Show anxiety tips?

[Ratatwat]

I'm sure this has been done to death, but any tips would be much appreciated. Had my horse 12 years, riding a bit longer, we were both very green and first couple of years were basically terrifying but now bonded and trying loads of new things. He's good as gold in many situations (dream pub hacker, will fall asleep tied up) but can be stubborn/a bit naughty when unsure. My memories of his early years and our bad falls from then still affect me.

I have anxiety in general but it ramps up to 1000 when having to perform under pressure, naturally, and I am admittedly pretty nervous of jumping. My horse isn't a natural jumper, and we are both relatively inexperienced at it (though he is 17 and I am late 20s). We just didn't start seriously learning until really a year ago. I do enjoy it when it's going well but that usually means 'familiar non-spooky fence I already know he will jump and not refuse or run out'. So not show conditions. We have almost no other show experience either. Have done one intro dressage show in the last 8 years, placed 3rd (still didn't sleep at all night before but fear was of humiliating myself and forgetting test, not maiming or killing ourselves).

We have been training very hard and making genuine real progress. We got eliminated from every class at all our first 4 jumping shows since last October (even the 50cm...yes...trotting...) for multiple refusals. I know this is because he gets anxious, and I also get anxious, and then tense and shorten reins and basically we feed off each other.

But we're getting round a proper course of 70-75 with the odd 80cm clear in training, the show on Sunday is at our yard, unaff not a major deal and the first class is only 40cm so I'm hoping I can literally make him step over if I think he's going to stop. If he doesn't refuse or run out, he almost never has a pole down! We practiced intentionally spooky as possible fences last weekend, did run into some issues but I handled it well according to very harsh (but fair) trainer. I'm much more balanced and even when he does a run out or stop I don't go flying off and I get after him much more and anticipate in a good way rather than just clenching with fear.

That said - when it comes to show day, I know I will be literally shaking. I do have anxiety meds but they actually make my short term memory a little bad so remembering the course can be an issue. I have the home field advantage of going the night before to memorise it but they will change it between classes. I did actually do a shot of whisky (or two...) last time and it was the first time we were not eliminated. Didn't go clear in the clear round, but survived, then eight faults (one down, one refusal) in the 60, then eliminated in the 70 but it was our first attempt at 70. Honestly the 8 faults for us was amazing lol.

I really want a clear round this time...even at 40cm. I would die happy with that. Doing 40, 60 and 70. I'm aware of my bad habits (looking down at fence, too tight reins, not putting the leg on when I'm not sure about a fence and letting it make him not sure, letting him tank off after a jump head down on the wrong leg or whatever) but it's all just a blur when I'm that nervous. I can really fix it when my instructor is there shouting at me but she can't be there at all Sunday and she can't help during a class anyway.

I have tried deep breathing, positive visualisation, anxiety drugs, alcohol, tea, telling myself nobody is looking anyway, pretending it's just a lesson...

Any other tips or tricks? My horse obviously also knows something is up, loads of activity, isn't terrible about the atmosphere as he is used to events at the yard but can get strong and then the cycle starts.

TL;DR I'm generally very anxious, particularly about jumping, and even though training has been going great I really don't want to sabotage me and my horse this weekend.

Hiya, sorry to hear about the nerves, I know all about it having really lost my bottle for jumping in the last few years, you seem to be doing all the right things having lots of lessons, doing breathing and visualisation exercises, keeping jumps low so you can trot/walk over if needed etc. The only things that really seem to help me was practice/exposure over a period of time and a shot of brandy or two TBH so I'm not sure how much I can help!

If you are worried about forgetting the course could you brief a friend to stand by the fence and yell 'red', 'oxer', 'crosspole' or whatever at you if you look like you're forgetting the course? I know it's probably technically cheating but you could always ask the organiser in advance and if it's a friendly show I doubt they'll mind, or if they do just enter HC if all you care about is the clear round? I do sing to myself as I go round the course, usually twinkle twinkle little star, a friend told me that's a good rhythm for a forward SJ canter and if you're singing you have to breathe lol, I also sometimes particularly when the jumps are small pretend it's actually a dressage test I'm riding rather than a course so I focus on the lines, turns, maintaining a nice forward pace and don't focus too much on the jumps themselves, bit weird but helped a little bit? If your horse is of the 'over excited and charge off' persuasion (mine are!) would a little half dose of calmer or a calming 'cookie' for him just take the edge off and make him a bit more rideable? Maybe not if you don't normally use them, you don't want to overdo it and have him fall asleep lol but I've used them to good effect before!

