Need some experienced perspective please

[horseHorseHorse]

I'm really not sure what to do and would appreciate some experienced perspective please.

I recently arranged a loan/pony share of a riding school pony for my daughter. We were at a family event yesterday and went up today to meet him and have a little plod about.

The pony is a 12.2 gelding and is used in the riding school, was advertised as 100% bomb proof and safe (I know no horse is ever 100% safe but that's how he was described!) Daughter is 5, and has been riding in lessons for about nine months. I have experience with horses and have worked with them in the past though I am a bit rusty currently!

He was a bit grumpy coming in from the field this morning but seemed willing enough. Brought him to the yard, groomed and tacked up. Again was a bit grumpy but I put it down to him just not being a "pocket pony" and didn't think too much of it.

Daughter mounted at the mounting block and we headed towards the outdoor school. Pony wasn't very willing to go forwards so popped him on the lead rein. Tack was fine, nothing obvious that would be upsetting him.

About halfway to the school, he did a massive spook - both feet right off the floor, dropped his shoulder, yanked the rope out of my hand and bolted off at high speed. He went directly back to the stable and was very unsettled and upset. Untracked him and asked one of the girls who work on the yard to pop him back out.

Daughter came off over his shoulder and thank God isn't hurt beyond a few bruises. I have a broken hand from the force of him pulling away.

I just don't understand what happened - I am blaming myself but I can't think of anything I did wrong. Daughter was riding quietly, not kicking him or hanging onto his mouth.

I also don't know what to do next - it's £300 a month, and we can only use him after 2pm. The school have said he'd never done that before and have offered us the use of a different pony but to be honest, it's put me right off. School is BHS/ARBS approved. I want to ask for my money back and break the loan.

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled- I'm still very shaken!

Horses spook. The worst fall I’ve ever had was from an incredibly quiet cob as she tripped over her own feet, panicked and I got trampled.

I think a lot of riding school ponies are really overworked and often very school sour. Has he done a lot extra over the Easter break?

Is this the riding school you both normally use? Has your daughter ridden this pony before? Had you tried him with supervision/assistance before?

Riding school ponies can be absolute monkies and are very good at spotting weakness/inexperience and taking advantage but I wouldn't expect quite such a dramatic reaction from a pony suitable for a five year old beginner.

I would be wary that this pony was advertised, most riding schools would have a list of people wanting to loan a pony.

It might be bad luck but I wonder if you might be better going back to proper lessons and maybe looking for a part share or loan when your daughter is older.

He's maybe used to being on a group rather than alone and add that to being handled by a stranger was too much. Trying another pony sounds fair. I'd honestly doubt a school would have or loan out something that does regularly do what he did

Did you disrupt his usual routine by bringing him in when all his mates were still outside in the field. Mine often throws a strop if all his mates are still out and he’s being made to work.

All horses can spook of course, they're not machines and like you've said nothing is 100% bombproof but it does sound much more dramatic than you'd expect for a pony 'sold' as suitable for a 5yo beginner to ride, considering you had him on a lead rein at the time too. I'd guess though it might be the first time in a long time (maybe ever?) he's had the combination of being ridden on his own, away from a group setting, and being handled by a new person too, which could explain it. Plus at my yard anyway now is peak time for madness in a lot of horses, combination of wind, not getting much turnout and fresh spring grass when they are out has meant there's been a lot of silliness, spinning and leaping around even from the more quiet sorts (and some horses can really scare themselves if they're not used to spooking, silly as that sounds). Or it's possible he'd hurt himself in the field or had some pain somewhere just starting that day that the school/you couldn't have known about or done anything about in advance.

Like others have said, has your DD ridden this pony in lessons and seen others do so too? Including private lessons where he's not just following the one in front and has he behaved well then? If so then I'd be more inclined to genuinely believe this was a one off with a reasonable explanation then, and perhaps take them up on their offer of a different pony (although I think I'd ask if one of the instructors can be there to supervise at least her first ride for your peace of mind, even if you have to pay extra). If not then I'd be more suspicious, schools (even BHS registered ones) can use loan schemes as pure money making opportunities to try and screw some money out of ponies that are not suitable for use in the school for a variety of reasons which non horsey parents wouldn't spot. And I have to say a beginner 5yo being supervised/taught/led by a rusty parent doesn't sound the safest situation (a confident and capable 11yo+ maybe), at the school I livery at under 16s can do their loan scheme but an instructor is down at the school with them at all times, not actively teaching as such but keeping an eye out for any ponys playing up or situations brewing and will intervene as needed, parents are around too but cant be expected to play the same role. I'm sure this makes it more expensive but much more suitable as a first experience of loaning/sharing. Maybe like a PP said go back to lessons for now (at least until your hand is better) and reconsider the loan for when she's a bit older?

