Urgh, losing sleep over this pony!
DS (8)‘s little mare has only been with us for 5 months. Early days - but not that early. We knew she was a bit quirky when we bought her, would want to bond with us before really trusting us, liked to pull faces etc to, but were told she wouldn’t take it further.
She definitely does take it further with us. I’m finding her really tricky to handle on the ground. She barely wants to be touched - hates me picking up her feet, girthy, objects about rugs getting put on / taken off etc. She’s absolutely winning this battle of wills, and often I just walk away. There have been numerous unsuccessful attempts to bite, and more recently kicking out and swinging her hindquarters at us.
She was great under saddle to start with but has been nervous and silly on the few hacks we have managed recently. She’s getting very little work due to the dreadful weather conditions, but still. DS is a nice neat little rider but not confident and doesn’t cope well with the fizzy days.
She was essentially sold as a LR/FR, and I don’t feel she is - certainly not on the ground (I won’t let DS handle her at all now). She’s too forward under saddle for DS to feel really safe.
I’m not inexperienced (although not & never will be a brave gung ho type), and this is not our first or only pony. But I can’t see the woods for the trees and I just don’t know how long to persevere with her when things are only getting worse. I feel that as an adult I would be obliged to take responsibility for trying I make things right with a horse of my own, but DS is 8 and it feels unfair that a loving and committed little boy who is happy to spend hours every day at the yard doing every menial job under the sun has this pony who genuinely looks like she wants to kill us a lot of the time. My mum instincts are really kicking in now, and I just want to keep my child away from her.
Not sure what I’m asking... WWYD, maybe? I’m in touch with her previous owners who are open about having found her quirky initially, but also worked through it and clearly adored her. We’re just not “clicking”. I’m not sure that I could sell her on to another family home without being very honest either. She’s a talented little pony though - better than DS needs as he essentially wants to hack and do the more social parts of Pony Club, but has no great ambition.
Is 5 months too soon to give up? She has had really good days too (less lately), at times I’ve felt DS’s riding and really progressed with her (but overall he is losing confidence, even if he looks more refined), and sometimes, just sometimes, she’ll be incredibly sweet and I’ll feel like we have a base to work from. It’s not the overall feeling though.
She’s 18 so I don’t think much is going to change. Vet is booked to take a look over her later this week. I have no more time to give her, we are already at the yard (DIY livery) 2-3 hours every single day (over 2 visits), often much more. She will know by now that we are her caregivers!
Hand holding and / or constructive suggestions very welcome.