Good luck, rooting for you!

Thanks @maxelly, I've never tried calming cookies. Maybe not the time to try at a show, but would be interested. If he does sometimes stop at jumps I thought maybe that's not what I want to do, but then again he does get very excited and difficult to slow down/steer once we get going (I think he does actually like it but he gets overwhelmed and a bit to keen if that makes sense). I like the idea of seeing if someone can shout the course out at me, do think it's cheating but at the lowest level probably not the worst thing. At one of my eliminations I did forget the course and after trotting around looking for jump 6 for ages the announcer took pity and told me it was the red double I was just inexperienced and didn't realise the course would change, and my old trainer actually told me it was unlikely so I hadn't really walked the new course. The singing is a great idea and my new trainer is very insistent that I talk to him the whole way round reassuring him with a low voice saying good boy constantly which does have the side effect of making me breathe.

Show was this morning, I somehow managed to pull off my first clear round(s) ever. I WON the 40cm class and then came third in the 60cm! After that I decided not to compete in the 70cm as it was such a good note to end on and 70cm competition jumps are a stretch for us now (we do train that height but rarely with fillers and spreads) and I didn’t want to sour things by having stops and getting eliminated and undoing all that great progress and good feelings we both had. I am so happy. I definitely cried the moment I landed after the last fence both times and when they announced results and when they gave me my rosettes. What I spent time doing this morning was I listened to a little random pep talk podcast (riding specific) and really just pet and spoke calmly to my horse and said out loud to us both “We CAN do this,” and we had not one issue even in warm up where he would normally refuse and knock my confidence from the start. I feel like we sort of just connected and reassured each other for a solid half hour as I was ready with time to spare, and it was pretty quiet so that helped. And the pressure was off for the second class as I’d already WON the first one so it made things even better. I must have sounded crazy ranting at him all the way around the course but it worked.

Brilliant well done you!

Thanks @Stormyequine - we have dressage and another showjumping competition weekend after next, and I'm feeling good about our progress :) I have entered 50/60/70 and will try the 70 next time if all goes well again.

*@Ratatwat * my dad uses Bach Rescue Remedy before competitions - he highly recommends it! Takes a squirt every half hour for a couple of hours before he gets on the horse then sometimes once hes finished warming up. He says it seems to take the edge of his nerves without making him relax too much (so better than a shot of whisky )

thanks @blobby10 I will try this! my next show is dressage and I'm studying videos of the tests now (I can'd make head or tails of the diagrams) and my only real fear is forgetting the tests, I'm not really as anxious about anything really bad happening as I am with jumping, but I wouldn't want a shot of whisky or anxiety meds as they might make me forget the tests for real!

Ratatwat would it help to have someone 'call' the test for you for the first few times? Then you wouldn't have to worry about forgetting where to go next and its one less thing for the anxiety to cling on to! in the early days I used to call for Dad - didn't work for me as I was listening so hard for the instruction that I forgot to ride properly - and it really helped him.

Really happy to read you have had a good weekend out! Would second trying a calming cookie if you feel he's ever likely to be a bit excitable...they do help and are only mild.

Also some things to think for jumping...you can try a bigger class 'HC' (Hors Concours = non-competitively) at some shows, so you get to go around the course at the end of the class but you're not worrying about faults or timings, you're simply jumping the course in your own time and experiencing jumping the bigger fences away from home. Disadvantage of course is that if you nail it, you will wish you had competed (this happened to DD on Sunday in the 70cm!)! But it's an idea if you want to take away the competition feeling but still see how you handle the higher course away from home.

I also tell DD to talk to her pony ALL THE TIME....so you're not looking crazy ranting away, I can see when DD gets nervous because she goes silent, and I just shout 'talk to her' and then she relaxes again.

Also....and I know there is cost and upheaval to this, but we got DD's pony in May and have been out competing LOADS this summer already...the frequency of our trips means she doesn't seem to feel pressure of one particular show over another. I think if we'd spent all summer planning and prepping for one event then it would have felt much more stressful. For DD, showjumping comps are now just kind of 'what she does at the weekend' so it feels less pressured for her. We're a member of a riding club so in a lot of cases get discounted entries.

Thanks @blobby10 I have the same concern about listening too hard and thinking one step ahead so I think just really, really memorising it is the way to go. I did alright at our show a couple of months ago mainly watching a video to learn it, and prancing around my flat, so when I went to my practice lesson I surprised my instructor by actually knowing it well already.

