Confidence Lost while horse shopping

[riderriddle]

Ive been looking for a while now and currently have a loan horse who I get on well with - we clicked pretty instantly and have never fell off her despite her being not a kick along and her napping and mini rearing out on hacks, spookiness at the indoor arenas. I found sharing a bit limiting due to them not being able to jump and want the flexibility to just have my own routine. With finances in place and stable reserved, I started hunting for a cob type excited to be able to do more activities, fun rides away, competing and jump again etc which is not possible with the current loan horse - I felt ready. This would be my first horse as a adult so not wanting anything green or big or forward .

However I've since been to see several horses advertised who were not as advertised - too forward / lame, bolters, broncers, no brakes, kickers, biters, bombproof 'wont move' types .. Now I would consider myself a confident novice but with all these bad viewings I'm beginning to lose the 'confident' part to the point where I'm terrified to get on anything new now even if I watch someone else ride first. Should I pack in my search or keep going or under horse with a complete plod despite having enjoyed something that doesnt need nagging? Is it meant to be this hard?

I suppose its having the confidence to bring on a happy hacker kick along to something that would do a bit more odd dressage test, pop a small course etc. The one I viewed interpretted a change in rising diagonal as stop etc. So hard to keep going probs needs to just be hacking out for 6 - 12 month before any proper schooling to find their balance. Had a lovely willing temperament though.. I just worry my wobbles will cause them to wobble and it will be a vicious circle

I understand why but you want one horse to be steady not plodding but good at everything and thats hard to find. A compromise is probably called for.
If you mainly want to hack you need something that’s fantastic at hacking and will always stop when you want on a stubble field and bombproof with traffic and random things in hedges.
If you want to do SJ, XC and dressage something thats good at that but it may limit your hacking.

Yes that is understandable. It is very difficult when you are trying them out. When you have the horse to yourself, you can try again- ie prepared for that stop, learn the tricks to keep the forward momentum, etc. It wouldn't be difficult, but on an unknown horse with and audience I can see how it would knock your confidence 💐
I will say that it is very achievable though.
Cannot recommend the book I quoted upthread enough (I promise I'm not the author lol) I think the guy who wrote it is in Cumbria, and did at one time have a riding school but I don't know if he still does.

Im definitely not a choose with your heart kind of person, both have to be aligned, wheras other on the yard 'fall in love' and buy without much thought I just see everything that could go wrong as Im far too aware of my short comings and have thought the money would be better spent on some lessons with a nice forward horse.. For some the dream is just to own at any cost, but I actually want to ride somewhat so want to enjoy riding what I buy if that makes any sense.

You do sound very sensible, and in your shoes I'd save the money (and also have extra lessons, if you can afford that at the same time, to regain confidence on unfamiliar horses)

Completely agree with this, I do want ploddier end of the spectrum, we're nearby a competition yard and half don't hack out because their showjumpers are far too spooky for it! I think thats why I feel my loan is a good in the middle, not a straight forward hack will dart for home given the chance but I feel safe on her (another loaner previously lost confidence on her because of this), but has a bit more go for other activities. Its a shame she'll never be for sale. I think part of me would be gutted to say goodbye to her for something less go, but I know a bond comes in time!

I feel for you OP. Horse shopping is a truly hideous experience. It sounds like you are doing everything right, so I have no doubt eventually the right horse will come along. Hang in there.

Don't limit yourself on size either. A lot of the time, the bigguns are the gooduns. Obviously depending on your size. I'm 5.7 and a bit chunky so I'd be looking 16.3hh to 17.2 ideally but wouldn't discount 18hh if it was perfect in every other way.

The smaller horses I've ridden have mostly been utter wankers, with the exception of one. The bigger horses have all been really good rides. I guess people train them more diligently as they are capable of doing damage if allowed to get away with it.

Also maybe try looking at older horses. Maybe over 10? Then they've mellowed out a bit.

The smaller horses I've ridden have mostly been utter wankers, with the exception of one. The bigger horses have all been really good rides.

Interesting sweeping statement here. I’ve ridden ‘wankers’ and wonderful horses and ponies of all sizes. The size of a horse has absolutely no bearing on its manners, personality and training. My biggest competition success this year was on a 14.1hh pony, and the biggest horse I’ve ridden all year at home or abroad in international competition was 15.2hh.

