Going back to visit a horse you have sold, any stories?

[carreterra]

Well, it wasn't me who sold an ISH gelding who I shared with my former partner. We shared the cost of stable rental, feed & farrier, and I paid for horse insurance. We'd kept him for 8 years, ex had learned to ride on him as he wasn't very horsey initially. We had an huge argument in June, I told him I wanted to end the relationship. He went on Preloved the next day & entered the gelding's details for sale, and as his name was on the equine passport, there was nothing I could do, ex was ice cold & not up for negotiation. Horse was sold for £1500 with all rugs, tack & tack lockers, as I wanted him to go with everything that was familiar to him.
I visited the gelding last weekend, over 140 miles away. He is with a knowledgable family who love him, but the new owner could not resist getting some digs in, She told me that the vet had visited for the gelding's jabs, and was quite concerned the horse was overweight. but he is out overnight now, and we never had this option. Vet checked hooves for heat, and didn't find any, but I had the impression new owner was trying to blame me. When the gelding was with me, he was perfect weight for his size & shape, 15hh & 450 kg, a nutrition rep came out from Spillers last autumn. He has never been lame or laminitic Also, this new owner stopped the horse from drinking water after he'd been brought in from the field!
She said "I don't want him drinking too much, in case he gets colic !"
It was a really hot day, and there was only a third of a bucket in the stable !
I took 2 turnout rugs that I'd found after the sale, I could have sold them on eBay, but really wanted the gelding to be warm over the winter months. The new owner took the rugs and then got another dig in about the horse's fitness, saying that she wanted him fully fit but it was very hard work exercising him, due to bad habits he had picked up.
I drove home feeling terrible, I feel so hurt and jealous. I really miss the horse, but am I overreacting ? Horses are bought & sold all the time, and mine isn't the only heartbreaking story.
Can anyone else share their stories, and did it put you off getting another horse?

DD1's much loved first pony we sold but he had an accident and did a tendon, recovered but was sold on as they felt couldn't compete him XC as they wanted (which was fair enough). At the new home where they adored him and vice versa, he had a great time till outgrown, then sold on and the final home he got kicked in the field and broke his knee badly so was pts. Always regretted not visiting that last time before the final sale or taking him back - we were asked if we wanted to buy him as companion as our other oldie was retired, but felt no, he was outgrown, and would be fun for a new family as he simply adored kids and fun stuff like log jumping, puddle jumping and anything fun we did with him at Pony Club.

Would tbey sell him back if they arnt happy with him

Thankyou, Ariela, I'm sorry about your poor pony, I bet you and your family treasure the memories of him.
@slipperywhensparticus
I did not ask that question of whether she would sell him back, as it looks as if they have bonded. Also, don't know whether I have a job to go back to, and there are memories of happier times with this gelding.
Thankyou for sharing !

If they’ve got a horse that’s safe enough to teach a beginner on for £1500 with a wardrobe they’ve got an absolute bargain unless he’s very old! Prices have gone nuts in the last year you’d not pick up something like that for less than £6k at the moment looking at the selling sites!

I go and visit my old lad occasionally, it is sad sometimes I adored him and worry I’ll never find one like him. But his owner is so lovely and I know if she ever wanted to get rid (doubt it!!) she would give me first refusal.

Personally I’ve never allowed previous owners to visit or kept in touch with any of them and we’ve never sold on so it’s never arisen from our side .

Thankyou all for sharing your stories, I hear you all, and i will not be going back to see the gelding, I'm just storing up heartache if I did.
@lastqueenofscotland Regarding the gelding's age, he is only 14 !!
My partner could have sold him for a lot more in hindsight, he just sold him on quickly to punish me, and when this house is sold I don't want to see or speak to him again.
Thankyou to everyone who has contributed, I feel a bit better now.

I think you've found, like with a relationship breakdown, trying to say 'let's stay friends' with someone who has bought your horse more often ends in tears than not... you are kind of setting yourself up for heartbreak either way, if the horse is going incredibly well and being well looked after it only highlights what you've lost, if you are worried it's not being properly cared for or is unhappy/under used there is very little you can do. Don't get me wrong, I've been there, also in the position of seeing ponies I've sold at PC rallies or comps, sometimes performing better than when we had them and sometimes worse, I'm really not sure which is worse!

It all sounds very sad and a horrible mess with relationship breakdown in the mix as well as losing your horse but I think the best thing to do now is try and move on, focus on yourself, don't contact the new owner again or offer any more stuff, maybe have a think about how you could set yourself up for more horsey time when you are ready, e.g. finding a good riding school for some lessons or a part-loan/share?

@maxelly
Thankyou for your wise words. I'm blessed that my daughters are all horsey, and 2 of them have offered me time with their horses. They live quite a distance away, but maybe once a fortnight i could do, even to groom & muck out without the riding would be great, as i love being around horses.

We have only ever sold one, 14 years ago. He was a 13.1 Welsh c and he went to a tiny adult rider who was nervous. It was an ideal match as he loved to hack and schooled fairly well but was a bit hit and miss jumping. We have kept in touch, originally phone, email and Christmas cards, more recently face book. He is 30 now and part of me would like to go and see him before it's too late, but I know I would howl my eyes out😥

@Pastryapronsucks
Thankyou for sharing your story. He sounds like a lovely pony, he's the same age as my daughter's veteran, who is still ridden on hacks around nearby country lanes. Each winter we think it might be his last, and he delights us all by not only surviving but thriving. He is on a joint supplement, Flexibility which has been proven to work.
I know what you mean about howling if you went to visit him, I'm reminded of the gelding I miss so much when I look at carrots in a supermarket, it makes me feel so bereft !

Personally I’ve never allowed previous owners to visit or kept in touch with any of them

Ruthless.

@Woundedadmiral not ruthless at all if you are that attached then don’t sell , there are plenty of other options .

I don't agree and it's not so difficult to say all's well.