Feel like giving up!

[LavenderSloe]

Feeling really down with riding at the moment and like I should just retire my lovely 14 year old mare.

I've tried so many things. All sorts of different tack - had saddle fittings, bridle fittings, treeless, bitless. She gets her teeth done regularly and 6 weekly back done. She's been cushings tested and is on a PSSM diet. Looks a generally decent weight, not bad topline for winter.

But no matter what, our riding just seems to be getting worse not better and she never seems happy. She yawns like crazy when I bring her tack out, puts absolute minimal effort in while I'm riding although does nothing actually wrong its just a massive effort to get her to want to work. And she has a permanently sour face. I try to ride her sensitively and to think if I'm balanced etc. I'm not a brilliant rider but not terrible either, have a lesson once a month. I'm definitely not hanging on her mouth and consciously trying not to nag at her. I vary her work - hacking, school, polework, lunging, occasional jump.

But what's the point of riding a horse that clearly really doesn't enjoy being ridden? I feel like I'm just getting worse too.

You're anthropomorphising her! Yawning doesn't indicate boredom and a "sour" face is (I believe!) standard for a mare - that's why I have geldings 😜Maybe she's just incredibly chilled out.

What does your instructor say about her?

We've all felt like giving up at some point you aren't alone. Ulcers? Echoing what does your instructor say?

This time of year really sucks when you own horses - it's cold, dark and mostly very muddy so riding is definitely more challenging and less fun. It's also hard when you are the only person riding, as you don't tend to see the improvements and good bits, and it's easy to focus on the negatives. We took DD's project pony out to a clinic a couple of weeks ago and it really helped put things into perspective - we had been worrying that project pony is rushing, not taking the contact etc but when she rode in a group it was obvious that everyone there had issues of some kind. Seeing others riding made her feel like she's not alone in having problems.

What makes you think she's not enjoying it?

It's winter, it's always crap in winter. It'll soon be spring - see what a belly full of spring grass and sun on your back does for you. Both take a few weeks off - shoes off and turn out and aim to restart at the beginning of April.

She's on a livery yard where turning away isn't an option but I think I will at least just give her some time off until Spring.

Honestly, you can just tell she doesn't enjoy it. The look in her eye, mouth, fact she literally shuffles around or puts the minimal effort in she possibly can. She's a funny personality anyway though- she pre-empts everything and gets terribly offended if she's not right and just switches off. I do loads of transitions and groundwork too, but she's always been like this.

Have you thought of doing other stuff with her? Going for walks on foot, long lining, free lunging, maybe a bit of EAHAE type stuff?

Could you pay someone else to ride her for a bit?

@Greatly I've got someone coming to school her tomorrow so will see how she goes for them

Have you had her tested for pssm type 1 and 2?

Yes she's Type 1 and on a managed diet, very very rarely gets any muscle issues these days so long as nobody messes with her routine

She sounds absolutely lovely ❤️

Would you consider just hanging out with her? Taking her for walks in-hand, playing in the school (a bit of liberty work or again, just hanging out, following her/her following you, playing chase me), teach her some tricks, bit of long reining, box her to somewhere new to explore (under saddle or in-hand). Just generally enjoying each other’s company without a plan, reward her for learning things (with treats - ime it really doesn’t lead to them being nippy as long as they understand why they’re getting a treat) and enjoying being with you

My boy was like your mare... turned out he had bilateral hock arthritis, never showed as lameness or looked unlevel and appeared to be 'able' to work correct when asked (grudgingly)... he just couldn't be arsed with anything, and just got more and more grumpy about life

If it is a physical issue, is there some medication/supplement she could go on? For example, my older boy is 22 and now on Equioxx (expensive but worth it) and it’s made a massive difference to his outlook. He can canter downhill now and seems so much happier. Worth looking in to whether there’s a treatment/supplement that will help

So my trainer rode her today and she was exactly the same for her. Watching, it did look like she was stiff through her left hind. So think I'm going to get a lameness workup.

Is she stabled or does she live out?

One of the horses I ride needs to be turned out 24-7 or he gets stiff and seizes a bit.

Try to see a specialist lameness vet rather than just your usual, depending where you are people might be able to recommend one.

Get her thoroughly checked. Then personally I'd change it up completely- does she do much fast work and exciting stuff? I'd get her properly fit and do a seasons hunting on her and see what her attitude is then.

Yes, I've booked a vet that a number of liveries I trust have used and recommended for lameness issues, rather than my usual vets.

Don't think I'd be brave enough for hunting, not really my cup of tea! But she gets lots of regular hacking and we have a decent gallop at least once a month when the weather is better, obviously haven't recently with all the frost and deep mud.