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The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

I'm only still sharing a horse because I feel sorry for the owner.

7 replies

spuddy56 · 27/04/2022 16:27

I lost my own two horses to colic and another illness a few years ago. I ended up sharing a horse who had quite a tricky reputation but I enjoyed him. I've also ended up being paid to ride a couple of others, all either young or with problems. The share horse has really progressed and I've had a lot of fun and his owner has kindly taken me and about etc. I've also invested a lot of my own money into treatments for him and to be honest would need much more to really make sure he was comfortable (if he was mine it would be ulcer scope, teeth, different farrier etc). His owner struggles with his behaviour on the ground and ridden and had offered him to me but I'm swaying more and more to just buying a horse I want, bred to do what I want and that doesn't come with a load of inherited problems and baggage. The horses I've backed myself have been so pleasant in comparison. I just feel so so guilty at giving up this share, both for the horse and the owner as I know they will be in a tricky situation. But it doesn't move well, is quirky, sharp, difficult and is bigger than what I would want for me. Some of this is down to management which I would change if mine but obviously I cant change height or movement or history. I don't know what to do and they have both been great to me, I feel so guilty, yet in a way they've had me paying when other people pay me. Ive been trying to work out a way out for months. I just want a nice horse that is completely my own.

OP posts:
nearlyspringyay · 27/04/2022 16:28

You have to back out, they're not you're responsibility although I totally get it.

Honeyroar · 27/04/2022 16:31

Just be honest. They’ve been lucky to have you. Offer to help find another sharer or help
them sell the horse?

DesignerRecliner · 27/04/2022 16:32

If you're investing that much time and love, it should be in an animal that meets your needs. I would graciously back out of the share and explain you have found another horse who better suits you and your skills, the height thing is easy to 'blame' as it's not changeable

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 27/04/2022 16:32

I completely get it and when I had access to land with my ExMIL did hoard horses I felt a bit sorry for, but hard though it is, don’t get backed into a huge financial commitment because you feel a bit sorry for a shitty owner

something2say · 27/04/2022 16:43

Yes, find a way out. And you never know, she might pass him on to someone experienced who will take really good care of him. Could work out all round...

spuddy56 · 27/04/2022 19:20

Thanks all. Wow the guilt, I just don't understand why I feel so responsible for someone else's problems :(

OP posts:
dogrilla · 29/04/2022 17:56

I shared a horse for about a year longer than I wanted because of the guilt and feeling of obligation. In the end I blamed increasing work hours and lack of time for having to end the arrangement, so it wasn't personal. Have to say, it was such a relief to walk away... You can do it!

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