Also I’ve just re-read, was this the first time you’d tried the pony? Going up and taking it for a ride with a very novice five year old without supervision is… odd of the riding school to say the least.

Her normal riding school is amazing but don't offer any pony care sessions and she's been really wanting to learn how to look after her pony.

Yep, first time we'd met this pony though she has ridden at the yard before - we got shown where everything is, one of the grooms took us down to the field, caught the pony and then left me with the pony - she said to do what we liked!

Obviously I was extremely aware that it was the first time we'd met the pony so decided on a shirt little plod around before putting him back out but that definitely didn't happen! 🙁

By short plod I mean literally just a lap of the school at walk then back.

I am going to ask if we can either have the money back or transfer it over to pay for lessons.

This sounds very odd for any responsible riding school. They wouldn't just loan out a pony to any 5-year-old and say "do what you like". That's mental and I would cancel this arrangement. It doesn't sound safe at all. Find a Pony Club Centre to sign her up for stable management lessons. Much safer than this odd school.

I work at a riding school and we would never leave someone new to the school unattended with any of the ponies. Personally, (not saying this is true of yourself), people over state their ability and knowledge so id want to keep an eye on what was going on.

Im shocked that any riding school would just let a novice 5yo and rusty parent just crack on and would have me seriously worried about the rest of their attitude to safety, and indeed the welfare of the ponies if they are checking they are being handled appropriately

I was extremely honest about my abilities and my daughter's too so it wasn't like I claimed to be an expert. I do have BHS qualifications but they're from 20 odd years ago 🙁

It’s more shock that they took your word for it? A normal school would be watching you like a hawk to start with

Yes this is where I was going with my post. Not that you over-claimed but the school doesn’t know you so they shouldn’t have just taken your word for it. Their fault not yours

Still can't believe how crazy the riding school is allowing 5-year-olds and their parents free reign on their ponies 😱 We had a 12-year-old share our pony whose mum actually worked with horses in her day job and the yard owners still kept a very close eye on what they were doing. They certainly didn't have free reign to do what they liked off the cuff.

It's a big no. Riding horse ponies are plods because they are nose to tail and spend their day in autopilot. Sounds like this one was very unwilling/unable to take part in this activity with you and your daughter. Walk away

I can't understand how you ended up loaning a pony you had never tried before and without and supervision?

Also £300 a month for only limited access seems extortion to me.

I would give up the loan entirely and find a private owner who has a pony you can try and then commit to a few days a week once you're used to them.

I'm sorry about your daughter, that sounds unpleasant. I agree with others that all ponies can spook but that level of spookiness seems excessive to me. I would assume he had been overworked and/or doesn't enjoy his job being kicked around by kids and was telling you as such!

I even double checked with the groom who brought him in that we were okay to do things alone and she said just to crack on.

Awake currently because my hand is really sore 😕 daughter needed calpol before bed too 🙁

This is bonkers.

You'd never met this pony before and were allowed to just bring him in, tack him up and do whatever you wanted with him?

The riding school are massively in the wrong here but tbh there lots of red flags waving in your OP too.

We have had a loan horse for 18mnths now for my 16yr old and our yard were very strict about how things worked - she already worked there so new most of the taking care bit. She had two private riding lessons on him in front of his owner and the yard owner before we were even offered him as a loan, we have carried on her riding lessons on him every other week as we also felt this was really important.
Over the past 18mnths we have had a lot of up and downs and it's been a lot harder than she thought it would be. She's come off three or four times.
Obviously my daughter is older but In your case I would be particularly worried that they haven't looked at her riding him and have just left you to crack on with it.
Do you know to how much he is being used for lessons in the morning? If he's already been exercised a fair particularly in group lessons it maybe he's not as willing by the time it gets to the afternoon.

What everyone else has said.

1. you’ve paid £300 up front to part loan a pony you’ve never even seen?
2. you didn’t watch it being ridden by one of it’s regular riders before putting your own child on?
3. they let you put your child on it without someone supervising you?
4. they didn’t even check your credentials?

It all sounds rather dodgy. I have never put my kids on a pony I don’t know without having seen it ridden, and certainly would not have signed up to pay such a large amount of money without going over pony and yard with a fine tooth comb first. I would also politely suggest that you previous experience may be a little on the rusty side if you had not stopped at any point in the proceedings to ask yourself if what you were doing was sensible.

I’m not going to knock riding school ponies, because they know their jobs and they can be great. My ex-riding school pony though, bought to be a safe step up for my kids, knows all the tricks in the book to avoid work (his method of choice is needing another wee, which is far preferable to the drop shoulder and spin approach) and is happiest following the tail in front. However, it pays to be aware of the difference between a riding school pony and a private pony. Usually, the shock is the other way round - people move from riding school to private and are surprised the private ponies need a bit more riding.

