How to get dd off the lead rein

[tilder]

Just that really. She is 9, has been on and off the lead rein for months. I think it's making her quite reliant on the lead rein, but she gets nervous. It could also be me!

How do you make the shift? She has lessons occasionally in a school, where she is not coming off lead because of Covid risk assessments. Out hacking she will reluctantly come off the lead rein but sticks to me like glue. Our fab pony takes his lead from me and ignores her. If I walk away, he refuses to move.

Not sure what to do to help her!

Honestly when they are small I’d let them do what they are confident doing. But would maybe some gymkhana type games help?
However if the pony ignores her that is not a nice feeling either. It’s reassuring to know you’re in control.

I’d also have a look at Bella Dunseath on Instagram she is a cracking tiny tot rider and her mum often posts lots of handy hints for younger children’s riding/balance/confidence

I had a pony a bit like that, would only take notice of what I told her if no adult was around. When I had the next one I was an adult and she took no notice of me!
I’d just do away with the lead rein and the pony will follow you. Might have to borrow a livelier pony at some point.

I've just googled Bella Dunseath! Wow. Some serious jumping from such a tiny rider.

Our pony is great. But I think a true lead rein pony. Does everything she asks when on the lead, he ignores her only if I'm not there. I've been having a long, loose lead rein and he's fine. He is still great off the lead as long as I am next to him. Its a problem if I walk away or she tries to ride away. Which doesn't help either of them.

He's only 10hh so I can't get on. She fits him really well, would love them to progress more together before we need to look for another pony.

Does someone on your yard have say a quiet section A she could hop on?
She may feel more confident or less frustrated if she thinks she is being listened to

She has lessons on a fab section a when we're not in lock down, so been a bit stop and start over the last year. Am hoping we can get her going on her again now; she had a lead rein lesson last week. First one in months. Pre last lock down she was spending the last 10 minutes off the lead and hopefully we can start that again soon.

Our pony is kept privately and his field mates are either a project pony or a 3 year old not yet backed. Neither very appealing for her at the moment!

I guess I just worry that she is learning to be very dependant on the lead rein. Am wondering if the 50 minute hack to the school and back for a lesson on her pony would help.

If it’s 50 minutes both ways plus the lesson time I reckon that’s far too long to be riding for a 9 yr old , unless they are very keen and confident which she obviously is not or you wouldn’t be having the issues . Could you not borrow or hire a box or get an instructor to come to you . How long has she actually been riding and did she initially have formal lessons or start off with her own pony ?

How long has she been riding overall? I often think DC who don't have lead rein experience and who start riding independently at seven have an easier time of it. Your DD is not alone in funding the transition difficult.

I agree with lastqueenofscotland I wouldn't like sitting on a pony that took instructions from someone else. I would feel totally out of control. It's a bit the same with dogs who tend to feel more anxious on a leash. You need more freedom and control over your own actions in order to feel more confident.

Could you lunge her and she could practice downwards transitions that way? And gradually wean her off ?

And lessons with DC her own age always helps. So carry on with the riding school lessons where possible restrictions allowing? Go back to basics with an instructor?

Ultimately you might need a new pony!

Thanks all.

She has been riding for about 2 years. Hence my worries about the lead rein.

She started with weekly lessons in a school. Group to begin with, then private. Its been a bit stop start with covid. Pre covid, they said they won't let her off the lead until she becomes more assertive.

We have also been hacking out for about a year. I say our pony, he is a loan not owned. Coming off the lead out hacking has been harder but she is only on the lead now for tractors etc.

Except she is not really off the lead because the pony follows me and won't go away from me!

I feel like we're stuck in a trap. Its become a habit for her and I'm not sure how to motivate her to be independent. I agree the school is too far to hack to. We don't have transport.

Maybe some competition would help. She is quite happy pottering around and chatting. Having a friend to keep up with might motivate her. I will ask about a group lesson of just 2 of them, if covid allows.

She loves her ponies. Obsessed actually. Its just motivation and confidence to let go. Plus I guess maybe a pony that will also let go. Her loan pony has never been lunged, there isn't really anywhere suitable. The fields are hilly and his field mates very interested!

I will have a chat with her instructor now we're able to again. See what she says. I've been a bit passive about it too. Covid hasn't helped.

