DD losing interest

[mumontherun14]

Hi . We have had D horse for 2 years and bought him as DD ((15) was keen on jumping & competing after her having a horse on loan for 18 months & getting regular lessons etc . She’s been riding since she was 8. He is a lovely boy an ISH we know all his history and was owned by a friend of ours but can be quirky but seemed ideal for her. She was out last year regularly at camps pony club comps etc and was enjoying him. Occasionally he would throw a stop in & she came off which did dent her confidence a bit but she always persevered.

Then last year he had to get a tooth out & was off work for a bit. Then we moved yards to lovely yard nearer us with better field situation which is adults only & seems to really suit him. We had to do a quarantine period in January and then weather was bad & yard only has an outdoor so he was out of work again.

DD then took Covid in March & was quite ill with it and now has long Covid symptoms. Her energy levels are low & she is on inhalers. She also had to go straight into exam period in school in May after a month off which was tough. She has been riding him maybe once a week just in the school.

However she is definitely feeling a lot better than she was before but she is now making plans a lot to go out with friends, to concerts trips out shopping parties etc & while she will go up every day and muck out her heart just doesn’t seem to be in it as much to do much more with him. I think maybe she is missing the buzz & Company of her friends at the previous yard as this one is a lot quieter.

I am not really from a horsey background although I do love Dhorse very much & have covered all the chores turn out etc for her in the winter & while she was at school/ill as it’s DIY yard with no assistance. But I have a busy full time home based job and I look after my elderly day who doesn’t keep well so can be quite stressful trying to fit it all in and do the right thing by everyone.

So we have recently got a sharer to help a lovely older local girl who is now riding him 3 times a week. So far so good.

Dhorse is 18 but is a great sports horse when he is fit who could easily be out competing for another few years. I just feel a bit unsure I suppose if we are really doing the best by him. DD is adamant she never wants to sell him and he will retire with us which I do agree with but I just feel she is putting a lot of the commitment onto me especially at weekends if she goes out. The next few years I know are going to be worse for her with exams and university looming. I know she does hope to get back into riding more but I am unsure of whether it’s the lasting effects from Covid that are affecting her or whether she is just getting to a stage in life where other interests take over. This has always been a huge passion for her at one point she had the 2 horses at same time & was riding both 3 times a week.

Any advice welcome from anyone who gone through similar? He is a happy lad enjoying a nice chilled time in his summer field with plenty of friends so maybe that’s ok & I’m just overthinking.

At 18 with your DD off to uni in three years the timing probably works quite well. Would your sharer compete him?

Yeah I think she would. She has competed before and brought horses back into work. He has competed at BSJA before up to 1m. And evented at BE 80. He has a fab scopey jump when fully fit but can throw a stop in if not ridden into jump really confidently. Think that did put DD off a bit at times.

If you think he “needs” to be out and about maybe mention her doing some RC stuff with him while DD decides if she wants to carry on?

Yes no horse 'needs' or 'deserves' to compete, personally I think most competitive activities are mainly for the benefit of the rider. Some horses are a nightmare when not kept in hard work and with a job to do I guess but that doesn't sound the case for your boy. Particularly as he's started stopping at jumps unless ridden forcefully, I'd take that as a sign he's actually ready for a slower pace... If the current arrangement is working for you and him why change it for the sake of it?

However wrt all the other pressures and priorities you and your DD have on, I wonder if your sharer would be interested on taking on more, maybe have him on full loan? Even better if she would be ok with the arrangement flipping and she is mainly responsible for his care and riding/exercise but your DD could continue to ride and do his jobs once or twice a week or so? You may find once the pressure is off she rediscovers the love of it- but long term most teens even very keen ones can't manage their own horse through the uni and early working years so you probably need in the longer term to think about retirement plans for him anyway?

I do agree @maxelly i know a lot of people saying they don’t know they are showjumpers etc but I’ve known a lot of horses really thrive on completing/getting out to clinics etc. I had a mare that could be an absolute weapon if she was only ridden at home. so I guess it depends on the horse and what you think is best for him. And if he “needs’ to be out I’d find a rider that can take him.

Thanks I don’t think he “needs” to be out at all but I do think he needs ridden regularly otherwise he gets a bit feral & would act up throw a buck etc for either of them .As I said im no experienced expert but do feel
he is more settled when in regular work & that’s what he has been missing. To be honest I’m not missing the long days & loading stresses of the competition’s so I’m quite happy if he doesn’t do anything . Just want to make sure we are doing right by him. We’ve got his old owner out in a few weeks for a lesson (she events and teaches) so she’ll keep us right xx

How about a second sharer. Do no harm for a horse who thrives being in work. Help you with the chores and financially too. One of the ponies at our yard needs hard work. He became very depressed when out of work and ended up with ulcers. He now has like 5 or 6 sharers and is sometimes even ridden twice a day and is positively thriving again. Not that I'd want that many did my horse but 2 is certainly ok if they are both decent riders

I think that ensuring your daughter's horse is exercised regularly by competent, kind riders will keep him comfortable and safe for the time being.
Is he seen on a regular basis by the equine vet, dentist and farrier?

@Astrak Yes he is . He actually had a tooth out last year in vet hospital so is on 6 monthly visits now for dentist. I am fine with all his care it’s just I am not a rider, DD was actually up riding him yesterday & was in good spirits so it’s maybe just been a blip. We have had a good talk about it again yesterday & think it’s just the lure of going out with friends can be more exciting sometimes. Now our schools are off she is feeling bit better for going up & the sharer is definitely a big help. We talked about a 2nd sharer & while not ready for that at the moment as it’s her school holidays it’s definitely another idea to think about xx

I think it may be the grown-up yard that is making riding less fun. I completely see how a grown-up yard is usually better for the horse, but it's less fun for teens. My daughter's yard is her place to socialise with friends, so she goes there every day after school even when she's not riding. On weekends, she spends all day there. It's the hang-out place. One of her friends moved to a yard that is absolutely amazing for the horse but there are mainly grown-ups and it's less fun. I gave my daughter the option to move there, but she would hate it. But if your horse is very happy at the yard, your sharer solution sounds the best one.