Adult new or returning riders up for a chat?

[Hereforthedramaz]

I have recently returned to riding after a very long gap.

I was a very casual rider as an early teen, happy hacking on plodding ponies rather than technical riding. I am thoroughly enjoying having proper lessons now.

I thought it might be nice to chat with other newbies or returners, all non-horsey people in my life and there is only so much they want to talk about it!!!

Also the stables I'm going to is so lovely and welcoming but, in their own words, aimed almost entirely at 8-12 year olds so it would be nice to talk to some adults!

@Pleasedontdothat @Greenfairydust thankyou both, I have a lesson booked for Saturday and a 2-hour hack for Easter Sunday so hoping they go well and get my confidence back.

That sounds fantastic, what a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday!

I hope it does the trick and makes you feel better in the saddle

@Allthegoodnamestakken Have fun!

Proud of myself and my riding school cob today. We jumped a tiny cross pole from a canter. Where do I sign up for the next Olympics?

Can I join?
I started riding about 5 months ago at the riding school my daughter goes to…at 40 years old. I’d wanted to do it since childhood but was never allowed to as my mum thought it was dangerous (more on this later).

For the first couple of months I did really well, trotting nicely, confidence high, I even went on a couple of hacks. Then I fell off in the school - the pony I was riding jumped into canter (I’d never cantered) and I fell off sideways. I got back on, ego a bit bruised but I was ok. Then a pony took off with my on a hack…it was my fault…I was nervous and when I’m nervous it seems I give horses the signal to go faster.

My confidence has been in shatters since. I could barely walk without being on lead rein. The instructors have been so lovely and patient and I have now managed to get back to trot without being led, but I just have a moment when riding where my brain just tells me I’m not in control, I then tense and lean forward which in turn makes my riding very bad then I’m back to square one.

I think part of my problem is that my mum was very very risk adverse with me as a child. I wasn’t allowed roller skates, to ride a bike on the road, to horse ride so I never learnt to measure risk.

I really want this to work, but I’m worried it’s just not for me.

God, that was long! Apologies!

@CJCreggsGoldfish hello and welcome. I can totally empathise with you. Well done learning at 40. Learning as an adult is not easy and i recognise everything you say! I started to learn at 47 and I’m terrible by most riders standards 🤣 I manage a passable walk and trot and worked through my fear of fast trots!! I’ve been off twice when the horse spooked - my seat cannot manage a sideways dart!! Learning to canter though has been beaten by my nerves and I’m currently on the bench. If the horse is co-operative I can direct it. If it is stubborn or on a lazy day or just wants to do it’s own thing I am way out of my league.

I just feel totally out of control and fear falling and hurting myself. I’ve had a few canter lessons and I do think with perseverance and more lessons taking it slowly I could get there. But… that’s just not affordable. I dropped off the adult beginner group lesson I was on and 30 mins privates are £50+ so just not a luxury I can afford.

My DS also rides he’s 12 so I’m keeping him going but my heart is frequently in my mouth and I’m holding my breath on group lessons as the ponies have been so naughty and erratic this winter.

Sorry my point is not to drag you down with my challenges but to say it is absolutely not easy but if you want to do it and enjoy it keep going. Lots of people on here ride through nerves. I would but my finances just won’t allow right now.

Alas my riding will be bomb proof follow the leader pony treks from now on I think.

let us know how you get on.

@Tupperwarelid Can I sign up for the Olympics with you? I also did some jumping today.

Private lesson first thing this morning went much better, I did an hour slot instead of my usual 30 minute one and we spent the first 30 minutes working on everything I was getting frustrated with last week and then the instructor decided that was enough serious for one week and we did some jumping. It was exactly what I needed to feel good about riding again.
My legs are already aching so god help me after tomorrow's hack but DH has to work and we are 4000 miles from family so it beats sitting at home by myself.

@CJCreggsGoldfish @cakeforme props to you both for learning as adults it has been hard enough for me to relearn after a 10-year break so I can only imagine how difficult starting from scratch is. Keep going I am sure you will both get there!

@CJCreggsGoldfish

I am also often really fearful /fear being out of control when riding. Same tendency to lean forward when the fear kicks in which of course puts you in a more vulnerable/less balanced position.

A couple of instructors have pointed out that me being nervous makes the horse nervous! which makes complete sense.

My first canter was also not planned...my horse took off in a canter in the middle of an outdoor group lesson as we were trotting.

In my last lesson the ''bombproof horse'' spooked in a corner, jumped side- ways and took off for a bit. Pulled a muscle in my shoulder controlling him.

I also had a fearful/rather paranoid parent so never did a single sport-related activity as a kid. I had never quite related that to my current horse-riding experience so it was really interesting to read your comment.

Thank you, you’re all so kind!

@cakeforme i think you’re right about learning to canter. It’s what I’m afraid of as it feels out of control so actually learning to do it will give me some control back (I think). Well done for persevering though. Like you, I’m thinking of ditching the group lesson to take the pressure off and having private instead - fortunately my riding schools cheaper than yours. I couldn’t afford £50.

@Allthegoodnamestakken well
done on your jumping. I really do hope I get there…I can be pretty stubborn when I want to be!

