Agreeing to hack DD’s pony after maybe one glass of wine too many

[Christmasbaubleswithtinselon]

No sure what the point of this post is but my DH doesn’t understand so sharing here 😬

I have a love/terrified relationship with riding. I had my own as a teen and absolutely adore the animals. But my confidence is shot now after too many bolting instances. I’ve had lessons over the years but Covid came so I stopped and now I’m too scared to try again.

My young DD has a new pony who is a 17 year old NFP and so far not put a hoof wrong is lessons. He needs to get out and about though so while she’s at school I’ve arranged to go on a hack on him with an instructor. I’d had a few glasses of wine and felt brave last night. Now I’m thinking what have I done! We’re only planning to walk but I’m thinking I could ask her to lead me but is that embarrassing?

I desperately want to enjoy riding again. I just can’t get past these nerves. Any suggestions (bar more drinking!) to calm me down?

Sorry, but that did make me laugh. Its the sort of thing I'd do!

To lessen the worry, can you get the instructor to hack out the pony first, on his own, to find out how he behaves while hacking out? If it's ok on its own then hacking out with a companion should be fine. It's a great idea to go out with the instructor - maybe if they are riding a very safe horse you could swap if you get worried? Or you could start on the safe horse?

Start with a short hack and build up. It'll be fine (and fun!)

Oh bless you, please don't panic, tell the instructor that you are really nervous and she will help.

Is she riding or walking? If she's walking she can carry a leadrope in case although I am sure it won't be necessary. Even if the pony is nervous he will gain a lot of confidence from someone walking ahead or by him.

No shame in nerves and no shame in wearing a body protector if that makes you feel better or taking a squirt of rescue remedy before you go.

TBH a nip of port is an option too. Works on the hunting field!

Good luck!

My top tip is remember to breathe!! If you relax into the saddle you’ll be fine 👍🏻

I think I would go right back to basics here op. Go and take some lessons where your instructor works or at any BHS approved school. Have a ride in the school on a safe and steady riding school horse. Sign up to a series of lessons to get you to the point where you feel more confident.

Your dd's NFP sounds lovely but just BC he is good in lessons, doesn't mean he is bombproof out hacking, especially if he hasn't been hacked for a while. Perhaps get a confident, experienced rider to take him out a few times with other horses and try him out riding with other horses first, then hacking alone. Hacking can be quite testing nowadays if you have to go on public roads. And the unexpected can always happen.

This may sound like overkill but I have an amazing instructor who is a massively skilled and experienced rider and horse handler. Even he never gets on to a horse when he isn't absolutely sure of it's capabilities in a situation where the horse hasn't been tested. He says so many accidents can be prevented if people put in the proper prep work in advance rather than just "hoping" everything will be ok. Even then, the unpredictable can happen, but at least you are prepared for it.

Oh dear, this made me laugh and also brought back the memory of having had a glass too many and agreeing to do a bloody bungee jump!

Im sure you'll be fine with the instructor and I wouldn't hesitate to ask to be on a lead rein.

Thanks so much for making me feel better. There’s some brilliant advice here. I think you’re right, I think we both might lead him out or if she’s happy, she could ride him. Hacking is off road so that takes some stress out - it’s all the bloody scenarios I have going around my head. What happens if a pheasant jumps out of the hedge (😠) etc. I think slow steeps and an honest conversation with my instructor are needed.

PS there is not enough wine in the world to get me to agree to a bungee jump @Newwardrobe ! Did you go through with it?

Few glasses before you set off? Is there a legal limit for being in charge of a horse?

If you’re really nervous and the pony hasn’t done much hacking since you got him I really wouldn’t. He might need a bit of confidence from you which he’s not going to get if you’re tense and nervous.
I ride a gelding for a client who is pretty sensible in the school, occasionally can have a gawp in really bad weather but nothing nasty. Everything is terrifying for him out hacking.
Most horses are generally a bit more forward out hacking, if nothing else because not having to turn 90 degrees every 40 meters makes life easier for them, not necessarily because they got excited it’s just easier work.

Just be honest and said you’ve given it some
thought and your nerves aren’t up to it.

Having been put off by a similar experience and also wanting so much to enjoy riding again, I started by having someone walk at the horse’s head. Have them take a hat with them so if you want to get off they can jump on and take over. It doesn’t need to be a big deal :) I think there must be a few of us with similar experiences and it’s best to just be upfront I’ve always found.

@Christmasbaubleswithtinselon I did go through with it! Never again 🤣

Well I went! He was very looky and trying to spin to look at everything (tracks not roads). I rode for a bit and then walked while the instructor taught me some really useful ground work lessons to get him listening more.

Were going to do some long lining and get him out regularly to get him used to it. He was great on the way home although I was still being led. Small steps but very positive. Thanks for your advice all.

I actually thought you meant you’d decided to go hacking after a glass too many, which is pleasantly grown up thelwell..

@Luredbyapomegranate I love the idea of a grown up version of Thelwell! 😆 maybe I need to put a hip flask on my Christmas list.

Nope! Especially not if off road.

On the road there are some actions the police can take but they can't breath test so you have to be pretty much paralytic before they care. Plenty of people ride when quite tipsy.

That sounds really positive, well done!

Don't do it. My dds NFP spooked sideways, panicked and ran into a car that we didn't see. I'd never do it again (more than happy to ride in a school!)