I used to own an 18hh HW, and unless you are absolutely massive yourself or are seriously into the sort of showing classes that these size horses seem necessary for, you don’t really need to overhorse yourself. Horses this size eat more, need bigger rugs (ever tried putting a 400g mud-encrusted 7’9” winter turnout rug back onto an 18hh-er? You do end up questioning your life choices!) need a bigger stable, take more mucking out, trash the ground more through sheer weight.

Buying a massive horse because one poster thinks little horses are all wankers is not great advice.

Lol I agree with @backinthebox! 16hh plus is a lot of horse if you aren't very tall.

Also with very big horses travelling can be an absolute nightmare

I think you should go back to regular lessons while you save up a bit more. Go for ones that have been out there competing if you want to compete (not just ‘has potential’). Your instructor may know of something suitable so ask them to put feelers out.
Cobs can be flashy types aswel as quiet, so if your budget is limited then you’ll end up with green or quirky or a complete handful.
For reference, £7k will get you a nice foal, not a horse that’s ready to go and get you rosettes and lots of fun.

Would you go for something older? One of the best horses I ever had was over 20 when I got her. We had 4 great years hacking out, one where she was slowing down unfortunately to the end. She’s not been replaced because it would be extremely difficult to get such a good horse again.
Something in its late teens would do most of what want. If you’re going to ride 3-4 times a week that would be fine. My mare hacked out daily and I did lessons/schooling as well.

For reference, £7k will get you a nice foal, not a horse that’s ready to go and get you rosettes and lots of fun.

I disagree. My friend bought a very well-bred foal last week from a performance horse stud for less than that. There are horses out there for this price, the trick is scouring through the adverts and working out why they are that price and deciding if you are prepared to compromise. There are any number of reasons a horse will be cheaper - older horse, previous injury, time off work, quick sale needed, quirks or vices, etc.

What there does seem to be a lack of out there is nice genuine allrounders. Every horse I see advertised is bigged up as though it’s going to win gold at the next Olympics, even if it is only a fairly average performer. At this time of year though there are a lot of people reducing prices to move stock on. By February the prices for competition horses will be creeping back up, but hunters will be about to end the season and a lot of them come onto the market then.

I don't really get the foal comparison either, how is the price of a sports horse/purpose bred for competition foal (which from what I hear is quite a lot less than £7k at anything other than the very top end of the market!) got to do with OP wanting a nice jolly cob to do riding club type activities on? Surely they're two totally different markets as very few people are commercially breeding cobs (or anything really) for the novice/leisure market? Sorry if I've missed the point

£7k is not a lot of money is the point.

Don't worry, don't hurry and something will come along. Tell absolutely everyone that you know exactly what you're looking for and go to a riding school or ride friend's horses until your perfect pony comes along (although nothing is perfect, there's always something!).

Go back to enjoying riding for what it is without the stress of owning until you're happier in the saddle again, there really is no rush, and be as open as you can be to age, colour, breed etc, but don't get anything too big. You're a better rider with your legs wrapped around your pony and it's always useful to be able to get on from the floor!

Let the reserved stable go to someone else - it'll be easier to swop yards than swop ponies in the future.

@CatWoman12345 im looking for a very specific horse with a very particular skill set. I’m being very selective wrt age, height, temperament. I have a box to tick - the horse I buy must be capable of competing at international level in the sport I do yet also be gentle natured enough to be looked after by my children. I have not set a budget, because I am in the lucky 😳 position of having inherited some money and am looking for the right horse with budget being a secondary factor. I have all my friends looking, and am being sent adverts on a daily basis. In the last 24hrs I’ve been sent 3 horses that would fulfil my criteria all advertised within the 7-8k bracket. Nice horses. I’m not going to see them because I’m going to see another horse which looks very special who is only just outside that price.

This ‘you won’t get anything worth having for £7k’ is alarmist and incorrect. Not everyone is looking for a gold plated show jumper or eventer, and not every horse can be one. But there are plenty of nice low-level allrounders out there that will do the job for the OP very well without breaking the bank. And I can find them in my narrow window of requirements, with a broader range the OP will certainly eventually find one.

