I am so sorry to hear about your DD's fall and I hope she is on the mend. Falling off is a bit like childbirth - every one has a story to tell!

My DD had a fall the last time she went riding (about four years ago). Nothing was broken, just dented pride. She did get back on, walked around the arena, but did not want to go again. I didn't push her to ride, and it has only been recently she has made murmurings about starting riding again.

Would it help your DD if you suggested helping out at the stables (if this is possible) to do the non-riding stuff? This may help get your DD's confidence back.

To be honest, if she really doesn't want to ride, I would leave her for a while, and she may well get the yearning to re-start at some point.

Echoing all of this. If she's still wanting to maintain an interest, then maybe she can find some yard work? Just to keep her hand in. It may encourage her to get back in the saddle at some point.

That's such bad luck to have hurt herself badly on her first fall. Did she have a regular instructor? I'd suggest she has a chat with them or whomever runs the stables and they should hopefully be able to guide her towards having very staid 'safe' lessons whilst she gets her confidence back. Please do tell her that the 'stories' tend to be very much exaggerated and that nobody tells the stories where they just bounced and got back on!

Also, does she like helping and looking after the ponies? If she does then could she go to the stables to help with the day to day stuff so she's just hanging around them and getting her horsey fix whilst she getting her riding mojo back?

I'm echoing everyone else here but I had a nasty fall at a similar age and didn't want to ride again. The yard owner said I could just go and help at weekends as I still loved horses and said there was nothing wrong with not riding if I didn't want to. I think I lasted about 3 weeks before I got on a pony on a lead rein and started riding again!

I fell off a pony in my very first lesson (on a lead reign) and broke my arm! So I completely understand your daughter. I never took up riding, but my daughter is crazy about it and despite countless falls over the years - she still loves it and dreams of a SJ career (which is nuts 😬). She had a nasty fall once just after lockdown when a pony suddenly went crazy and bucked her off against the area wall. She hurt her coccyx and was in a huge amount of pain and also lost her confidence. It took a few months of very gentle riding (mainly walk/trot) for her to get her mojo back, but now it's totally forgotten and she rides every day. Your daughter might just need some time. I would also echo volunteering at the yard.

arena wall*

The thing is with horses is fundamentally it is an incredibly dangerous sport – hence everyone having a story to tell.

I myself consider myself fairly lucky in the injury department, and have had more than one emergency CT scan, but I know people who have been paralysed, and unfortunately I know more than one person who has been killed. Most know its dangerous, but love it so much the reward outweighs the risk, and where they draw the line differs. I know people who no longer ride but breed and show native breeds in hand, or breed sport horses that the sell at 2 and will never ride. I know people in their 70s who still hunt several times a season and team chase… the line is different for everyone.

I grew up with horses and horsey parents, I’ve fallen off about eleventytrillion times, I’ve had lulls in confidence but I’ve never wanted to stop riding, my sister fractured her hand when she was ten and that was it and she never got back on. If you are scared of it it’s really really miserable.

Pretending its not dangerous isn’t helpful and I think creates more of a shock when things go wrong.

It sounds like she has had a really nasty and painful injury and that making her rethink if she wants to ride is normal.

If she doesn’t want to go back I’d personally not hammer the point – I’d talk to her and talk through her feelings however, don’t tell her she wont fall off or hurt herself again, you cant promise that, and fundamentally if she keeps riding, at some point she probably will.

Maybe see if going to the yard and watching a friend ride, grooming one of the ponies, or going to a show (we are in the middle of the busy season so there will be loads on) appeals. But I’d offer it once in passing, make it clear its on the table but not pester about it. But if she wants to do it I’m sure she’ll ask. Just make it clear to her if she wants to she can and leave it for her to decide.

If she wants to be around horses and not ride there are plenty of options – it might be hard to find somewhere these days but learning to drive a pony and trap, helping out on the yard, or even just going to watch a few shows a year for now?

@pastaandpesto have you considered having her do a session or two with a sports psychologist? Their scope of practice includes how to get past an injury or trauma in sport.

I've used one to help get past a similar traumatic injury from a (non-riding) sport. I found it incredibly helpful in dealing with the emotional side of recovery.

OP - it would also help to ask for a different pony and perhaps one that is super gentle/slow. My daughter never rode the pony she had the bad fall on again (it's more a coincidence as we now have our own so she never got to ride the same pony) but it definitely helped get over the scare.