@Greenfairydust i absolutely make the horse nervous! My favourite to ride is a 15.3 cob who plods around and isn’t bothered by my nerves. It’s those ‘bombproof’ horses that always get you…they lull you into a false sense of security then bam! You’re on the floor! I think I definitely missed out the ‘learning my limits’ part of my childhood due to my mums cautiousness - this hasn’t bothered my sister who doesn’t care for more than a nice walk but I’ve also tried my hand at ice skating and snowboarding as an adult and feel my fearfulness held me back in both. I’m determined to crack this one though…maybe a whisky before the lesson might help!

@CJCreggsGoldfish and @Greenfairydust props to both of you for taking up riding later in life. Trust me that nerves are part and parcel of riding, it is learning how to harness them or not let them take over that is the key (also vvv difficult to do). This is why I say start kids off as early as possible (DD was 3) so they learn that falling off isn't scary and also kids bounce so tend not to get hurt as bad.
Karl Greenwood does excellent articles etc about nerves and dealing with them, would highly recommend you search for him on Facebook and see what he has to say.

I have a very quick question and Im looking for feedback. I’ve gone back to individual lessons with my instructor as I feel like I learn more on a one to one basis . On previous private lessons it’s just been me and the instructor in the school but now there is another lesson going on at the same time as mine . Is this still classed as a private lesson ? Am I just overthinking this ? It’s only happened on the last 2 lessons .

@Lovelycupofcoffee hi. Hi at the riding school I use sometimes the large indoor arena is split in two with a lesson in each half. Each rider has an instructor so both are privates. It’s not great Sharing the arena but doable. Is it that set up you refer to or that the instructor is teaching more than one person?

Hi where I ride the private lesson means you are the only one being taught by the instructor but might be sharing the school with another instructor/lesson.

So I have one instructor and then the other person has a separate one. It used to be just me . I think they are doing it like this as they are so busy and have lots of new people starting .

Thanks @twistyizzy! You’re right, it’s absolutely about channelling the nerves rather than letting them control. I’ll look up Karl Greenwood.

I had a group lesson on Saturday - very nearly cancelled but I actually loved it. We worked on leg aids so it was a slower paced lesson but gave me control which is what I need. I came away smiling.

Hello everyone, I have been reading through your messages and thought I would say hi.
I had some riding lessons when I was a child around 20 years ago but in the last month I have started lessons again. I am absolutely loving it and I am getting into the bad habit of looking at horse for sale/loan ads so this might become a very expensive hobby!

I was thinking of buying my own riding hat as I have been borrowing the stables but would really like one of my own. I know it's best to go to a shop and get it fitted but any brand recommendations?

@ErrolFinn welcome and I like your style- straight to the loans and shares before the hat 🤣

I bought a child’s hat (large enough and fitted of course) as cheaper but that might not be right given you’ve a longer term loan vision!!

Happy riding!

Hi @ErrolFinn! I have a Champion which seems fairly reasonable. At our riding school Charles Owen is also popular but is a bit dearer.

@ErrolFinn whichever brand fits you best. They all fit differently and are slightly different shapes hence why it is important to get one fitted properly. For example the only one that fits me correctly is a Champion kids hat 🤣.

Hi @ErrolFinn people seem to have either a Charles Owen shaped head or a Champion shaped head - I’ve got a junior (😳) Champion skull cap which is the one that fitted me best - and was quite a bit cheaper than the adult version. Unless you’re planning to be a dressage diva then a skull cap with hat silk will work for most situations. You can spend an absolute fortune on hats but as long as they comply with the latest safety regulations you’ll be fine without taking out a second mortgage.

@ErrolFinn
I went to have one fitted but they were not happy with any of the fits so I didn't get one.

Instead I bought a John Whitaker adjustable one online. It still meets the requirements at my school (which I assume are standard).

It was about £70 I think

@Pleasedontdothat I also have a champion junior which surprised my as I didn't think I had a particularly small head but I wasn't complaining about the savings 😂
I had a lovely chilled Easter hack with a nice group of people, a good gallop along across a field but no dramatics.
@Lovelycupofcoffee my school does similar, one instructor per horse is a private lessons but sometimes others will be in the school, usually either someone riding a loan or their own horse without and instructor or a child on the lead rein with an instructor leading.

How’s everyone doing? I’ve changed my private lesson to a hack and kept my group lesson which I was seriously considering giving up…this approach seems to be working and my confidence has improved.

I’ve been really worried about something going wrong and ending up on the floor again. Yesterday, the horse in front started moving backwards into my horse (I think the rider was pulling too hard on the reins) I did have a mild panic, but resisted pulling hard on my reins or leaning forward which I previously would have done, instead I just kept thinking ‘heels down, heels down’ and sat my horse turning and a tiny rear!! It felt like a massive step forward.

CJCreggsGoldfish well done yesterday! I've been riding nearly 30 years and I'm not a confident rider at all. It amazes me how near the surface the fear is, but I love it too much to give up. I think hacking put will help improve your confidence greatly.

Hello - ticking over here - I had a hack today on a very ‘looky’ pony - ‘oh, there’s a dog’, ‘omg who put that daffodil there’, do I really have to go past that horse box’ - so there was quite a lot of ‘on you go and don’t be so silly’ a couple of mini sideways spooks but nothing alarming. I actually managed a teeny bit of canter the other day and felt more frustrated that the pony I was on is not very balanced so his back legs weren’t really matching his front legs. I think I’m going to need to go to another place where the horses are a bit better schooled as it’s quite hard to improve my riding. Still looking out for my own but there’s very little choice out there at the moment - anything good gets snapped up
within days of being advertised and while I’m reasonably flexible with work I can’t just drop
everything and drive four hours for a viewing 😕