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Original poster

Saying Goodbye

67 replies

Just12345 · 06/10/2023 17:47

I'm a regular but I've name changed because I'm just to sad to talk about this in real life and know friends are on here.

After 27 years together I've booked the vet for next week for us to say goodbye and I guess I'm posting for re assurance.

He's 38 years old and I've had him since I was 11 and I always promised myself better one day to early than a day to late but now I've made the call it feels just so hard .

I just don't want him to try another winter I'm worried he will get down and not be able to get up and I'm worried this winter will be horrendous weather wise, he can't eat hay anymore so grass and hard feed is all that keeps him going and he needs to live out 24/7 . Last year he lost so much condition and it's come back over summer but I thought that a lovely day with the sun on his back and a healthy shine was better than a wet winter day. A few weeks ago I noticed he found the farrier painful holding his legs up and he's really started to slow down as he moves around.

I love him so much . He's not Ill. In fact he looks well at the moment and seeing him everyday is putting doubts into my mind.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this post but it feels so nice to write down my worries because I can't face talking about it .

The vets have been amazing and agreed with me when I booked it but goodness me this is the hardest choice.

Has anyone else with a golden oldie been through similar

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 11/10/2023 17:35

I’ve been present at 4 by injection , it was fine . One was already on the floor the others went down with the first injection and it’s no different to them going down a bit drunk for an anaesthetic . Once down I sat with them stroking them whilst they went . We’ve had all of ours collected by the local pet crematorium and he always advises that you don’t watch the actual collection . Best wishes @Just12345 , hope it all goes well . I have found all of ours quite a peaceful experience .

Original poster
Just12345 · 11/10/2023 17:51

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I won't be there for collection! I want to sit with him for a while and then I will leave . You have all reassured me so much

OP posts:
Unfortun8 · 11/10/2023 19:32

Exactly as @elastamum said. I've been with many horses at the end and all been just like this. I suggest you give your horse a good groom now and cut several long lengths of tail. You may want to have jewellery made of them in the future, or maybe keep. I wouldn't suggest doing it on the day as you'll be too emotional. It will be ok.

Original poster
Just12345 · 11/10/2023 19:49

Unfortun8 · 11/10/2023 19:32

Exactly as @elastamum said. I've been with many horses at the end and all been just like this. I suggest you give your horse a good groom now and cut several long lengths of tail. You may want to have jewellery made of them in the future, or maybe keep. I wouldn't suggest doing it on the day as you'll be too emotional. It will be ok.

I know this is ridiculous but I took the scissors to do it this weekend but then I thought he might know .. so I decided to do it the day before

OP posts:
Bemyclementine · 11/10/2023 20:43

Hope youre OK @Just12345 , my experience has been the sane as mentioned above, reading the accounts has had me in tears thinking it might be my old girls turn soon.

alloalloallo · 11/10/2023 22:01

Just12345 · 11/10/2023 19:49

I know this is ridiculous but I took the scissors to do it this weekend but then I thought he might know .. so I decided to do it the day before

Show quote history

No, it’s not ridiculous, well if it is, I am too.

Someone shared a poem with about horses with no tail entering heaven and I freaked out a bit that if I did it too soon, she’d know what it meant, so I waited until the last minute.

Hope you’re ok. I struggled a lot with this bit - I’d made the call, set a date and I just felt weird about it.

lifesabitchandthenyoudie · 12/10/2023 07:50

Hugs to you, and the others who have had to say goodbye. I looked at my old girl the other day (although she's only late 20s, not that old really!) but thought 'you're really not feeling ok, are you?' It was the first time I've wondered... But the very last thing I will do is let her suffer. You know when you know, hopefully your friend was just helping you make sure you are right, but don't let others make you feel guilty. It's the kindest thing we can do for them.

Thank you for sharing all your experiences, too.

Original poster
Just12345 · 12/10/2023 20:42

I had a call from the vet today about my other horse but she happens to be who is booked next week so I took the time to talk to her and she reassured me I was doing the right thing and also how peaceful she will try and make it ! I think having it booked in advance has been hard. Having a date .

