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The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

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Original poster

Giving up

17 replies

pinkpolo · 10/07/2021 21:17

DHorse has been a challenge to say the least, and after 2 years of weekly lessons with a very experienced trainer, I'm realising he's never going to enjoy the level of work. As such, I'm going to sell him on to a suitable home.

DH thinks I should look for another as he says it's my social life etc, and he's right. But I keep thinking about giving up completely. No more expense or responsibility is really tempting. I keep thinking about having extra cash, not having to see my physio for back pain, and actually having holidays (whatever they are..)

Has anyone done this? Did you regret it?

OP posts:

logincard · 10/07/2021 22:28

No, I’ve just restarted after 20 years out of the saddle… I get the money thing, but …. There is so much benefit to mental and physical health from an activity like riding …

lastqueenofscotland · 11/07/2021 00:32

I gave up for a while and said I wouldn’t do it again until I could afford full livery. It makes SUCH a difference.

Pinkmagic1 · 11/07/2021 08:19

Could you part loan instead? You would still get your horsey fix but without the level of commitment of ownership.

maxelly · 11/07/2021 16:07

I would give yourself a break and see how you feel in a few months, the horse market is ker-ker-krazy at the moment anyway so not a great time to be looking. There are lots of ways to get a horsey fix, lessons/hacks, horse holidays etc without the pressure and expense of owning your own. That being said every time I end up horseless I say I'm not having another of my own and every time I start getting itchy and find myself browsing horse quest etc within a few weeks so you may surprise yourself

ViceLikeBlip · 11/07/2021 16:12

Absolutely no harm having a break. I'm a big convert to rocking up at a trekking centre, enjoying 2 hrs out on beautiful country that I don't have access to, and then just coming home!

I think, given the way horse sales have been going this last year, that come the autumn there might be a lot of owners out there looking for an experienced sharer (or even looking to sell their horse for considerably less than they paid!)

NoProblem123 · 11/07/2021 16:53

I also gave up for nearly 20 years. Looking back I regret it.

Don’t forget, a bad one costs the same as a good one - so get a good one ! The best you can afford !

Secondly, coming last is still better than never stating in the first place.
If you are on FB join Shiteventersunited - we all feel the same

Floralnomad · 11/07/2021 20:32

I have been a horse / pony owner for over 40 years but all we own now is a retired pony who is on full livery ( we don’t sell anything ) . I gave up riding when my last riding horse retired about 22 years ago . 2 yrs ago I started riding again but I have no inclination to have another horse of my own . I’m actually not riding again at the moment due to health issues which are exacerbated by contact with hay / straw / shavings / dust so whether or not I start again is a bit dubious at present .

Original poster

pinkpolo · 12/07/2021 09:51

Thanks for the replies, really appreciate the advice.

Why is the equestrian life so hard to shake off?! I keep lamenting over nice clothes, holidays, not having to drive a land rover etc, and then I feel sick at the thought of no horse!

DHorse is on full livery, could never go back to DIY because of my working hours. It's just so bloody expensive, and my current DHorse is a bit of a diva and requires intensive care, which makes it even more expensive 😭

A part loan is a great suggestion, as is a riding centre!

OP posts:

LaPufalina · 13/07/2021 12:06

I didn't own between 18 and 41, I was at university and then living in London so just rode once a week.
I loan one now and we share chores between six adults for six horses/ponies living out 24/7, it's the dream scenario! (I do actually own a pony that belongs to my 4yo).

lastqueenofscotland · 13/07/2021 13:05

I’ll get called a snob here but if you are used to a nice horse to ride I think with the exception of Talland and the like you’d probably find most riding schools/centres a bit dull.
I love a sporty TB and am far to lazy for anything that needs any leg at all

A share is an excellent option.

Tendonsandjoints · 13/07/2021 13:27

Leaving your current dhorse aside, and if time/expense/responsibility were no object, what would your riding ambitions be? What level do you want to ride at & in which discipline? What do you enjoy most about it? Obvs don't have to answer here, but trying to really drill down and clarify what aspects of riding/horses bring you most enjoyment and fulfilment might help you clarify what you want to do in the future.

It's a good time to sell so you could do that, take a break and reassess and not make any final decisions for now. Your instructor might know of someone looking to buy.