I think the pony sounds potentially like the issue here... proper LR ponies can often be either tricky or stubborn of the lead rein.
When I was 12/13 I used to ride a lot of LR ponies belonging to younger children to help get them less dependent on the LR (the ponies can be as well!). Is there a local pony club that will have a competent but small teen who can hop on?

I would recommend join Pony Club. Get her involved in both the on and off horse activities they offer. I imagine she'll just need a touch of confidence and seeing others doing it will help. She'll soon be cantering off away down the field on her own threading through bending poles trying to beat her mates.

If the pony is lead rein and not a first ridden, it's not surprising that your DD can't make him do a job he isn't trained for. They're very different requirements and your pony would be worth serious money if he could do both. Perhaps he is also a second pony and would do the job if a competent little jockey laid down the law but your DD isn't at this stage. This is a problem as old as the sun!

Unfortunately you're looking at either trying to turn him into a first ridden (which doesn't seem to be an option) or trying to loan or buy a first ridden. I don't think it's a good idea to try and cajole your DD into going off the lead rein on a pony that isn't produced for the purpose, especially if she's nervous.

I would find a different riding school and return the loan pony . At 9 and having ridden for 2 yrs she should be off the lead in the school and a couple of lessons on a suitable pony will probably sort that out . Once she’s confident at a riding school look for a different pony . Probably a stupid question but does your daughter actually want to ride or has she fallen into it because you are horsey .

Yes, reading your updates op, it's time to transition to another pony. With preparatory riding school lessons in advance. And I would suggest your daughter having lessons without you there and you just turning up 5 mins before the end.

If she is happy, does it matter that much? Especially if your pony is tricky off the lead rein.

Hopefully, with her riding school lessons, she can progress, and her riding at home can be just for fun?

If you could take on another who is a sensible first ridden type, that would probably be great for her, but obviously getting another pony adds expense!

If she is happy, I wouldn't necessarily be pushing her?

First ridden ponies are a breed unto themselves and very different to lead rein ponies. With the right pony (or riding school pony) she will fly. She obviously has the basic balance down, just needs the right partner to take the next step.

Thanks all. Lots of food for thought.

I think I am part of the problem. Covid rules mean I have to lead during her lesson. But I think she would come off the lead for somebody else. I will discuss lunge lessons with her instructor, see what the options are. Our riding school options are limited. Closest option has closed permanently, then it's competition yards or 45 minute drive. Will see.

I've not done lead rein ponies before (I learnt at 10 at a 'chuck them on and don't fall off' yard). So the idea of a pony that won't move off the lead is new to me. Now I know it's a thing, its easy to see it as a problem.

I had a chat with the ponies owner today and I think we might be able to sort. She is really keen to help and get dd riding. We are looking at another pony.

Today went brilliantly. Dd was really keen to ride bare back (with bridle!) And then hacked out the most independently yet. No lead rein and she did all the direction and transitions. She loves the ponies, sits and talks to them for hours.

Until recently she has been very happy to just sit there as a passenger really. I think it's been a big of a shock to her that riding takes a bit of effort

Sorry for the epic post

You've all really helped. Thank you.

I will have a think about pony club too. I never did it, so have no idea what it involves. Am aware we have no transport though, which i suspect will limit her.

Your riding schools sound very limited! Here lessons are taking place, competitions are back on & Pony Club is operating.

Sounds like a shake up might help move DD off the leading rein - a new routine/activity/companion. Hopefully as things open up again now that will be possible for you.

You may find with PC that you could share transport with someone nearby .

One word of caution - first ponies are really, really hard to find at the moment. They stay on the market for a day and sell for eye watering amounts. As hard as it is to get something suitable, don't be lulled into getting a pony that's 'more of a second pony', or a 'first pony for a confident little rider' type. It won't work. The only solution I can think of is to pull every string you have in terms of horsy connections as first ponies are sometimes cherished and loaned out to chosen families, or loan a riding school pony.

I was surprised how few there are too skeggycaggy. Where we go is about 20 minutes, same as the place that closed. Lots of small private livery and competition yards. Then nothing for quite a drive. I have been put in touch with a mobile instructor, so will see if that works.

Competitions are starting again, but that's not something dd is aware of.

I agree she needs a pony riding friend. I will ask around.

I've been looking at prices asifnothinghappened, definitely eye watering.

I've had some helpful discussions today, have a few other people to talk too. Feel a lot more positive.

Horsey people are so lovely and generous with their time and animals. The lady who owns her current pony said she just enjoys seeing dd enjoying her pony.