Should I still ride her?

[Unicorn34]

I'll try to add all points straight away and not drip feed - I need a bit of friendly advice about the horse I have been sharing for 6+ years. Some facts for assistance:

• Been sharing 21yr old 15.3hh TBx (ex trotter) mare for 6+ years - 3 times a week
• I am 56 yrs old, riding since 5 yrs old and not inexperienced, unfortunately 14 stone and 5ft2ins - I won't ask for weight loss tips on here!
• Owner lives abroad for last few months, is still quite involved via messaging etc.
• Other 4 days are covered by ladies who are already horse owners at the yard

Question 1: A few weeks ago I tacked her up - usual issues - she sees the saddle and looks like a dragon (typical mare) - hates having a saddle put on and blows out so you cannot do up the girth. Got all done dodging the bitey face and full force used on the girth! Went to leave the yard and another horse was playing up so she became anxious/excited and started spinning. Managed to stop her and we went out (with one other) for a bit of road riding. All OK. However, I have been wondering whether she hates being tacked up as it could hurt? She had an injury back in the trotting days that caused her hip to be injured and wondering whether this is why, her back isn't a good shape either. Saddle was bought "off the peg" and not fitted by a saddler, plus me being a bit on the big side could all equate to pain? Would she act like this if it was pain related? Or is she just being a mare?

Do I still ride her or get the saddle checked out first? She is OK once I'm on but she isn't a calm ride, never has been, and I worry that she just doesn't like being ridden. Owner claims she "loves it" - I beg to differ.

Question 2: So dragon-face is always hangry when I get her in, stamping and pretending that she is going to bite me - she never has and I just tell her to get over herself, a bit of a smack on the shoulder when she oversteps the mark. Heard yesterday that "she never does this" when the others bring her in and that "she is an angel". Makes me feel shite and now I think she doesn't like me any more. When I was poo picking the other day she came over for a cuddle and we had our heads together. I love her so much, but am now thinking that maybe I am not her favourite person. As I said before, I have been sharing her for 6+ years and would still continue to share even if I couldn't ride her as I love her so much.

If we have cuddles when she is calm (not hungry) then does she like/trust me? Is she only playing up as she trusts me and knows me so well? What do others think? She is a typical mare and her moods are all over the place.

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place really. I won't give up my share until the owner is back as it will cause problems (not so much for the owner but the horse) and I still enjoy the yard duties. But do I stop riding, maybe use it as a reason to lose weight? Does she still like me? I know it sounds childish but if she is stamping and pretending she is going to bite me (I know she has done this with the owner and another lady who knows her well) but she doesn't do it with the others who now help, does this mean I need to back off or am doing something wrong? She is definitely hungry as there is no grass at the moment.

My horse share is my Prozac - I am a carer and have MH issues myself so would really miss not seeing her. Love her to bits but know she is not mine. Any helpful suggestions/thoughts would be much appreciated.

Thanks

My saddle fitter charges £50 to do minor adjustments to existing saddle like adding stuffing or changing the gullet. If the saddle fits she doesn’t charge but I know others will.
If you really can’t afford that perhaps you stop riding her. I know you’re no skinny mini but your weight alone wouldn’t put me off you riding her. I assume you are not hunting/riding her hard?

My main problem is with the owner - we used to work well together when she was younger but she is quite strong minded and protective of her "decisions" regarding our shared interest - she often brushes aside my thoughts and worries. Being a sharer makes it difficult to put ideas forward to her, even the placing of a water bucket can be troublesome... honestly. I'm the one that notices when a hoof abscess is raising its head by looking at body language, but it gets fobbed off til it shows really clearly and she is lame - this has happened twice. I am very careful what I say now or who I say it to.

I may mention about the pink powder for ulcers - it worked last time when she seemed uncomfortable being tacked up about 3 yrs ago. But I normally have to pay for things like that if its "my idea". I really would look for another share if I didn't love this angry mare so much! She came really close to biting me yesterday when I got her in from the field - she was very hungry as there is no grass, I'd put some hay in with her earlier on but obvs this had gone. We are lucky that she has her own field at the moment so gets to eat everything that gets put in there. I knew she wouldn't bite me but was definitely not being "the angel" that apparently she is with everyone else. I feel like hiding in a bush on the other non-share days to watch what she does! Would probably get spotted though and be the talk of the yard!!!