I'm going to go against the grain and say the attitude of riding being an incredibly dangerous sport is what's causing a confidence crisis.
Yes absolutely if you are racing in the grand national or throwing yourself around badminton it would be. But the average leisure rider is fairly unlikely to have a serious life changing injury.
Karl greenwood , an equine confidence guy, has a great saying that if you fell in the shower and broke your arm, your friends wouldn't all be saying , oooh that shower is really dangerous, you should never shower again, whereas horse related it's the opposite. It's worth finding him on Facebook.
I have ridden for over fifty years and my kids rode, one in a fast slightly dangerous sport. He got far more injuries from rugby ! Most of my friends have injured themselves tripping out of lorries or falling over hay bales. I know that's completely anecdotal but it's just trying to reframe the " horses are insanely dangerous" mantra.
But if she doesn't want to do it then equally that's fine too

I actually agree with this. I think if it's on your head that it's incredibly dangerous and you're scared of falling, then you become an anxious rider, which then causes the horse to be anxious as well. The vast majority of falls are complete non-events. Kids fall off horses all the time and just jump back on. It's just bad luck that the OP's daughter got injured on her first fall.

I have owned horses for 40+ yrs and both of my children gave up due to falls . The eldest had been riding since he was about 18 months , very competent and then had an accident with his pony when he was 7 where he got quite a bad arm injury and has not been near a horse since . Daughter rode at riding school from 4 and had 2 non injury falls in canter in consecutive weeks when she was 5 and called it a day - although she is still happy to help on the ground . I had numerous serious falls between 5- 18 , on riding school ponies and my own and the question for me was always how quickly can I get back on and that included an eye injury requiring hospital treatment at 7 , a broken arm at 10 , a fractured skull ( own horse ) at 14 and a back injury at 16 .

DD seems to the the only young rider I know who has absolutely no interest in the mucky side of riding. She loves horses, but her ideal scenario is to have them presented to her fully tacked and then led quietly away at the end of the ride!

Well, unless you're happy to financially support that in the future (keeping a horse in full livery with a groom on hand isn't cheap ), I wouldn't bother encouraging her in this 'hobby' and let it go.

Not necessarily mucking out - but it’s on the ground that you lay the foundations of a bond with a horse, IMO. And when you have a bond, it’s incredibly special. So I would gently encourage her to rethink her aversion to groundwork - grooming a pony can be extremely therapeutic for both human and equine, for example. And it might help her confidence if she feels that she has a bond with a gentle pony, help her feel ready to get back on in time.

Totally agree with this , horses are brilliant for mental health but it’s less about the riding and more about the fact that they make very good listeners .

I think horses are great for mental health, both as animals and because riding is a very sensory experience that encourages you to be in the moment.
I fell off several times riding (I was lucky I didn't really hurt myself) we were always encouraged to get straight back on or as soon as possible.

I would encourage your dd to at least be around horses again for a bit and maybe start very gently to rebuild her confidence. Mostly for the mental health benefits.

I've owned and ridden horses for thirty years and certainly had my share of confidence crises!

My advice would be to go back to basics on the safest pony available. Lessons just in walk and trot (or just walking) at first, and let her build up in her own time. She could even go on the lunge line if that's how she feels safest.

I hope she gets her confidence back soon 🐴

My nasty fall was at about 14 and I never got my confidence back in riding like a used to after that. I continued to ride, but was much more subdued. I have ridden my whole life started before I can remember. But now you wouldn't get me on a horse.
I had a new horse bolt, and buck his way across the green, no saddle or I'd have stayed on, I went under him and was kicked in the head (hat on) and was very bruised but nothing broke. Before that I wanted to be a jockey I was small and thin and a gung ho rider who would try anything. Go easy on her.

I had a fall at a similar age and dislocated my elbow. I didn't want to ride again either but I already had my own pony.
I didn't ride for weeks, until I went on holiday to my grandparents, who also had horses. My grandad asked if I wanted to sit on one of the horses while he led it from the stable to the field, which I did. Then he took me for a 20 min ride.
It was what I needed to get riding again.

I wouldn't push her, but see if she wants to be around horses and go from there.

I stopped riding for four years around that age as I had a fall and didn't want to ride any more. I ended up competing at Horse of the Year Show etc many years later - no one pushed me to ride (the opposite in fact!) so I had to actively decide I wanted to do it, Maybe let her go down to the yard and help out without doing any riding. Sometimes you just need to process the whole thing before making a decision on whether you want to risk it or not. And it is risky - she WILL fall off again at some point.

Even if she doesn't want to do the ground work - could you maybe see if she can go and just spend some time with the horses? I don't know why people are criticising her for that by the way - it's exactly why I don't have my own horse!

Giving them a brush or just feeding her over the fence (obviously with permission) could really help her get her confidence back without getting back on a horse just yet.

A (very experienced) teenager my daughter knows well, who has been competing for years had a horrific fall just a few days ago 😥Her (very experienced) horse jumped out of the arena, bucked her off onto the hard ground and then rolled on top of her. The poor girl had to be taken to hospital by ambulance but is thankfully ok (although still in hospital under observation). This was just during a routine lesson, nowhere new. Completely out of the blue. It really made me think that this is indeed such a dangerous sport.