His first fall

[whatsoccuringnow]

My baby boy (age 6) has been doing equine therapy for 6 months. Funded by our local domestic violence service. He is a mammys boy and this is the first hobby he has enjoyed. It's built his confidence and he loves it. He fell today, his pony was trotting faster than he's used to and he panicked. He clung on and went to the side. He lost his grip and fell about 2 feet. He was OK and the instructor/therapist was amazing. He cried but she encouraged him to get back on. I stopped myself from climbing the fence and pretended I was cool but I can't stop re playing it in my head. I have no history or knowledge of horses or horse riding. He's not upset, but I'm completely shaken. Is this OK?? Does this happen to all kids starting out?? He's so tiny and I can't stop thinking about it.

It happens to everyone, including experienced riders! Horses can be unpredictable. It sounds like the instructor handled it well, and your son was a trouper, and got back up. Have a stiff drink! You’re probably far more shaken than he is.

Horse riding is a high risk sport, but brings many many benefits. It is normal to fall off when learning, and even when a very competent riding due to the unpredictable nature of horses or tackling challenging jumps/terrain - accidents happen. The question is, do the risks outweigh the benefits? With my daughter, I said if she wants to do it, I will support her to do so. If she ever expresses that she isn't enjoying it any longer, she stops. Her call. There are risks in everything. If you didn't take risks, life would be dull and limited.

Thanks for the replies, I agree but just question myself on everything

As PP has said it is an accepted risk with riding. Horses aren't robots and accidents happen. IMO it is more about the parent and how you react. If the child sees the parent panicking then they are more likely to be scared themselves. The most important thing (as long as they haven't got concussion or seriously hurt themselves) is for the child to get back on straight away.
Even the best riders fall off and there is an old saying that it takes 60 falls to be a good rider so you can tell him he is on his way 😆

I teach and sometimes I get asked by parents and children if I can guarantee they won’t fall off. My answer is always no. I teach little children mostly so I always try to keep lessons super safe and am cautious when allowing off lead rein for example but horses will be horses. I usually say that if they keep riding until they are grown ups that I can guarantee they will fall off eventually so it normalises it a bit for them. It may not be until they start jumping for example but it will happen. We even have a registration form that outlines the risk of the sport that parents have to sign.

What I will say is what you’re feeling is perfectly normal for a non-horsey parent. When I was a child my mum would occasionally sit in the car to avoid watching 😂but the instructor did exactly what a good one should do and encourage the rider back on so long as no injury sustained. The worst think you can do from a first fall is not get back on as you’ll replay it in your head and make the fall up to be scarier than it was - and that makes getting back on even harder the next time.

Also most children cry on at least their first fall even when they are not hurt as it’s a bit of a shock so again - don’t panic there. 😊

Absolutely normal, and sounds like it was well handled. There's a reason why 'you have to get back on the horse' is an expression! It teaches you a lot about life.

It sounds like you might have had a bit of a hard time, and it's lovely that you are doing this for him, I bet it does him good. 🙂

Falling off is just part of riding. It happens to everyone at some point. Some falls are comical, some are dramatic and scary. That’s just one of the hazards of the activity.

My daughter has fallen off countless times 🤦‍♀️it's unfortunately part of riding.

As others have said, totally normal. They all fall eventually, but if it's any comfort, while riding is of course a risk sport, the kind of riding your son is doing, at an approved school, on a quiet pony, wearing appropriate safety gear, under the supervision of an experienced teacher, no jumps or galloping and in a enclosed, surfaced arena is very, very safe. It's really unusual for a child to hurt themselves falling in those circumstances (of course it happens but the increased risk compared to other 'normal' activities like playing on playground equipment or football is negligible really).

In fact I'd go so far as to say having the odd soft fall is one of the best experiences a child can have as a rider. It teaches them that surprising, scary, negative things do occasionally happen (in riding as in life) but that they can get back up and try again. They can work out what they did wrong and improve so they can try again and do it better next time. Sounds like that's exactly what happened and hopefully it's teaching your son great resilience and learning skills. You're doing a great job not transmitting your own fears to him, keep that up 👍

Thanks everyone. He is absolutely fine since and his teacher told him she has fallen at least 4000 times! I hid my panic and gave him a thumbs up as he passed by me after getting back up (with my heart racing!!) I love that he's managed it and is enjoying it and it hasn't put him off. I suppose it just looked dramatic and that's what got me upset maybe.

Have a look at this video, and especially the looks of fun on the little boy's face!

Just don’t do what my friends mum did when she wobbled off as a child and shriek her name whilst trying to climb over the wall of the viewing gallery. My mum had to hold her back.
Friend was fine, just mortified by her mother!

I was always told you’re not a rider until you’ve fallen off 7 times!