Going to pop the saddle on at the weekend (without girth) and ask my knowledgeable friend about how it is fitting. I don't think it does properly, its quite new and hasn't been used much so is probably not worn in enough. I have also found a weight measuring tape to borrow.

Another poster asked what I do with her - its usually just a walk around the block as there is no riding here. If I go into the school I will do some trotting in circles but that's about it. I really would like to find a chunky cob to ride once a week, but feel a responsibility towards my girl - really do love her.

Just as an also.... since I've not been riding her (say once a month) everyone has commented on how well she is looking. These are people who have known her for years. Surely this can't be a coincidence.

@Unicorn34 a saddle shouldn't need wearing in to fit, it should fit immediately and if it doesn't then it shouldn't be used on the horse. All saddle should be re-checked by the saddle fitter 2 months after being fitted to adjust for settling of the flocking and to really double check that it is causing the horse any issues

If she is on a bare paddock without constant access to forage then it's highly likely she has ulcers. Can she get more hay? Personally after sharing a horse that long and the owner not actually riding (are you the sole rider?) I'd be happy to pay for a saddle check and a physio visit it's not a fortune and very worth it, but not the vets fees. That's too much! Saddle and checking for body pain is a good start though. It's worth considering the age of this horse too. It is often beneficial to keep a horse in light work rather than stopping and then attempting to bring back later. She will likely lose muscle tone quite quickly also the question of when is suitable to retire. That's worth a conversation with physio/vet

I don't think pink power is particularly helpful for ulcers. You could try her on something like this and make sure she has access to hay (soaked if needed) or even something like fibre beet.

https://www.viovet.co.uk/Feedmark-Gastric-Comfort-for-Horses/c27130/

I'm afraid that spending money is not an option for me - hence sharing in the first place - am living to my means as it is. Vets bills and farrier are covered by the owner who is currently overseas. When she returns for holidays/visits she rides quite a lot. I'm worried as I think she is around the same weight as me but can't tell her not to ride her own horse! She is also quite "gung-ho" with her as much younger than me, getting on from the ground so quite a lot of pressure put on the back etc. I will tell her if the saddle doesn't fit well though and if it is likely to be causing some pain. I will then have to leave it to her to decide what she does.

I may do the long-reining as someone suggested, I'd heard that was a good way of exercising. Mrs Mare does need regular exercise as she has been lame twice in the last year and loses condition very quickly. Do I use two lunging reins? Can I keep her in a head collar or do I need bridle/bit?

I won't be riding her until all checks are made. I just don't feel right doing so. I am happy to just spend time with her. Another person does ride sometimes, but she is very young and probably only about 7 stone so extra light. I did say that I was going to get the saddle fit checked to them though so hopefully they won't ride until I do. They have another horse they can ride anyway. Just me that doesn't have another option sadly. I really do enjoy riding but am a happy hacker, my jumping and gallivanting days are over! Saying that I did have a gallop on another horse last year and felt brilliant afterwards.

I will also suggest to the others that we start putting hay in the field with her daily so that she has a constant supply of food. We do this in the winter so could start again. I may even buy a bale myself each week and use that so I know it is happening. I could afford to do that.

If you have good hands, use the bridle/bit as it gives you more feel (and more control!)

Walk poles are excellent too, because they encourage the horae to engage their core and can strengthen those muscles.

How do you tack up? With a sensitive horse, I'd put the saddle on and fasten the girth lightly, then do the bridle/boots, tightening the girth in small amounts. Do you pull her legs forward to release any pressure under the girth too? Is the saddlepad pulled well up into the gullet so it's nor pressing on her withers? If she's fine with everyone else, I'm just wondering if you do something that she's not keen on without realising.

I put the saddle on first to warm her back and only do up the girth loosely. Her face and demeanour changes as soon as she spots the saddle. This is with everyone so definitely an issue for her.

Yeah she's in pain. I'm not an expert by any means but she's clearly trying to tell you something. Either back or belly, I think. Either her back is hurting or the girth hurts.

Random thought. Is she chill enough that you could get on her bareback? If it's her back she'll act the same right? But if she doesn't, it's more likely to be the girth. Idk it might be a really stupid idea but just my thought.

I can try bare back. I'm a bit slippier now that I'm older lol! Used to jump bare back when younger, walking is enough now.