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Horses left out on own - etiquette

10 replies

blinkybell · 24/02/2023 16:08

Just as a bit of back ground to this - DD’s pony is on livery. She gets turned out with 3 other horses - 2 are my friends (1 of which is retired) and the other one is another livery’s. Until recently I also had a retired oldie. They used to be a herd of 4 (ours and my friends) then a 5th was added, and now we’re back down to 4 in the field.

My friend leaves her retiree out in the field with my DD’s pony and the other livery’s when she rides.

A few days ago DD went up to the yard for a lesson. When she got there, my friend was already out on a hack, again, leaving her retiree in the field. The other livery’s pony was also out so her retiree wasn’t on his own. DD got her pony in, groomed, tacked up and went off to the school for her lesson.

Afterwards, she goes back round to the barn to sort her pony out to be accosted by my friend, going absolutely nuts at her - her retiree has got stressed, he was charging around the field, calling, etc and if he colicked it would be DD’s fault.

Friend and I have had words (lots of them!) since

Now, I don’t like leaving horses out on their own, so I will absolutely avoid it where at all possible, but, I don’t actually see that this is DD’s fault, or our problem, but it’s just got a bit nasty now

If she’s worried about him stressing when she’s out, she needs to bring him in and stop relying on other people leaving their horses out.

DD had a lesson, was she expecting us to just sit around waiting for her to get back? (we have to book out the school for lessons so there’s a bloody massive white board as you walk into our barn with lesson times written on, she could easily check).

Her horse wasn’t out on his own any

OP posts:
blinkybell · 24/02/2023 16:11

Aargh, posted before I’d finished.

Her horse wasn’t on his own anyway.

Anyway, after all that waffle, it is unreasonable of me to say not my problem, bring him in if you’re going out riding.

I’d bring him in but he’s a twat to lead and I quite like living

OP posts:
blinkybell · 24/02/2023 16:38

Also, just to add, DD’s pony and my oldie were ridiculously bonded so it was a complete and utter pain in the arse whenever DD tried to do anything with her pony.

I lost my oldie a few weeks ago and although I loved her dearly and miss her to bits, it’s so much easier for DD to go off and do stuff.

Dealing with a stressing horse was hard enough to cope with when it was my own, I’m not getting into it with someone else’s.

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 24/02/2023 16:42

I’m always a bit on the fence with this. I don’t think I’d leave a horse out that was going nuts but I also don’t do “favours” for peoples shitty animals they’ve never taught ground manners.

Bunnyishotandcross · 24/02/2023 16:46

Suggest she takes a moment to remember who's responsibility her horse is...
And block her.

blinkybell · 24/02/2023 16:47

Yes, we’d bring him in if he was stressing and he wasn’t such a knob to walk with.

Plus, he wasn’t on his own anyway.

DD didn’t notice he was particularly stressing when she brought her pony in, but once she was down in the yard you wouldn’t be able to see

OP posts:
Cakeandponies · 24/02/2023 21:54

If you had brought him in, wouldn't that have left the other horse out by itself? You left it out with another one, you did what you could. I also wouldn't be bringing in someone else's horse that has no manners, they are going to pay your bills when something happens! It's owner should have brought it in with her other one.

maxelly · 26/02/2023 01:35

Yes etiquette is usually don't leave a horse out alone but as you say he was with another it's hard to see what you could/should have done. My old mare got super attached to another mare in her herd a few years ago and it was a PITA dealing with her stressing and shouting when taken away from the other one as it's a hard behaviour to train out of them but I always took that as my problem to deal with, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to blame the other horse's owners or suggested they shouldn't bring her in to ride (I would have gotten pretty short shrift anyway as my mare's beloved was a high powered SJer, bit embarrassing as she was well out my hairy cob's league Grin )

Brbreeze · 26/02/2023 01:44

Etiquette is not to leave a horse out alone, but that wasn't the case here! If your daughter had brought friends' pony in then the other would have been left out alone.

That said, if I was bringing one in and another was getting stressed I would call the owner and see what they wanted me to do.

In the world of horses I would say not worth falling out over. Apologise and work out what to do next time. Its not difficult to text what time you are riding especially if its a pre planned lesson.

WetLettuce2 · 06/03/2023 22:37

Your DD hasn’t done anything wrong. She should be able to get her pony in anytime she wants.
Your friend needs to address the separation anxiety in her horse.
In the nicest possible way, this is not your problem.

KittyCrush · 20/03/2023 19:52

You've done nothing wrong here. I don't actually see what you could have done, your friend is highly unreasonable.

Etiquette is that you don't leave one out alone but I've known several people be injured bringing in the last horse (including a broken neck and hip! ) because it was very stressed when they went back and big and bolshy.

There are also people on my yard that took the piss with this unwritten rule and wouldn't bother coming back in an evening knowing someone else would bring their horse in. This backfired once there were 2 piss takers 😂

Hopefully your friend cools off and realises she's in the wrong and apologises.

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