Horse ownership and pregnancy anxiety

[TashieWoo]

Hi, happy new year to you all.

At 22+6 I’m really struggling with managing my horse who has become fed up with the lack of work (I am long reining & lunging now) and less turnout as the fields are awful. In the last week he has kicked out at me and caught me on the leg (brushed against my bump) and reared up smacking me in the nose with his foot, baby checked both times and is fine thankfully, but I can’t carry on like this so he is being turned away on Monday for the next 6 months. I have had him for 4 years and know him well, but he can be tricky and thrives on a good working routine and strong boundaries which always need to be reaffirmed, and I cannot be the physically and mentally strong owner he needs at the moment.

I’ve just emailed Tommy’s the baby charity for some support, here is a copy of the email:
^I am contacting Tommy’s because my anxiety during my first pregnancy is becoming out of control.
I am 22 weeks now and after two minor accidents in the last week (no impact to my abdomen area and baby was fine when I went to triage both times to check heartbeat) I am terrified of something else happening. I am eliminating the risk on Monday, as I am sending my horse to another home for 6 months, I cannot be the strong owner he needs at the moment and I need to protect the baby. I’m just so scared and think that anything, even if he doesn’t even touch me, will hurt my baby and yet there have been no signs that the baby hasn’t been developing normally etc.
I can’t keep going to triage even though I want to, as I don’t want them to put this on my records. At the moment baby movement is sporadic, and when I can’t feel her I always think the worst, and I’m sure I felt less movement yesterday.
I just don’t know what to do and would really appreciate some help.^

Did anyone else experience this? I am experienced around horses and have owned them for 14 years, but I am also a very anxious person and I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to my baby. I am having intrusive thoughts and I obsessively research the risks of abdominal trauma, even if I haven’t had any (which I haven’t the whole time).

Thanks in advance x

The email was supposed to be in italics - apologies!

I’m 15+4 weeks and have my own horses and work with them so consider myself very competent but even I have started to have slight anxious issues when around them, so try not to put myself in those situations. I’m still managing to ride atm . Your doing the right thing turning him away for 6 months it won’t harm him he will settle into that routine .

It is very hard, I have a pony who was 17 when I was first pregnant and I've known her since a foal, she's hardy and easy and reliable but even I had worries. I loaded her (her only unreliable bit) for the teen who was riding her a week before my first was due and felt very unsafe, even though she was good. Then shortly before I gave up riding during my second pregnancy she stumbled and I had a right jolt, I rode one time after that and really felt like it would be the last time I ever rode, it was so strange. It wasn't, I'm thoroughly enjoying her now! I also had to fence her off from the horses she shared with as I was nervous of getting I'm between them, which I never have been before and am not now.

I think it's normal, especially if you're an anxious person anyway to have pregnancy anxiety about all sorts, and horses thrown into the mix are bound to add to it, especially as non horsey people think they are soooo dangerous.

I think getting help for your anxiety is a good idea - Tommy's are excellent, without them I wouldn't have my second son. They are so supportive but bear in mind non horsey people may not understand your situation or how you've described it. You know you've done the right thing and you need some support with anxiety, whatever has triggered it. Look after yourself, and be kind to yourself, now and postnatally

It sounds as though you are doing the right thing for you and your horse.
I wasn't around horses during pregnancy (had a long gap in my horse owning), but I tripped on the pavement and fell forward straight onto my bump with considerable force at 32 weeks. I got checked out, and had a few Braxton Hicks contractions over the next few days, but then it all settled down again.
Said bump is now a strapping 12 year old boy!
Our bodies are generally very good at protecting our babies, and it sounds as though you are minimising your risks anyway.

Now that he's turned away for 6 months who is looking after him? It sounds as if he doesn't suit being stabled for long periods of time so that's good. I think ideal would be if you didn't have to handle him for now. Have you thought about looking for a competent sharer? Making it clear to them that you won't dump them as soon as you feel able to manage again. It could make your life easier long term when you have your baby.

Hi,

If you are feeling anxious you should self refer to your local NHS IAPT service. In the perinatal period you should be prioritised.

You've don't the right thing turning g him away. I stopped riding at 9 weeks and had mine on full livery with yard owner riding!