Bloody kids!

[UpUpUpU]

Sorry for the rant! Peri pmt and a bad day.

There is a teenage girl at my yard who is absolutely a pain. She has her own pony and cares for it impeccably. However, she takes it upon herself to try and care for mine and others too.

Just a few examples: She brings my pony in to groom without asking me and then feeds her with her ponies feed. Mine has sensitivities so I’ve explained why she can’t do that.
Yesterday I brought my pony in and she had what I can only describe as an intricate lattice plait in her mane that had been rubbed and tangled up. Took ages to undo it and pony was not impressed.
she “cleaned” my brand new and very expensive leather saddle with her synthetic saddle spray leaving it dry and sticky.
she used my saddle pad and left it covered in hair, on her saddle.
she asked once to use my fly spray as she had run out. Of course I said, and ever since then just helps herself.
Ive spoken to her SO MANY times that she shouldn’t touch my things or do things with my pony, but yet it continues 😩

She is the same with 2 other horses and has on occasion ridden one of them without asking!

The final straw has just happened. She’s been talking about a friend who wants to learn to ride and she is bringing up to meet her pony. She’s just posted a picture on our yard WhatsApp of said friend, sat on my pony in the field!! No helmet, no head collar 😱 My pony is a recently backed youngster!

How do I respond to this? No real parental involvement, she walks to and from the yard. Yard owner is a farmer, we hardly see him and even if I did he wouldn’t care less. I’m at my wits end 😩

I'd move yards. That's outrageous.

It’s just perfect for me though and my pony is really settled. She’s about 14 I’d say, lovely girl, bit of a know it all and not at all stupid. She completely understands why I ask her not to touch my pony and she apologises, then does it again 😩
I think I’ll have to try and speak to her mum (non horsey) as the next step. I’ve bought my tack home and locked all my stuff away, including head collars.

I have just replied this to her privately:
Please do not sit on my pony in the field! It is unsafe for your friend and not fair on my pony. You know she’s only been backed 5 weeks and it’s so incredibly dangerous. We’ve talked multiple times about not touching my pony or my things. It’s for your own safety and at your age, you need to learn boundaries and how to respect them.

I’d move yards. She’s not listening to you, you have no backing from her parents or from your yard owner.. what else can you do, realistically?

Is the owner/manager of the yard aware? They should be giving her a warning really and then asking her to move yards if she doesn't abide by the rules

I agree it's a pain to move but she's not taking a blind bit of notice about what you say. I think she would just get sneakier, carry on what she's doing but not post photos about it.

She clearly couldn't give a monkeys that it's not her pony and you've told her not to do stuff. The only way to be sure and to keep the pony safe is to move.

I think you need to go to her house and speak to her and her parents in person.

Explain if anything happens to your horse, her or a guest then she will be legally liable. You have repeatedly forbidden her to do these things.

My goodness this is really terrible - I would definitely say something to her mother. Sitting on a pony in those circumstances is unbelievably dangerous.

This.

If the yard owner is not prepared to issue a warning after an issue as serious as this it is not the yard for you.

Her dps need to know. ..

Thanks everyone. I think I’m going to call her mum. I’ve just realised the girl text her from my phone a while back as her phone had died so I have her number.

The YO doesn’t care. I’ll post a note through his door tomorrow though explaining what happened and my concerns for safety. If things don’t change it looks like I might have to move 😣

The parents aren’t going to start supervising her though , they will just tell her not to touch your pony and I doubt them telling her will have any more of an effect than you telling her . If she is the only one at the yard she will likely carry on doing just whatever she wants as nobody will know . I’d move .

I think it’s going to have to be a move. How annoying. Being forced to leave by a child!

I’ll start looking but give it my last shot with her parents and the YO too. Who would have thought it though!

I did get my pony moved into another field a few weeks back with another woman’s youngster. It worked well initially until the woman agreed to let the girl start riding her pony. That’s another thread! So she was back to having daily access to my pony and bringing mine in whilst she rode the other, so she went back in the main herd.

I think I am talking myself into moving now. Let the search commence…

You're not really moving because of the girl though, if that makes you feel better, it's the lack of a caring/involved YO? If it wasn't this girl it would be someone else (there's always one!) creating some drama or issue and if there's no proper authority figure to sort these things out then it will go on and on.

The teen girls on my yard are pretty annoying, the endless, endless drama, upset, fall-outs and recriminations (mostly among themselves although the unwary adults on the yard occasionally get sucked in), they're incredibly light fingered, anything that isn't nailed down they'll whip in an instant (in that dreamy naive teenage way of 'oh! Is this your whip/fly spray/wheelbarrow/headcollar/saddle cloth/horse ? I thought it was mine/the yard's' (despite said item being very obviously much nicer/more expensive or a totally different colour to their's or the communal yard versions). And they've recently developed an annoying trait (based I think on watching one too many insta videos) of thinking they're vets, physios and behavioural experts rolled into one and 'diagnosing' every horse on the yard with some ailment or other and bitching about their owners' failure to follow their patented 'rehab' plans. But TBH it's all standard teenage stuff, in my DDs day it was natural horsemanship and trying to do join-up or 'liberty work' that was all the rage, I can barely remember my own teen days but I'm 100% sure I was an annoying know-it-all too. The crucial thing is that while our yard manager largely leaves them to get on with it and doesn't sweat 99% of the drama, I am completely certain she wouldn't stand for anything actively dangerous or riding/handling another owner's horse without permission - you really do need to have that level of trust with your yard owner IMO as you really can't be watching your horse 24/7, you need to know there are appropriate boundaries and protections at the yard...

You need to be firmer " You have broken my trust, It is completely unacceptable to touch my pony, no exceptions! In an emergency you can call me. I am extremely cross about this. But I do not want to fall out"

I would also contact the parents

I would point out to the YO they may face liability if they know this is happening and allow it to continue. There will likely be conditions on their insurance relating to appropriate tack and safety wear for people handling horses on the yard, especially children.

I'd also contact the mum and make it clear in no uncertain terms that she is not to handle your pony under any circumstances.

If you otherwise really like the yard, then I'd be prepared to give it one more try, but I'd definitely keep an eye out for good spaces coming up elsewhere.

So an update.

I managed to catch YO this morning. He isn’t at all horsey but he did listen to me when I mentioned my pony being sat on and any liability he may have in the case of an accident. He took it seriously and then went on to tell me he has his own concerns with this girl. Apparently, last week she went into a field of 20 ewes and lambs and then failed to close the gate behind her, resulting in said sheep getting into the next farmers field. He also said he had had a complaint from another livery regarding stealing of feed, so now will be taking it up with her parents and giving her a warning.

He has asked that I report anything to him going forward and he’ll deal with it.

To say I am surprised is an understatement! I won’t hold my breath just yet though!

Sounds like a farmer rather than an equestrian which does mean might not want to get involved in squabbles over who borrowed whose whip. When it comes to sitting on animals in fields, however, he will be more concerned and understanding.

Hopefully he will deal with it and if she doesn't behave then she needs to go not you. I'd wait and see. Keep everything locked up and hopefully she won't be stupid enough to get on your pony's back again.

I'd go mad. There's a few youngsters at my school who have been backed 5 months ago and wouldn't be safe for a beginner to sit on, never mind five WEEKS.

Hell, I'd not get on either of them and I've been learning nearly 2 years. There is one horse I will ride bareback but fully bridled as he is older and so calm and sweet. The youngsters, forget it! Without even a headcollar is madness.

It’s ironic as the day she let her friend sit on her was the same day she’d seen me tack up and then decide not to get on as pony was being an opinionated mareish cow bag, then watched me lunge as pony rodeos around for 20 minutes before settling! I wasn’t risking my neck that day but she thought it ok to let her friend get on her!
Thinking about the comment up thread about teen girls being know it alls, (she really is!) I now believe that picture was almost a ‘look how good she is for me and my friend’.

I saw her briefly this evening and she said hello but wasn't her usual chatty self. Hopefully she has been reprimanded properly. I will keep you updated in the coming days.