Fun Ride Etiquette

[ChampagneJustBecause]

I did a fun ride with 3 ‘friends’ on the BH Monday - this is only my 4th time and the other times it’s just been me and 1 friend.

When it’s just been 2 of us, we spent the whole ride together, beginning to end. Canters were asked, and agreed (or not agreed) at each opportunity, jumps discussed and either taken or skipped - very civilised and enjoyable for both.

As a group of 4 - the front 2 riders just bombed off jumping everything they could, sometimes multiple times, leaving me and the other lady on prancing, rearing horses, who ultimately bolted after them - This went on for 12 miles. They occasionally waited, but generally were focused on enjoying their day. All other groups seemed to stay together - we were strung right out, sometimes several hundred metres apart where us 2 none jumpers had to go and find a non jumping route.
We had agreed beforehand to take it steady. Was my version of ‘steady’ just different to theirs ? What is the etiquette for a fun ride in your opinion/experience?!

You agreed to take it steady, and they didn't. I would be quietly annoyed with them, and I doubt I'd agree to head out with them again.

@MangoBiscuit definitely never going with them again !

Very bad riding etiquette. I would never go with them again.

Your skill levels are mismatched

id find your ride far too pedestrian
perhaps I’d find theirs too full on, but it’s ok to not want to ride with them again.

The daft thing is that you put up with it for so long!

you ought to have suggested that they ride on, do their thing and you’d meet up afterwards

This is why I HATE fun rides. This has been my experience of every single one. Sorry you had a rubbish time. Four is quite a big group to manage, even if two of you aren't knobs.
I'm a kill joy though, I don't even really like xc schooling with other people.

They behaved badly, but equally I can see why they wanted to "make the most of it" and do all the canters and jumps they possibly good.

Next time, stick with people who are at the same skill level as you to prevent people getting frustrated.

This, neither your way nor their way was wrong per se but when it became apparent they wanted to go much quicker than you the sensible thing for everyone's enjoyment was to let the faster pair go well ahead until out of sight and let the slower pair go on in their own time without repeatedly chasing their mates and seeing them disappear over the horizon which would send most horses a bit loopy. Def quite rude of them to have shot off without at least an 'OK to go?' first though, its a fun ride not a team chase! Have to say I've always found this kind of "fun" ride quite stressful unless unusually quiet, when you want to go fast there's always someone ahead blocking your way or a child on the lead rein round every corner, when you want to go steady someone overtakes you every 5 mins or flies past out of control, even on my very chilled out one it shreds my nerves and for a green horse or nervous rider or simply a more relaxing experience I'd always go for a private farm ride or XC hire with a very reliable companion...

This is why I avoid fun rides. It's not necessarily about skill levels, it's about what you enjoy. In my 20s, galloping around and jumping, dealing with a highly excited/ stressed horse was all part of the 'fun'. 25 years later it's not. I've got the skills to do it, but it stresses me and I know that an extended time off in plaster would cost me dearly.

They were rude OP but I agree with others - I'd have told the faster two to go on and we'd meet them back at the lorry. But my problem with 'fun' rides is that it's not just who you go with, it's everyone else around you.

Your skill levels are mismatched

Next time, stick with people who are at the same skill level as you to prevent people getting frustrated.

I think you are both confusing ‘skill levels’ with ‘people who ride like knobs.’ I like to think my skill levels are fairly decent (and have sufficient wins at national level to show for it) but that doesn’t mean I would like to do a fun ride with erratic riders who don’t consider the group they are with. The fact that OP mentions they jumped some jumps multiple times suggests her companions had a poor grasp of fun ride etiquette, whatever their riding skills might be. Everyone knows you jump each obstacle once then move onto the next one.

I’m back to using fun rides as part of my training this year - they are both fun and a training activity my kids can tag along with, and a good way of riding a set distance over pre-screened terrain. I’ll be aiming to motor on - trying to stick to a calculated speed of between 10-15 kph so cantering will be necessary in order to balance out the bits where I’ll be walking downhill. I won’t ride like a knob though and upset other ride-goer’s horses.

I think you are both confusing ‘skill levels’ with ‘people who ride like knobs.’

You can be both more skilled and a knob at the same time

They were clearly more confident riders and wanted to do the "fun" stuff - that doesn't mean they didn't go about it in a stupid way but equally I can get the frustration if the other two riders just wanted to plod along in walk (not saying that's the case, it's just an example).

When it became clear the aims and skill-sets didn't match, they should have agreed to split into pairs and meet somewhere for lunch or whatever so everyone got to do what they wanted.

Nope. Still think you are confused about the meaning of ‘skill set.’

I’ve just spent a weekend at an international rider development training camp. The most skilled (imo) rider there is known for starting out her new horses in a walk at everything, for much longer than many people would keep them in a walk at. She would think nothing of walking the whole way round every fun ride for a year on a new horse. She is also capable of completing a 10 mile fun ride and all the jumps without breaking out of canter on her experienced horse.

I would say aims are much more relevant. Saying someone who doesn’t want to jump fences multiple times and hood around like a nutter is the less skilled rider is not entirely a given. I’ve seen this sort of rider - usually screeching groups of giggling but clueless girls who launch their horses at high speed all over the place without regard for other participants - I would not put them in the ‘more skilled’ bracket, regardless of how fast they are going. It could just be they have no brakes and that doesn’t bother them.

I agree @backinthebox Some of the easiest horses I ride are like that because someone spent a lot of time with them when they were starting out doing a lot of walking. They're calm in most situations now. I was out on one the other day when a herd of cattle decided to get up from snooze position and chase us. He remained calmly walking, with about 20 cows right up behind him. Starting and continuing a horse like that takes a lot of skill and nerve. Hooning around can take some skill, but also may just be a lack of knowledge and sense.

Yes I am experienced and fairly competent- I was on a young, green horse hence why I was specific beforehand that I’d need to take it steady and this is what they agreed.

I feel that even if our versions of ‘steady’ were different, they should still have made sure we all stayed safe. I’ve hacked out with much lower abilities/competency (inadvertently) than myself and had to accept the situation and prioritised their needs - All be it whilst muttering under my breath and rolling my eyes that I’d never go with then again.

Fun rides are the work of the devil. They are full of people with absolutely no concern for those about them. I've seen some appalling behaviour - groups of riders galloping past others in confined spaces, lots of upset horses and general carnage - and I've also seen people shouting at others for having the audacity to overtake their (under control) horse at all. It does seem to bring out the crazy in people.

I like going out galloping and jumping as much as the next person, but it's courtesy to check everyone in your group is on the same wavelength and not leave them struggling in your wake. I do have friends with whom I'd ride like the OP's companions, without bothering to ask if they're up for a gallop or a jump, but that's only because we have a long history of fast hacks and they'd soon speak up if circumstances change. You don't do it with people you don't know well, and with whom you've agreed to go steady.

For safety you generally ride at the pace of weakest rider, and if you don't want to do that you go as a separate group.
Very poor form on their part. They should be ashamed of themselves.

I'm sure you will anyway, but my advice would be stick with going in a pair with your sensible friend