Some of my best and longest laughs were from ridiculous falls that happened decades ago. Both to me and my friends. Keep it light and fun, you probably both need the distraction…
Of course there is some danger involved (though seems to be minimal with young children compared to grown-ups eventing or riding challenging horses), so only continue as long as he is enjoying it 😁. So glad you can do this for him!

Thank you everyone, these answers have certainly helped me! He's been laughing about the fall since. I love the idea of building resilience and I suppose that's what I hoped he would gain from this, even though I didn't have any experience myself. I laughed too as I had to stop myself climbing into the arena but I can picture now I'd have probably spooked the rest of the horses and caused mayhem!! Maybe he and I are both building resilience with this! I have had a hard time, he's still very involved with his controlling Dad who was abusive to me in front of him. This is the first activity I've been able to support him in independently. The domestic violence service have funded it for 6 months so far, I'd never have been able to afford it and it's amazing for us. I may come on again to ask advice for what gear to buy if he continues. He has a hat and boots which friends kindly donated that their kids had grown out of.

Horse riding is brilliant, not just for resilience. It is great that your son is getting access to it with no cost to yourself at the moment.
There are so many facets to it and obviously horses are incredibly therapeutic (unless you own one and at that point you end up needing a therapist because of your horse 😁).
As far as equipment goes second hand is fine for jodhs/boots and even body protectors etc but please don't ever buy a second hand hat. Even if a hat is dropped on concrete it should be replaced and you have no way of knowing with a second hand hat. The padding inside starts degrading after approx 3-4 years and then massively reduces the effectiveness of the hat. The riding school should have ones you can hire. If you buy a hat it should be fitted by a qualified fitter. You literally can not put a price on your head or life.
Unfortunately there is no way of getting away from the fact that riding (and the equipment) is expensive. I wouldn’t go out and buy anything until you are positive that he will be continuing.

I am a horsey mum and had EXACTLY the same reaction when my precious babies fell off! I also used to get myself in a right tizz anticipating accidents that never happened! I had to pretend every time that everything was fine and just laugh it all off. But they are both fine and still riding in their 20s (and still occasionally hitting the deck). They now realise how I felt when they saw me come off in a really silly accident about two years ago (I am also fine and didn't even get a bruise!).

It sounds normal. I'd be more worried if the instructor was taking unnecessary risks but this sounds like a little extra speed just panicked him a little bit. It might be worth talking to the instructor and seeing if he's able to understand balance a little more. It's not losing grip that usually makes you fall off but losing balance. In fact, gripping on can cause you to fall which is tricky as it's a natural reaction to being a bit nervous. Rider tenses, pony tenses, speeds up, rider grips on more. He could be starting to learn about relaxing ( not going floppy but having the right amount of tone), sitting up instead of leaning forward if tense. Obviously depending on his development level. I sometimes help riders to be more aware of their bodies by leaning a bit one way, then the other then getting them to try to find the middle. Often falls with novice riders happen because they are not actually aware if they are sitting squint- then they pull the saddle and sometimes just slide round slowly, all the time being seemingly unaware. This sense of balance can really be developed though. You don't want to be telling the instructor their job but could ask about any exercises he could do to help with balance. Standing on one leg is a good one, hold your ear if wobbling ( it works, honestly!)

It's great that he's been positive about the experience and picked himself up and carried on, that's exactly what they are probably hoping he gets out of it. Hopefully he doesn't have another tumble for a while but he knows now it's not the end of the world. It's scary as a parent though but you must be proud of how you both handled it.

Congratulate him, he is now a proper rider. You haven't really ridden until you've stacked it once and if he sticks with it, I guarantee it won't be his last stylish dismount.

Everyone falls when learning to trot. It's such a jarring gait and if you are even slightly out of time with your rising trot, an unexpected change in speed can easily overbalance you. That's why they stick them on little ponies, it's not far down.

Try being fat, you have to ride the big buggers. one spooked with me the other week and I thought 'fuck coming off him, he's too tall for that. Hang on!'

As said riding is a risk sport but what you describe is really very safe. You'd have to have a pretty unlucky landing to do any sort of damage, especially as a bouncy child. My dd 10
Likes to ride our pony bareback and at first her balance wasn't the best so she was forever sliding off the side, laughing and clambering back on. Her seat is amazing now and she rarely comes off. Horse riding is amazing for confidence and resilience and taking the odd tumble is all part of that. Well done for hiding your upset and it probably won't come as such a shock next time.

What a wonderful thing to be funded for your child and how wonderful you are to support him with it. Naturally your overriding instinct is to protect as a parent but even more so given what you have been through. You have done the right thing by showing him strength and seeking support elsewhere. Fake it til you make it. Good luck.