In terms of social life, there are a trillion ways of getting involved on the ground (RDA, show steward, refuge etc) but for me personally, having returned to riding through my dd, I always felt there was a huge part of my life "missing" when I was wasn't a horse owner. It is a constant and huge responsibility though.

BTW, its great your dh is supportive! Mine is too but it can be difficult re: holidays & travel.

maxelly · 13/07/2021 13:59

@lastqueenofscotland

I’ll get called a snob here but if you are used to a nice horse to ride I think with the exception of Talland and the like you’d probably find most riding schools/centres a bit dull. I love a sporty TB and am far to lazy for anything that needs any leg at all

A share is an excellent option.

I can't abide a plod either, and don't really enjoy regularly riding a horse that I don't feel there's any prospect of improving/progressing, which is why I always seem end up owning my own even when not practical to do so

, so you're clearly not being snobby, but I do think it's possible to find nice enough horses to have the odd lesson on without resorting to Talland levels of snobbiness/pricy-ness!

For instance I have periodically had lessons at the school I now livery at which is to all appearances a bang average 'follow-the-leader round the outside and one by one trot to the back' type place, largely catering to kids and beginners with super-ploddy cobby types, but if you are an experienced/competent rider the owner will let you take lessons on her own dressage school-masters or on the ones she occasionally has in to sell on. 95% of the clients probably don't even know these horses exist and you certainly can't just walk in and ask for a lesson on one no matter how good a rider, you would have to invest in a few lessons on the plods first but worth it for someone likely to be horseless for an extended period. Or within a half hour radius of me I also know of a fewer smaller places that mainly hack, so no good if you want to show-jump 1m+ or learn half pass or whatever but they have a selection of fun responsive hacks (even a few ex racers!), or there is a much larger exam and competition centre (nowhere near Talland size though!) that does BHS up to Stage 3 so they have to have nicer horses for that (that again, if you 'prove yourself' through normal lessons you will be allowed to ride). To be fair there's also loads of rubbish places where OP would be totally wasting her money so I expect she will need to be prepared to try out a few and spend a bit of money and travel time if that's the road she wants to go down, but obviously if it's a longer term thing may be an option worth considering?

Floralnomad · 13/07/2021 15:20

@lastqueenofscotland I think riding schools , or some of them have moved on a bit , the one I rode at had lovely , lively , often difficult horses that only the better clients could ride and I know of a few others near us that are similar . Obviously they have the plodding types as well . I also think a riding school experience is very much down to the instructor and you need to find one that wants to help you improve their horse as much as improve your riding iyswim . Even on group lessons we didn’t do any of the old fashioned canter to the end of the ride business that was what happened when I rode as a child .

Original poster

pinkpolo · 15/07/2021 09:46

Ooo thanks everyone, some really interesting thoughts here.

I've just had a week away and it was probably just what I needed. I've decided to do 8 weeks boot camp with DHorse up until autumn and see where we are at. Dressage is my thing and it's not his, which is a shame. He'd suit a working hunter/hacking life, the latter I absolutely love but I haven't got the time or facilities.

I want to give it one last try as I bought him as a feral 3 year old and backed him myself. He's just not forward enough for me in the school which makes me think he's not enjoying it. Put a jump up - different story!!

OP posts:

Teabag55 · 17/07/2021 20:49

Just caught up with this. Are you doing an official 'boot camp or do you just mean you're going to spend the next 8 weeks putting the work in?
I'd love to hear how it goes!

Chickenfarmer4 · 22/07/2021 21:15

If you’re doubting it, keep going. Try doing the fun stuff if you can- bareback riding, little hacks, pole work. If your horse is a nutter and you’re scared, perhaps sell and try loaning something steady and seeing if you enjoy riding again

Biddie191 · 04/08/2021 17:22

Good luck with boot camp :-) If he's still not what suits you once fit and you've done the work, before October half term is often the best time to sell, as lots of people are looking with something to get to know over winter, in preparation for the nest season starting in Spring.
I went 8 years without horses, but I really think for some it's just part of our DNA. I don't ride much now, just hacking mostly (not as brave as I was, current horse is probably bit much for what I want to do, as I'm not as brave as I once was, sadly, and it now hurts when I fall off!). However, happily my daughter is obsessed too, so I take her competing everywhere instead

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