Daughter is fairly new to riding but

[Lemieux7]

She has progressed much more quickly than she or any of the rest of us suspected. She has autism and ADHD and dyspraxia.. But for some reason, she has progressed really quickly and has progressed from lead rein to intermediate lessons in 6 months. I think she just loves it.

Anyway, she's 14 and has a plan to potentially own or loan her own horse if she's still successfully riding in 4 years time and I've been supporting her by doing a short horse course because I knew nothing about horses too and I will need to help her if and when the time comes.

Most of the instructors at the yard are lovely and gentle but there is one who can be really snappy. She's a very good instructor and even seems to have taken a real interest in my daughter but she gets frustrated with her and snaps at her because she doesn't know how to tack up a horse yet.

Clearly, she needs to learn this if she's ever going to have her own horse but it's not part of the riding lessons and my daughter is tiny and can't even do laces because of her disability so it will take a while for her to become used to pulling buckles tight enough etc. I also think that she learns better actually doing something than watching it on YouTube.

I'm thinking of asking if she can spend some time helping out at the yard so that she learns but I'm also a bit concerned that this woman might be behind her, snapping at her etc. 😬

Any ideas how to approach this?

Urg instructors like that need to get back to the 80s where they should have stayed.
I’ve some sympathy with a quick “Oi Molly no not like that” as horses are dangerous and things can go very very wrong very very quickly.

However I’d personally find a different riding school which has a pony club centre (go on the pony club website - you need to look for a pony club centre, not a branch) and get in touch with them. She might be a bit older than other children doing pony club but she’ll learn a lot and it will be invaluable

Definitely look to find the nearest Pony Club centre as they will teach kids the correct and safe way to be around horses plus she can earn badges and work her way up the PC tests. Our local PC centre is fantastic, really friendly and welcoming.

Thanks so much for your replies - that sounds like a great idea, thank you.

Helping out at the stables is a rite of passage for horsey teens and a really great way to learn and increase confidence on horse care. But for your DD before she starts helping I'd get her some proper lessons on stable management. Round our way they usually start a bit younger than 14 and already know the basics of how to tack up, groom, lead etc, the helpers don't get much by way of formal teaching, they learn through observation and from one another as much as anything else. I'm sure your DD will love it but given she might need a bit of extra learning time she'd probably feel more confident if she already knows how to do the basics and won't feel sidelined or silly compared to younger helpers who are more savvy. You can ask the nice teachers at her current school to do a couple of private stable management sessions (grand title but she can cover tacking up etc as well as basics of feeding, handling etc) or the suggestion of pony club is good as they can do badges that cover all this, or she could take her BHS care stage 1...

Thank you @maxelly - that's all good advice. Her riding school doesn't offer stable management lessons - they just recommend for the child to show up and help with others. But I live in an area where there are a load of riding schools so perhaps I can find one somewhere else.

Make sure it is BHS approved and that the instructors are BHS qualified to at least Level 2 coaching or Stage 3 in old money so you know she is being taught correctly.

God yes so important. So many awful schools are so badly regulated and fly under the radar

I think the Pony Club might be an option because we have a lot of centres around here. Although she’s 14, she’s a young 14 as she is autistic and is also small for her age so she’ll probably blend in more!

Buy her a cheap second hand bridle on ebay and let her practise to youtube videos. She will be able to take one apart and put it back together in no time (my DD is dyspraxic and we did lots of tack practicals at home and not on her pony).

Update: having spoken to the school, they have said that it is absolutely not expected that anyone should have to tack up for a lesson whatever group they are in. And they aren't happy that my daughter was told this.

She does still want to learn though and they did offer me a bespoke lesson for her to do this if she wants to.

This is a great idea, thank you.

Horse riding has been a life saver for my autistic daughter, it seems to be the only time she is truly relaxed.

I asked our riding school to make 1 in every three lessons an hour long lesson and split the time doing 30 mins stable management and 30 mins riding.

She now full loans one of the ex school ponies, she can mostly tack up herself but needs me to tighten the girth. Most other things she got sorted, we are very lucky that our riding school is very nurturing and really understand her way of learning.

I agree @MonsterChopz - my daughter is the same! She finds learning a lot of things very difficult but riding has come easily to her and she loves it. I'm glad it has helped your dd too

My dd is similar. Her riding school is purely riding. However she volunteers for our local riding for the disabled and has learnt so much from the other volunteers there, grooming, tacking, leading etc. it also allows her to spend a few extra hours around horses a week whilst giving something back to the community.

Does the equestrian centre run a Pony Club? My dd joined her local one and learnt loads about horse care, tack etc and it really boosted her confident.

She's now 15 and loans a horse locally. You could put an advert on your local Facebook group asking if anyone wants some help looking after their horse in return for teaching her about horse care etc.

As others have said, I also used to drop her off at the school on a weekend and she'd help out and get a free lesson in return, it's also great for social skills too.

Well, it's not a pony club branch but they run NVQ courses. She is doing the residential camp in a few weeks time. I think that will be helpful for her.

HI there. As well as finding a Pony Club Centre, you may want to see if there is a local Riding for the Disabled centre near you which can offer stable management/ground work sessions as well as riding lessons. They will take the pace of learning into consideration. In addition, RDA centres also take volunteers from the age of 12 (though this of course will vary from centre to centre). It is unusual to find a Pony Club Centre and RDA centre combined, due to insurance but I coach RDA participants (many of whom are walk/trot/canter) within mainstream Pony Club sessions at one such place.

I'd look at finding a stable that does pony club, at 6 months in she should be learning the basics of tacking up, basic care. With how expensive lessons are, you want her to have the full experience.

I've been riding 8 months, obviously dont do pony club as im an adult but I'm expected to tack up and untack my school horse and if I'm the last lesson of the day, put him to bed with a fresh hay net and his rug on in the winter or give him his dinner and turn him out in the field in the summer.

It sounds like your daughter loves riding and she'd get so much out of being allowed to do basic care and prep. I've really bonded with the horse I ride and most of that is through just hanging out with him, hosing him down if he's hot or brushing him, picking stones out of his hooves and plaiting his tail (which I'm crap at but he's very tolerant bless him) and if she wants to loan or share a horse one day that's all useful stuff to know.

Pick a stable with a culture of helping out if shes wants to get more involved. I love where I ride as everyone pitches in and we're basically told to treat the horses like our own.

If we want to groom them we just help ourselves to a brush and crack on and the kids are treated as being just as capable as the adults. I made friends with a 10 year old girl down there and we're learning to trot bareback. She loans a pony there and I muck out for extra riding time and this is our project atm.