery services. Could consider a temporary full livery yard move if possible budget wise? Or move to live out situation if would suit horse? mine is currently out 24/7 but appreciate not all areas offer this. Dont be rash and leave a good yard on a whim though. I was ill last week and had to leave my horse in the field for a week (which i never do) with a few flying visits and had to just take the pressure off myself with them being well groomed

EDIT - mum on our yard mucks out with the baby in pram at stable door / in car sleeping in eyeshot in cooler weather so where theres a will theres a way