Possible for adult and young child to share pony/horse?

[Ithinkitsenoughnow]

Hi guys - wanted a bit of advice please! I’ve been riding my whole life but haven’t had my own horse for about 10 years. I’ve been riding my mother’s and had a few shares.

my eldest son is 4 and has been riding for 2 years at a riding school. He has younger brothers and my plan was to buy something next year when my youngest starts nursery, when I have more time, for me.

is there a way to buy something I can ride and enjoy that my son (and potentially others as they get older) could ride in a few years when he gets better? I feel a bit selfish but i don’t really want to buy a pony just for him/them so I’m spending the money and time on something I can’t also ride/he could decide tomorrow he doesn’t like it. But seems a shame to buy something they won’t also be able to ride.

all advice welcome please!

It would be very tricky unless you are a particularly small adult and your son is unusually big and strong for his age. Even then, you’d both need very different things from a pony - the type of pony that’s a brilliant lead rein pony is often not great at being a first ridden let alone having the attributes to make an adult’s all-rounder. Unless there’s a typo in your post and you mean your eldest is 14 as opposed to 4??

A nice natured pony/horse of any size can make a lovely lead rein pony for a kid of any age. And if you've had 10 years out of owning, and you're busy with young children, I would go for something absolutely rock solid, calm and kind anyway. I wouldn't think too far beyond that just now.

(but in truth, even an 8yo's legs will barely clear the saddle flaps of an adult saddle, and they will probably struggle to ride effectively)

Also, don't forget the golden rule of horse buying: always buy what you need right now, not what you might need in 2 years' time.

I think it's possible but a rare combination of owner/child/pony for it to work out ideally for everyone in the long term. I'm 5"2 and weigh about 9 stone, my own mare is a chunky cob-cross 13.2hh and really she is too small for me to ride regularly, hence she is on loan to some young teens and I have a 14.2 Connie on loan with me who is a much more suitable size but would be too big and strong for most primary aged kids. And while my mare would plod about on the lead rein occasionally without too much bother she's too hot and sensitive to make a reliable first ridden, don't make the mistake of thinking that just because something is a cobby type it will automatically be quiet and bombproof. The quietest horse on the yard weirdly enough is a 16hh ex racer TB and while he's saintly enough for beginner kids to mooch about on, he wouldn't be ideal as a regular child's ride as he's too tall and their legs don't reach down to the correct place so they'd struggle for balance and proper aids. So unless either you or your son don't want to ride much and are happy with an occasional potter, I would have thought you'd be better off getting a proper kids pony and you stick with your share, or a pony for you that they can ride properly when they're bigger but they have lessons as their main riding for now...

Ok thank you guys - it’s not what I wanted to hear but the truth is the best!! He’s 4 not 14 but I more mean when he’s 6/7 and has a few more years of lessons under his belt. But yes, I can see how I need a minimum of 14h (I am 5’6 but 54kg so relatively light).

so now the dilemma is if I’m selfish and buy something for me, or if I get him something 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hadn’t heard of that but that’s a very sensible saying

I just always see horses and ponies advertised as “family horses” etc

This means generally that it’s got enough about and small enough it for child in their early teens to do PC on and quiet enough for mum to hack in the week. Not literally that granny through to toddler can ride it.
At 5’6 unless you’ve got very short legs you’ll want something bigger than 15hh too, it’s not just weight it’s not being too tall on something and it makes you feel unbalanced. I’d buy something for you now and if your son js still keen in 5 years time review the situation

Ok that makes sense - current horse I’m riding is 16.2 and feels about right.

i am glad I asked! Thanks everyone

I have a 13.2hh pony that can be ridden by adults and children - a true family pony. I am only 5'2 though and she is a very chunky pony so takes up the leg. She is ridden by me during the week and the tiniest of tots (currently on a lead rein) at the weekends. She is an absolute star who loves and takes care with children but is equally a great forward going hack for an adult.

These ponies do exist but are like gold dust and don't change hands often.

Yes I think of a family pony as being a really useful animal, about 14.2hh and sturdy with good bone and takes up the leg well, nicely schooled and quiet enough for a 10 -12 year old child who has graduated from their first ridden to do PC or pop a cross pole or log out hacking, with enough zing and fitness to make a fun hack or light hunter for Mum or older brother/sister (if small and light enough), always being bombproof and having good brakes, suitable to lead a younger child still on their first lead rein pony from on a day out, tolerant of nervous cousins having a sit on and being led up and down the lanes, will stand all day to be hugged and groomed, polite on the ground, happy, a good doer and general all-round family best friend - such animals are of course about as easy to find as the proverbial unicorn's leavings and you should probably start looking now (and saving up your pennies lottery winnings !) to find one when you're ready for him in about 5 years time - but probably not quite what you need right at this moment especially as you're tall and like you say who knows which if any of your kids will still be keen by then. MN has given you permission to be selfish and buy something for yourself for the time being!

@maxelly you don't happen to have one of those in your back pocket going spare do you? I'll swap you for an entirely unsuitable 11.3hh mare, who is far too opinionated for anyone who might be small enough to actually ride her (disclaimer: I would not be held liable for any lead rein related shoulder dislocations 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣)

It can be done, although the kind of pony that you need is a very, very special beast 😀

We bought a mum daughter share for myself and my little girl a few years ago. He's a fairly stocky 14.1, and at the time my daughter was just 6. We would both do different things with him and he loved the variety. He was (and is still) fantastic with her.

The benefits to something like this is that you can make sure that the pony keeps well mannered and well schooled. They get lots of attention and get to do lots of different things. The downsides are that you do, eventually, lose your pony. My daughter quickly progressed to wanting to jump the same height as me, ride the same dressage test etc so we've now had to get another horse (supposedly for me but she rides her too!) The other downside is that they can't tack up for a while, as they are just too small!

Ha, I'll swap you one that fully looks the part, 14.2 chunky connie with a kind eye, 22 years old but missed the memo that he's meant to be winding down towards retirement, sadly the second he spies jumps the nice safe bombproof illusion is shattered and he charges around in a fashion described by a visiting rather eminent person to our yard this week somewhat euphemistically as 'quite jolly' 😂and barging through anything blocking his path, poles (who bothers lifting their feet up for 60cm anyway!), small children, spectators, visiting eminent persons and/or my dignity, take your choice

I have a 14hh pony (cobx) who comfortably takes me as a small adult and who I enjoy riding. Theoretically, you could put a 6-7yo on him on the lead rein and they could have a little walk about, but it would probably be uncomfortable for them to ride him for long periods. An average size 7yo wouldn't be able to ride him effectively, and he would take the mick. And there's no way a 7yo could really do anything with him on the ground.

I think the sort of paragon of virtue that a 7yo could ride who could also carry you would be pretty rare, let alone one you'd also enjoy riding.

When your son gets to about 10 or 11, this might be a more feasible option. Up until then, if you want to buy a horse sooner, then perhaps consider a share for your son, or he can carry on with riding lessons and you could look for a "family pony" later on.

So it is possible, but probably, realistically, not yet. And I do think there's a difference between using a larger pony for lead rein and e.g. using it for a child who's learning to canter independently (and really needs a pony of the right size).

But it does depend because if your son ends up unusually tall for his age, etc then it might be a possibility. But I think it would likely hold him back as a rider/horseman, compared to being able to ride an appropriately sized pony!