@Deliaskis thank you, I think it is worth trying a calming cookie, he actually was really brill last weekend but we can lose brakes after a jump just because he seems keen and have trouble with tight turns left anyway so a little bit calmer would be a good thing.

Totally agree with just getting out and doing it more. That's helping us now. I'm really lucky that our yard is host to loads of comps and I did recently join my first riding club. So all my hopes are not pinned to one event. Also part of the benefit of loads of classes on one day (though more courses to learn!).

Excellent reminder about HC too. The one eventer challenge I've done (I think that's right - it was SJ and XC) I rode HC with a friend. But you're totally right I wished I'd competed after! He did a shitty little stop at the first SJ jump, only 60cm, then went clear after that. But we went round XC together and he would always follow his friend so it might not have gone quite so well if we weren't together, hard to say. Did actually stick around and watch the 70cm last weekend after I withdrew and had a little regret because so many people had bad rides and I thought maybe I could have done it after all, wouldn't have been the worst out (some missed jump 10 entirely, why, it was right in the way!) but in the end I had a good experience and ended on a good note.

I think after this weekend (no riding, marathon Sunday) when I have the following weekend two competitions back to back - dressage and SJ - hopefully it'll start to feel like less of a Big Fucking Deal - all the bathing and plaiting and waking up early and best jackets and whites and stuff. Less pressure if there are 5 classes/tests in one weekend and I'll be happy if just one of those goes well!

I think go to clinics and camps at the venue you are competing at and build up confidence away from home more before working on the pressure of competition as this really worked for me, or booking your regular lesson at a different venue even

Also have the competition after that one booked/ in your sights so that the one you are on seems less all or nothing

@CountryCob Great idea - we rarely travel for clinics or lessons, would be possible to do (don't have my own transport but can go with friends). And having another one booked in also means stakes are lower. Thanks!

Well, we placed in the 50cm, went clear in the 60cm...and then he threw me between 5a and 5b in the 70 cm yesterday. So frustrating, he was going so nicely, warmup perfect, the fences didn't really change. I don't really understand what went wrong.

Showed instructor the video (of course this is the only round that got videoed!) and she said we looked tentative going in and I didn't release enough over the fences and when he ran out the first time it was because he had a bad stride and not enough release, then my second attempt I was even more tense and looked down so it was doomed. Need more confidence apparently, and to keep it at 60 until we are flying around and bored. I really thought we were doing great though! Oh well.

We are training up to 80 in lessons and there was really no sign in the warmup or previous rounds that he was going to run out and I really did think I was giving with the reins! I guess I did have the thought at the back of my mind that things usually go wrong in the 70 so maybe he felt that somehow. Deeply frustrating though. I KNOW we can do it.

Practising competing definitely helps you both to relax. The first couple of dressage tests dd did years ago she was so nervous that despite going over and over the test in the weeks beforehand, she rode down the centre line in the test and promptly forgot where to go next. For ages, she had to have a caller (when one was allowed) as her mind would just go blank.

Now she’s competing most weekends she just goes over the test in the lorry on the way to the event, never forgets and is getting very consistent scores. It helps that she’s mainly eventing so a) the tests are all fairly similar and b) both she and her horse are looking forward to the jumping bits after the dressage but I never thought she’d be this relaxed about competing!

The more you do, the easier it will be and you’ll be able to look on one bad outing as just that, one bad outing and you’ll be able to put things into more perspective

Calming cookies for him, Rescue Remedy for you = you should be unbeatable

Thanks :) I had a chat with my instructor and agreed not to push it and stick to 60 and lower. Well, Sunday we had a Halloween show - I didn't compute that it would mean the indoor arena would be 'decorated' with spooky Halloween things! Sparkly spiders and axes and cobwebs and skeletons and posters of trees, of all these things the trees scare the literal shit out of my horse?

In any case, we had the 50cm outdoors first and the jumps were not decorated at all. Came second out of 20! Indoors, he was a dragon - I thought I was definitely going to die but he just ran out and bolted a little once, and I circled and made it round for only 4 faults. Stuck around for the clear round which was outside again and asked for it to be set at 60-65cm for some with oxers and we went clear! So officially our best competition performance. And some lovely photos.

We are competing nearly every weekend for the next month and it is helping for sure. I have ordered some calming cookies and rescue remedy to try during a lesson. We did a 70cm gridwork clinic and he was excellent, just has a little tendency to get fast after he gets through a grid and be on the wrong leg, but we obviously are capable. We will get there.

Facebook told me that one year ago exactly we were eliminated from our first ever SJ competition - now we're placing. It's really huge progress! Must remember that.