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Next steps for horsey teen

10 replies

Jabfraud · 29/05/2021 20:10

My daughter and I share an Irish cob. I plod along on him 3 x a week and she rides at weekends. He is on diy livery and between us we manage him well. He is sufficiently exercised and well cared for. My daughter is 15. She wants to compete and do well. Our horse tries but he is a happy hacker and just not wizzy enough. I thought if we put time into him he’d be fine at low level competitions but he just isn’t. So my quandary........, Do I get my daughter a faster horse? Due to school commitments she would really only be able to ride at weekends plus maybe 1 evening and holidays. Is that enough for a fit horse? It works currently as I also ride our boy but I know my limits. I’m a happy hacker and couldn’t exercise a fit competition horse confidently and I don’t want to give up my current lovely boy. How do I help my daughter progress? Maybe there isn’t a way and I tell her to wait until she can get her own and look after it fully. Advice very welcome

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Ifimight · 29/05/2021 20:13

I think it sounds ok. Depends what level she wants to compete at - she may have to accept that she might not have time to compete at the level she wants to. She's got time for bigger ambitions when she leaves school. If you can afford another horse, two wouldn't take that much more time to look after than one. Could you find one to loan so if it doesn't work out you can hand it back?

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WorriedMillie · 29/05/2021 20:20

Would you be able to lunge the horse a couple of days a week, just to keep it ticking over?
No harm in expecting her to stick with current pony though, given that many teens would give anything for a sit on a horse
Or a loan might be a decent compromise, especially if she’s planning on heading to uni in a few years? Decent loan horses can be a bit rare though

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Elieza · 29/05/2021 20:29

I would suggest a loan or part loan too.

She’s at an age where she may go to college or uni or meet a boy or girlfriend and may move away. Imagine having a fab horse for eight months or something and she announces she’s moving away as there a really good course she wants to do….

At least with a loan it can go back to its owner and you won’t be stuck exercising it for two years or whatever til she comes back.

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Jabfraud · 29/05/2021 21:03

Yes getting stuck with a horse I’m not capable of riding appropriately myself does concern me. Ive seen lots of keen teens suddenly go off riding when a boyfriend appears so know exactly what you mean! I could lunge a horse and can do day to day care. A loan might be a very good idea. Ill put some feelers out on my yard to see if anyone knows of anything. I’m hoping when things get back to normal a few more loans may come available. I’m a pretty risk averse person and just don’t want to over horse my daughter or not be able to do the best for the animal itself in terms of stimulating it and keeping it fit.

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Elieza · 30/05/2021 09:50

I don’t know the ins and outs of a “part loan” or “sharing” but imagine there will be people everywhere who have much loved horses but whose income has dropped due to covid and they are debating what to do with the horse. Or their daughter has gone to uni and they are stuck with a horse they can’t ride (much like you could have been in similar circs).

It could be that having someone to allow her do a weekday and a day at the weekend could be enough to give your daughter a good chance of experience on a good horse and gives the experienced owner some money to help with bills and still let him/her keep it and exercise it the other days (perfect for your daughter who cant commit to riding daily, the horse will be continually ridden by them or her).

Or if it’s a uni students horse it might be that a couple of days of your daughter riding isn’t enough to keep it exercised and you’re back to thinking about lunging.

Perhaps some arrangement could be made if you found the right horse/circumstances to part loan or share? I’ve done it unofficially with my pony but you do really need something in writing.

There used to be info on the BHS website about loaning and contracts and stuff. It sounds daunting but it doesn’t have to be.

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maxelly · 31/05/2021 18:57

Your post kind of implies it's an either/or between a happy hack and a high power fire breathing competition horse, but if your DD just wants to do low level local stuff (and is prepared to have lessons and work at it), I would have thought it should be possible to find a suitable horse that will take your DD round a prelim/novice test or an 80cm unaffiliated, but also be quiet enough for you to hack out in between times. I mean maybe she won't always win if she's up against kids that do have the high powered warmbloods or whatever bought for them but the majority of horses when correctly schooled will be capable of doing respectably at that level? It shouldn't require an exceptional level of fitness to do that either, most horses in regular work would cope with a couple of dressage tests or SJ rounds in a day, XC probably does need more fitness esp to make times but not to racehorse level, achievable for most people with some effort I think.

It's worth looking into a loan or share as others have said but I probably wouldn't frame it that she wants a 'competition' horse, to me true competition types are not normally loaned out esp to teenagers unless they have some serious quirks or other issues. I'm sure it does happen but the majority of people that own safe, genuine competition horses either want to compete themselves or want to see the horse being very successful with a rider that has an established competition record. Sometimes people do loan out older competition horses that are ready to step down but it can be a bit of a lottery how well they take to a quieter life with a less experienced or confident rider. And whilst I'm sure your DD is a great rider the perils of over horsing her and losing her confidence are still there and as she's not needing something that will jump round burghley or olympia it would be much better to have a less talented horse that gives her confidence and she has fun on than one with all the scope and potential that she (and you!) end up scared of!