I would say you need to both get more experience before taking a pony on loan. Find a BHS riding school that does pony care days. If they do them, but not for children as young as 5, that would suggest they think 5 is too young. I don’t know that many kids that have a sustained interest in yard duties, grooming correctly or tacking up at that age. Heck, I struggle to get my teenagers interested in those things! They mainly just want to ride.

You're getting a bit of stick here OP - the trouble is as someone who is rusty/inexperienced of course you trust what the professionals at a reputable riding school are telling you (and it's in the OP that it's BHS and ARBS approved so clearly not a total cowboy outfit), even if it feels a bit 'off'. It sounds like you checked and were reassured several times. So please don't blame yourself for what happened. The outrage on the thread I think is better directed to the school who really are the ones to blame here, absolutely ask for your money back or at least converted to lesson credit (now I know the full story I take back my advice about asking for a different pony).

And for those that are disbelieving it could have happened at all, like I say, while to an experienced eye there are red flags all over the situation I can well believe it happened exactly as OP described, there are irresponsible riding schools out there that use these loan schemes as a bit of a cash cow, they can offer their ponies that are too old/young/green/broken/sour for regular lessons for 'loans' instead and cover their costs. And if they're only interested in the money of course they do the bare minimum supervision/teaching. I guess the thought process is that as it isn't really the same as a 'normal' loan of a privately owned horse, the ponies are used to being ridden by novices and multiple different riders already and they'll only be riding in an arena likely, not jumping or hacking, it's low risk and some easy money to let them plod around on a lead rein effectively like a pony ride. Totally wrong of course as OP has found to her cost but that's the way they think, I reckon.

Remember although they hadn't seen this pony before, the DD had had lessons at the school previously so I am guessing everyone took that as sufficient assessment of suitability and safety (wrong as it turns out of course but that's hindsight). £300pcm sounds about right too, of course that's a lot of money particularly to pay for an unsuitable pony but again, put yourself in a position of someone that's only paid for lessons before, £300 at today's rates is only about 7 or 8 lessons, compared to riding say 4 times a week, the loan seems a bargain (of course not thinking about everything else you get with the lesson aka the support of the instructor).

I'd take this as a lesson learnt OP, get yourself some good painkillers for your hand and next time trust your instincts which are clearly better than this school's!

This isn't to blame or have a dig because clearly the riding school are negligent here, not you.

However, for future reference, especially with a young child, here is what I would do:

1. Insist on seeing the pony ridden and ideally doing the main things you want to do with it. E.g. if you want to hack, then make sure you see the pony hacking, and so on. Unfortunately people do lie, and also someone else's idea of "bombproof" or "safe" may be different to yours.

2. I probably wouldn't put my daughter on board without making sure I was confident handling the pony in different situations, first. So e.g. if you wanted to have a plod around the school, I would make sure I have led the pony around the school first, and everything had gone well- either in that session or another one.

3. I'd dial everything right back from what your daughter has done in lessons- so she may be walking/trotting independently in lessons, but for the first few times in a new share, I'd ensure that she was on the lead rein and in a situation where I was confident I was fully in control. As you've seen, unfortunately it doesn't take much for a 5yo to fall off, so I'd want to keep things under close control until I was more confident in my ability to manage the whole situation.

Just wondering as well, did you wrap the leadrope around your hand? If so, I'd always advise not doing this, and just holding the free end in a fold, unfortunately for this exact reason.

I hope your hand and your daughter feel better soon. At least with a share you can walk away completely and hopefully get a full refund!

It might be worth getting some practice at stable management before looking for a ridden share? There are often people with small ponies out there who are happy for them to have a groom and a fuss- if you could find a set up like this, it could progress into a ridden share?

Thank you for the feedback - I do appreciate it. I was letting the school and the staff there guide me fully and I feel like a bit let down by them.

I asked if he'd be okay walking with her to the arena and was told he'd be fine. There's not a mounting block in the arena - it's just outside of the stables because they have three arenas - two outside and one inside. I don't want to post a pic of the yard but the mounting block is literally yards from the stables and the school we were heading to is maybe a

For me, the main concerns are that the pony was (in your own words) grumpy and unwilling. I know some riding school ponies can seem a bit a reluctant, but it sounds like he was maybe in pain and not happy to be brought in, tacked up and ridden, especially not by a total stranger.

I do think the riding school made a lot of mistakes here, but equally I think if you're going to be in sole charge of a pony, you need to be aware of what their behaviour is trying to tell you as well.