At one point early in my horse search, I did actually wonder if I didn’t find the perfect horse if I should buy a very cheap indeed one (in the region of £1-2k) and see how far I got with it in competition. But I decided I wanted to keep looking for my perfect horse.

@riderriddle do you actually have more experienced horsey friends helping keep an eye out for suitable horses? Don’t worry too much about underhorsing yourself - a steady horse can always be souped up as you gain In confidence and ability, it is harder to cool a livelier horse down ime. There are many people here advising you to take more lessons till you feel confident enough. I would say you will never really reach that level with lessons, you’ll always feel you want a bit more. The only way to gain the confidence of a horse owner is to be a horse owner. Be warned though - every single horse I have ever bought, I’ve got it home and gone ‘what have I bought? What have I done?’ 😱😱🤣🤣🤣🤣

PS my friend just retired from racing her TB that she won the Welsh Grand National with (yes, you read that right) who also does dressage to a reasonable level and hacks to the pub for a quiet drink. I don’t think she even paid £1k for him. He will make her a lovely riding club level horse. He is an unusual case, but just shows you do not need to spend big money to have big success.

To be honest a few close friends have recently scooped up their coblets for about £5k-£6k (both had some quirk they could compromise with but on a lwvtb situation so was less of a risk ) so know its doable but I'm happy to pay more for more education.

Im not sure if the time of year potentially has something to do with it.. I know they will be more expensive in spring but there may be more genuine horses for sale? It seems I'm coming across the out of work, just broken, problem horses, owner overhorsed themselves brigade.

Am I expecting too much with wanting something that could go do an intro test? Im pretty open on breed colour age etc ? Thought must admit I did pass up looking at a nice looking TB through friends as I feel out of place on anything bigger than 15.3! And tbs seem to run off with me probably due to my balance.

I just need to decide whether to give up the stable to take some pressure off of finding the one and pray the loaner's yard owner finds somewhere to squeeze me in if they come up..

I personally don’t recommend TBs for first time owners.
Ive owned ones that are angelic to ride, but if something goes wrong it can go wrong incredibly quickly. They do have that 6th gear that a lot of horses don’t have.

I won’t own anything else but in my million years of owning TBs, I’ve only had one who was easy to keep. The rest were poor doers, or had crap feet, were very vicey in a stable or were a bit institutionalised in various ways, so even if good to ride needed someone who knew what they were doing with their management.

£7k might get you something but I hate the comparison with competition types, I’d argue it’s much easier to get a nice ISH mare, put it to a nice enough warm blood stallion for £700 a pop; and in 5 years time have a horse that’s probably going to be smart/flashy/scopy enough to jump 1.20s with a competent, confident rider.

Its MUCH harder to produce a horse to be able to put up with a wobbly novice especially if you also want that horse to have enough about it to be a good competition horse, even at a very low level. And of course that’s what everyone wants. So they cost fortunes.

Yes there are lots of project horses in the £1-£2k range and lots of project horses out there - there will always be cheap horses.
That’s not the type OP seems to be looking for. Good horses that take a wobble (OP’s words!) will come with a price tag.

Don't get me wrong TBs are beautiful but are sensitive souls that need careful riding and management from what I've seen. So tend to avoid out of personal preference. I find the more expensive bracket £8-10k are jumping 1m like a connie type sport horse type and will be too much horse.

A friend has suggested I'm looking for something that doesn't exist and I should get something green and just crack on. Im open to an older horse but the ones Ive seen werent sound or were out of work so couldn't be trialled properly.

(would now be one of my no. 1 questions how much work are they in)

I don’t think what you’re looking for doesn’t exist. It does, it just also happens to be the type everyone wants and therefore could potentially be VERY expensive.

This. They do exist. And I’m not suggesting you buy a TB (I wouldn’t!) but using that horse as an example that you don’t have to spend £££a to buy the right horse for you. I cannot imagine anyone would guess you could buy a top racehorse for £1k, so suggesting you can’t get a nice allrounder for £7k is not true. Which is why I asked if you have horsey friends helping you look. Just as with pony club ponies, these unicorns are often sold by word of mouth.

We looked at Connies btw for my daughter, but as you say they are a lot of pony! We bought her a nice safe Irish cob instead (£4.5k in 2020) and it’s taken her to a top ten place in the world championships of her discipline. Pony Club had told us he was no good when we got him! 🙄