I think my plan would be to look for a loan or share of a nice forward going fun horse (but a sensible schoolmaster all rounder type, ideally that you can also ride at least occasionally). Ask around your local horsey network to see if anyone knows of any opportunities... And supplement her current riding with some extra lessons and clinic etc, perhaps at a large training centre where she can have a sit on some proper schoolmasters to get used to what a more high powered horse really feels like. I guess then if the loan hunt doesn't work out you can consider whether you want to take the plunge into swapping the cob for a different horse but frankly as you're the one paying the bills and doing a lot of the work (and would presumably have to stump up the extra £££) I think you get more of the final say on that one, it would be more than fair to say when she's an adult and can afford her own horse she can get herself a top notch WB but until then it's the cob or nothing, after all she's incredibly lucky she has her own horse to ride at all, so many kids have to make do with lessons and working at the yard for rides all their childhood and it doesn't put them off Smile

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LaPufalina · 02/06/2021 07:13

Echoing maxelly, those in-between horses do exist. My friend part loaned (effectively fully loaned) her little eventer to a local teenager when she was expecting/post partum last year. He competes up to BE100 but is a nice hack too if he has a competent rider.

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CaptainThe95thRifles · 02/06/2021 10:46

I also agree with the more recent comments - I'd actively strongly advise against a fit competition horse for a teenager who is used to a plodding hack. A well schooled, mannerly horse - and that would include many cobs as well as more "quality" types - should be perfectly capable of doing both jobs.

However, before making any dramatic changes - given the low level of work your current cob sounds to be in, are you absolutely sure that he isn't capable of some competitive riding? There aren't many horses out there which are truly sound, schooled and fit that can't do low level competition / PC. Would it be worth having some additional input into the current horse?

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maxelly · 02/06/2021 11:11

@CaptainThe95thRifles

I also agree with the more recent comments - I'd actively strongly advise against a fit competition horse for a teenager who is used to a plodding hack. A well schooled, mannerly horse - and that would include many cobs as well as more "quality" types - should be perfectly capable of doing both jobs.

However, before making any dramatic changes - given the low level of work your current cob sounds to be in, are you absolutely sure that he isn't capable of some competitive riding? There aren't many horses out there which are truly sound, schooled and fit that can't do low level competition / PC. Would it be worth having some additional input into the current horse?

I thought this too initially but then I read the OP again and wondered if it was more the case that the cob isn't really confident/keen on the more competitive activities being more ploddy/lazy by nature, rather than that he isn't capable per se?

If it's jumping the DD wants to do, it is easier to learn (once you get above the baby heights) if you have a horse that's just that bit scopier to get you out of trouble if you get a stride/line a bit wrong, plus it's a lot more confidence building (and importantly, fun!) if your horse is actively enjoying themselves and taking you to the fence, rather than you having to push them all the way.

My little 14hh cob mares enjoy their jumping and if correctly ridden will get round an 80-90cm course clear but they are quite 'unforgiving', you have to get them just right at every fence and hand-hold a bit, they're at the upper limit of their scope at that height really, if you're a bit long or just faint hearted they will go 'eep' and stop or clatter their way through for multiple poles. It doesn't bother me as I'm not a jumper really and don't care if we rack up a cricket score, but I can see for a teen just learning the ropes themselves and without the experience to do that hand-holding they could easily get a bit disheartened and into a confidence loss spiral, esp if their PC buddies are flying around clear each time. I think similar could apply to dressage at ele or above, where again with correct schooling, it's possible but you would be pushing against a cob's natural build and inclinations to try and get the higher level movements?

I suppose it's an attitude thing, I can totally see that learning on a horse where you really have to ride correctly (as opposed to something more push-button where you can sit there and look pretty) is really good for your riding in a way, but I can also just see the argument that if the cob in his heart of hearts just wants to plod around hacking is it really helping anyone to try and turn him into something he isn't?
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CaptainThe95thRifles · 02/06/2021 11:50

The OP isn't very specific, Maxelly, which is why I asked the question. If the OP had said the daughter wants to event at 90+, I wouldn't even have mentioned it - but there really shouldn't be any (sound, fit) horse that isn't capable of doing a reasonable prelim test, or jumping around a small competitive course. I've schooled an awful lot of horses for people over the years who have said their animal is too ploddy for their needs - often as a last resort before they sell on. A few weeks / months of training and real fitness has generally shown them that the horse has a lot more going for it than they realised. Often these horses have been fat, unfit and not very well schooled - especially cobs and natives - and their owners have often been unaware of this. We do have an equine obesity crisis in this country, so it's not surprising that there are lots of people in the OP's situation who would fall into this category. Obviously, I'm not saying that this is the OP's situation as I can't possibly judge that from two short posts on a forum - I'm raising the possibility and suggesting that a second opinion from professionals who can see the horse might be useful.

I agree that it's much more enjoyable to jump a keen horse, but I don't think "wizzy" horses are always actually keen on their jobs, and since that's the word the OP used, I thought it was worth digging deeper into the question of suitability. It's perfectly reasonable, even at low levels, to select a horse that wants to do the job - but I would want to be sure that the horse was given reasonable opportunity to show its preference.

I'm absolutely not advocating bashing a square peg into a round hole - I'm suggesting that before people make dramatic changes (like selling / buying / acquiring loans), they take a step back and reassess whether there's more to be done with what they have.

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