I'm so thankful for all the support I have received here

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 12/10/2023 20:55

I agree that it’s more difficult booking in advance although better for organising and logistics . 3 of ours were decided on the day ( 1 couldn’t stand up , 1 had X-rays that showed a terminal condition and the other was an emergency vet visit with a quick decision but associated with long term ill health ) . The 4th I had booked for a couple of days time and it was very difficult looking at her and knowing what I’d planned .

frostyfingers · 13/10/2023 16:24

It's hard, but it definitely sounds like the right thing to do. Once I've made the call I keep saying to myself "he doesn't know, he doesn't know, it's just another day". If you don't want to be there, or feel you can't, then don't - with my last boy he'd a broken leg and I just couldn't stay, I sat with him until the vet came, stroked him and fed him treats but when it came to it I kissed him and walked away. The whole situation was awful and I couldn't cope, but with others I've stayed and felt no better or worse for doing so.

You will also feel some relief amongst the grief afterwards - and that's nothing to be ashamed of either. I wish you strength and peace.

countingto10 · 14/10/2023 19:52

Thinking of you at this horrible time. Just to echo what previous posters said, my mare went very peacefully, vet guiding her down gently so she didn’t fall - it was very peaceful.

If the day should come when I'm in pain,
And you know I won't be well again,
Promise you'll do what must be done,
If this is the battle that can't be won.

It'll break your heart, but please be kind,
Don't let your grieving sway your mind.
For this is when you'll let me see
Just how much you do love me.

Together we've had happy years
The future now can hold no fears.
Please don't let me suffer so
When that days comes, please let me go.

For my usual vet please will you send?
But stay with me until the end.
Hold me steady, speak to me
Till my once bright eyes no longer see.

In time I hope you'll come to see
It's the last kindness you'll do for me
One more time please stroke my mane
And know that I'll have no more pain.

And don't be sad that it was you
Who decided this was what to do.
We've been such buddies through the years
Don't let me be the cause of tears.

You'll always see me graze now,
with the sun upon my back
Painful limbs won't tire me now,
however long the hack.

I live now in your heart and mind,
a lovely place to stay.
And what you have in memories,
no one can take away.

Original poster
Just12345 · 19/10/2023 13:50

I just wanted to thank you all for your lovely comments on here

My beautiful boy went to sleep this morning. It was as peaceful as I could have hoped and he went with a mouth full of his fave coconut treats! He did just lay down and I stayed with him . It hurts so much. But I know it was right xx

OP posts:
RandomMess · 19/10/2023 13:56

Hugs Flowers

alloalloallo · 19/10/2023 14:00

I’m so sorry.

Sending you lots of hugs.

I’m so glad it was calm and peaceful.

plominoagain · 19/10/2023 14:23

So sorry . Knowing you did the right thing doesn't make it hurt any less, does it ?

Thinking of you x

Floralnomad · 19/10/2023 14:27

💐

Original poster
Just12345 · 19/10/2023 14:28

plominoagain · 19/10/2023 14:23

So sorry . Knowing you did the right thing doesn't make it hurt any less, does it ?

Thinking of you x

No it really dosent.

It hurts quite a lot more than I thought.
It's also typically now sunny when it was rainy drizzle this morning.

OP posts:
Ihaventgottimeforthis · 19/10/2023 15:07

To give them a peaceful end is our last and hardest duty x

frostyfingers · 19/10/2023 16:10

It does hurt, and the pain takes a while to ease - in time you'll remember the happy bits and it will hurt less - but I know right now it's hard. 💐

Original poster
Just12345 · 19/10/2023 16:52

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 19/10/2023 15:07

To give them a peaceful end is our last and hardest duty x

This is absolutely what I keep telling myself ❤️

OP posts:
Mollyplop999 · 19/10/2023 17:24

Oh bless you, I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I just wish all horses were lucky enough to have an owner like you.

Finetoday · 19/10/2023 17:45

I’ve been thinking of you today 💐

Bemyclementine · 19/10/2023 18:33

So sorry @Just12345 it's just heartbreaking. It is our one last act if kindness I think, to let them go peacefully snd not in trauma and distress. It's so much worse for us. They don't know, all they know is love. X

elastamum · 19/10/2023 20:24

So sorry. You did absolutely the right thing. Letting them go in peace with love is the best thing we can do for our elderly horses. Thinking of you x

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 20/10/2023 16:36

Ah, very sad to read and that poem (wipes tear)

Did you manage to get some trimmings from your lovely boys mane/tail without him thinking “what’s with the scissors missy?”

Respect to the fact that he had his favourite treat and his favourite person with him as he shrugged off this mortal coil.