Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Original poster

How to deal with kids and death of pony.

46 replies

Oogabooga123 · 02/02/2022 20:34

Hi all.

I have 2 DDs 10 and 7. They have an aged pony, sadly we’ve had to make the decision that his quality of life is poor and he is being put to sleep tomorrow.

The question is how do you deal with it with the children. Do you tell them before and let them say goodbye before school tomorrow or tell them after? I’m not sure they will understand as some says he seems like his normal self but other days he goes down to roll and can’t get back up, isn’t keeping any weight on etc etc

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 02/02/2022 22:06

@Oogabooga123 I know exactly what you mean as we had an Irish draught cross that had issues getting up , it was generally every Saturday morning bizarrely , finally one Saturday he really couldn’t be helped and had to be euthanised in his stable . He was the first one that we had lost so had probably let him go on a bit too long .

jevoudrais · 02/02/2022 22:25

I wouldn't take them to say goodbye. Tell them pony isn't very well and the vet is coming to see him if you prefer, but I wouldn't tell them pony is definitely being PTS and to say goodbye. I think that's awful. Someone they love should always be there at the end, but mine would have understood people were upset and I wouldn't have wanted that to cause him to be sad. In reality we don't want our animals to know what is coming, and I really feel like they would if the children went up to say goodbye etc.

I wouldn't lie about what happened.I would be honest. But I think the pressure of saying goodbye is massive and horrible, to be honest. I had my heart dog put to sleep a few weeks ago and thankfully he didn't have a clue. He was sedated from a diagnostic and it was a quick decision. I didn't get to say goodbye to him whilst he was conscious, but equally, he didn't know anything was wrong, and I'd rather it be that way 1000 times over.

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 03/02/2022 12:45

So we took the halfway approach, I told the girls this morning that the vet was coming to see him but that it may not be good news, the girls both wanted to go up and give him a million carrots and cuddles before school.

He passed as peacefully as one can, am hoping they will be ok when I collect them later.

OP posts:
HighlandCowbag · 03/02/2022 13:14

Ahhh mate am sorry, poor you and poor girls. Its fucking awful but in a few weeks when the grief isn't as raw you will feel a huge sense of relief. It's tinged with sadness but the relief will still come.

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 03/02/2022 15:45

Picked them up and many tears were she’d but have both calmed now. I’ve got lots of tail and his door plaque and head collar for them, they are making a plan of what to do with his tail.

The door plaque will go to a special area of the yard where there is nice flowers and benches and the plaques of all the ponies that have passed.

OP posts:
jevoudrais · 03/02/2022 18:09

I'm so sorry OP, what a shit day you've had. I think your approach was perfect. They got to see him and tell him they loved him, but it wasn't as sad and upsetting as it could have been. It will have helped prepare them without them being out in the torturous position of knowing what was definitely happening z

Newfluff · 03/02/2022 18:18

I think you handled this really well op, I am so sorry.

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 03/02/2022 19:37

Honestly the shittest, he was her first pony but also mine (only did riding school as a kid) so the first time we have experienced this.

OP posts:
CountryCob · 04/02/2022 10:07

It is really sad, we did this this week in similar circumstances. I booked in the vet for the next day, brought my daughter that evening to pony to say goodbye and in the morning for a last feed. She hasn’t been to yard since but will on Saturday I think, she is sad but does understand, I think she would see though attempts to cover it up

Pleasedontdothat · 04/02/2022 10:31

Late to this but that sounds like it went as well as it could have in the circumstances. I hope you’re all ok and allowing yourselves to be sad

maxelly · 04/02/2022 10:49

I'm so sorry for your loss but at least it was peaceful and he's pain-free and at peace now Flowers. You've done the right thing but it doesn't make it easier. There's nothing like the loss of your first horse to get you right in the heart, I could still cry thinking about mine and it was an embarrassingly long time ago now. Give your girls lots of hugs over the weekend, I love the sound of your memorial benches, what a lovely idea!

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 04/02/2022 13:22

The benches are lovely, there is a pub type sign that says ‘the rainbow bridge’ and a big planter full of flowers which is covered in door plaques of ponies that have passed, th leg yard is also a riding school so the owner has had many pass in the past 25 years and it’s a lovely place to sit and reflect…. If only I could find his bloody door plaque!!! We took it off when he moved steaks but can’t find it for love nor money!

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 04/02/2022 14:22

My kids have seen several of our animals put to sleep from quite young. Younger than yours. It's always been a good experience really. The vet comes we are there while they are put to sleep. Honestly it's a healing experience.

Please don't leave your pony to die alone without at least some of his human family with him.

Wallywobbles · 04/02/2022 14:25

Sorry read the updates. I'm glad it was ok.

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 04/02/2022 15:21

I certainly would not have let them be there when he passed. Putting horses down is rarely a dignified business and he was put down by bullet as it is quicker than injection and they really didn’t need to see that or him being hoisted into a van.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 04/02/2022 15:22

I was with him up until the last 30 seconds where he was handed to the very kind man who’s job it is to put them down. He prefers owners not to be there at the time as their distress can upset the horses.

OP posts:
Horriblewoman · 04/02/2022 15:24

This might be too late but I still have a horse shoe from my childhood pony (in my 30s now) and that's such a special memory for me.

Newfluff · 04/02/2022 15:39

Ooga ignore Wally.

Wally (apt name) being with a horse when it is PTS is just not comparable dogs and cats, there is nothing good or healing about seeing that for human or horse.

Original poster
Oogabooga123 · 04/02/2022 17:05

We do have 2 shoes nailed into our garden fence he only had 1 set while we had him as he much preferred being barefoot. We are looking at having a keepsake made with his bit and hair. Saw a lovely company on Facebook who make some beautiful things

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 04/02/2022 20:18

I have to disagree a bit with @Newfluff , each to their own but I’ve had 3 horses and 1 pony euthanised by injection and it’s always been no different an experience than having a cat / dog euthanised except on a larger scale . The vet has given them a sedative and then the injection , all of our horses had had anaesthetics in the past and it was literally no different except that they don’t wake up . I’ve stayed with them all , personally I couldn’t have stood with my horses whilst somebody shot them . I’m glad it went ok for you @Oogabooga123 , and I must say the first one is always the most difficult even from the logistics of knowing what you are going to do with the body - we had all of ours cremated at our local pet crematorium .

Newuser82 · 04/02/2022 20:28

I'm sorry for your loss. When my sons pony was pts we got a lovely frame with a photo of them on one side and one of the ponies shoes on the other. We got it from a company called polished memories on Facebook. She does loads of different things. Take care

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread