Advice for newly pg competitive riders

[DressageDivine]

Hi all,
I’m new to the thread. I’m about 6/7 weeks pregnant and I ride and breed competitive dressage horses as well as working a high pressured full time job currently.
I’m feeling highly anxious about everything and looking for some calibration around my feelings!
I currently ride 2 of my own horses competitively at different levels up to medium, one 4yr old and a 9yr old, I also have a mare and foal going through grading, I ride an advanced horse and a friends youngster occasionally.
My pregnancy wasn’t necessarily planned, we are always careful using the apps but one accident later and my husband is now overjoyed.

I, however, have very mixed feelings. I am scared. I am scared of what it will do to my body, my life and my mental wellbeing.
I have been on horses before I could walk and never had a break. That won’t ever change for me.
I’m concerned about the whole “bouncing back”, having a “flap” of skin and being incontinent, not to mention being tired and actually having to give birth! Am I over reacting?
I’m sorry if I’m being highly sensitive, I am probably feeling a little hormonal.
I am also thinking that because I’m a “strong, independent woman” that I will be able to just get on with it and everything will be ok.

Mental torture....need some help please!

It isn't my career but I own one and compete him currently at novice. I was riding 5/6 times a week before pregnancy and whilst planned like you I suddenly panicked about how my life with horses would change.

I rode till 4/5 months and only stopped due to covid and lockdown.

I gave birth early July. Long labour ending in C Section! Not the ideal birth at all and I didn't want a C section because I was desperate to ride again 😂😂

6 weeks after surgery I was back on .. next week is 11 weeks after and I have my first comp. I promise it's totally achievable to get back into it

My little boy is the most amazing thing ive ever done but it's amazing to be back in the saddle. I have a very supportive husband which is a huge help

Don't panic you will be amazing

Don’t panic. Any time you have off (and take as long as you need) will just be a blip in a lifetime of riding.

I was riding at Advanced Medium when I had my first and PSG when I had my second. I rode until 4/5 months when my balance changed and then swapped to lungeing and long reining. Had a C section first time round and was back on board within 2 weeks - which wasn’t sensible looking back; I should have allowed myself more time. 2nd baby didn’t involve a section so recovery was better.

The only thing I’d say is you may want to re-think the youngsters or riding anything that is sharp. You do become more risk-aware and your balance does change - I was riding a horse I had had since a youngster and who was very safe, but I might have felt differently on something unpredictable. I was also less brave post-children but from talking to friends I think that is a “getting older” thing rather than having children per se. (Anyway, think of all those top eventers who have had a baby then gone round Badminton, Burghley etc. the next year...)

Good luck and give yourself permission to lower the intensity for a while.

Ladies thanks so much for your responses and reassuring words. It’s really humbling to hear about others in the same situation.
Luckily my husband is also a shining star and fully supports my crazy equestrian obsessive lifestyle so I have no doubt he will be all over everything he can to help.
I do have it fixed in my head to be back into it like you both but it has given me some food for thought around the youngsters. I am certainly not as “stupid” as I once was with young or even challenging horses as when I was a teen or in my 20’s, so I do agree it is an age thing.

I think the thing to do is to take each stage/week as it comes and not put too much pressure on yourself, as each pregnancy and baby are different! Don't drive yourself mad thinking about the worse case scenario or the horror stories you hear, but it is natural to be nervous, after all it is a big life change and one you hadn't necessarily expected to happen so quickly, so equally don't beat yourself up for feeling a bit emotional about it all! With some determination, good support and planning/organisation you can certainly combine riding at a high level with being a mum, lots of people do. But equally lots of people choose the time they start a family to have a little break from the pressures, expense etc. of competing at a high level and take some time to just enjoy being around their horses and pottering around, or even to have a total break from horses, and come back to it later. That is totally fine too, you do what is best for you and your family!

My dressage trainer is amazing, she competes her own 2 horses as well as bringing along 2 youngsters, having a busy teaching business and schooling/riding other people's horses as well. She had a baby earlier in the year - she rode her own 2 horses in an uneventful fashion until fairly late in the pregnancy (by the later stages she wasn't competing or going off the yard, just keeping them ticking over), and was teaching a full day of lessons the day before her due date (!), but some things did have to get knocked on the head, her 2yo got turned away with a companion and was pretty much untouched for months (but she might have done that anyway), the 4yo got sent away to be backed and started by someone else which she would almost certainly have done herself had she not been pg, and she stopped riding other people's horses nutters almost as soon as she got pregnant and she hasn't really re-started that part of the business at all even 6 months after having baby, and I'm not sure she ever will TBH (she'll hop onto a client's horse that she knows well for a pootle round/demo, but not take in any problem horses or youngsters for schooling). She's back competing her own horses at the same level as before now, having taken maybe 6-8 weeks totally off riding in the last few weeks of pregnancy and early days of having a newborn, plus maybe more like 6 months off competitive riding in total - she did say to me she was surprised by how difficult it was getting back to riding at first and she felt her balance/strength and fitness are still not back to where they were before, but to my admittedly unskilled eye it all looks great! She does have a really supportive husband and family and obviously to some extent the fact she works for herself meant she could arrange her clients and schedule etc to suit working around the baby (although being self-employed with a baby comes with its own challenges as well I am sure). The baby is a regular fixture on the yard parked up in his pram snoozing while she rides or teaches, or being fussed over by his many 'yard aunties' - there's always someone happy to push him around or bounce him on a knee whilst he waits for his Mum! Not sure what the plan is when he's mobile, I guess he'll go to nursery or grandma's house or something while she works?

So ultimately if your youngsters have to have a bit more field time and your competition horses have a few months off, that is not the end of the world and may end up being a positive. Do think through where and how your support network will come in, do you have someone you trust to ride your horses and keep them ticking over if you aren't able to at any point? If not can you look to find someone now? If you wanted to get the youngsters started I would definitely consider paying a trusted person to do it for you, there's certainly nothing wrong with getting more cautious with age and of course you do have your family to think of now as well!

In my experience most horsey people seem to find a way to make it work when babies are added into the mix. I would agree that it might be better to avoid riding anything young or sharp but lots of people keep riding through most of pregnancy, and are able to get back in the saddle fairly quickly after. I had an episiotomy and was still back in the saddle after 3 weeks as I healed quickly. It will be a challenge but you will adapt.

@DressageDivine - jockey here. I have an ROR (my ex racer) which I rode all throughout the pregnancy till the day I gave birth (he's retraining as an eventer) and was back in the saddle 2w after a very easy quick straightforward birth.

Now pg with no. 2 (again unplanned, hey) and I'm doing the same.

I have friends who raced till 3m pregnant which I'd probably not feel like doing (but then I cx jumped and broke an arm when 3m pregnant so...). Basically anything can go wrong and riding, unless doctor says otherwise, is something we do daily so it's not more or less dangerous for us than taking a bus.

@DressageDivine firstly congratulations on your pregnancy! I totally understand how you're feeling and spent the first week or so with a flurry of emotions when I first found out I was pregnant, despite TTC for a year. Like you say us horse/country girls are made of tough stuff and you learn to adapt and adjust as you go along 😊

Now 20 weeks and still riding out work on racehorses 6 days a week. I'm lucky and have no bump or change in myself yet so my balance is yet to be affected. I'm taking each week as it comes and my boss is very understanding of that but plan to be riding at least a lot or two for as long as I can!
As soon as I found out I no longer rode breakers or anything known to be dodgy. I was approached a lot through lock down to get various horses re started for people after a bit of time off but decided not to take that extra risk either.
Other half has said he trusts I'll know when it's best to slow up but would have been equally as happy for me to have not sat on a horse for the whole pregnancy!
You know yourself what you're comfortable with, advice seems to be carry on until you're not happy to anymore - whenever that may be is only your decision.

Wishing you loads of luck with your pregnancy and your horses. Any time off you do have will be sure to go quickly and you'll look back on it as nothing.
Ps... I have a cracking sports pony colt for sale if you're looking for a future dressage pony 😉

If you ask enough people you will find women who only got of a horse to sneeze a baby out and we’re back competing 2 minutes later, and women who were the best in the world in their discipline but stopped riding when pregnant and never got on a horse ever again. (I have met at least one example of each extreme.) Most people come somewhere in the middle and the key is to realise that you do what is right for you and not to compare yourself to how others do things.

I had an 18hh show hunter when I was pregnant with my first. I rode him till I was 7 months pregnant and was still taking him out to shows, but I found it tiring and lost enthusiasm for anything more than a gentle plod down the lane. I did have a lesson booked with a big name dressage rider when I was about 3 months. She loudly told me that being 3 months pregnant was no excuse for being tired, she rode right up till her planned c-section date, which was timed to have her back in the saddle so she could go out and win a World Cup qualifier 2 weeks later. To this day I wish I’d had a good comeback to her - making anyone feel inadequate while they are pregnant should not be at the top of a teacher”s list of priorities.

I eventually got someone in to compete my horse for me. She did a much better job than I could in my state, and everyone was happier - me, the horse and the rider. What helped with my second pregnancy was knowing that you could make a plan for something, but very few plans are set in stone, even for professionals, and you can change things to suit how your pregnancy is going, and you don’t need to worry about losing face because you change plans. Just tell people ‘I’m doing things this way because it is what is best for me, my baby and the horse.’

Stopped at about 5/6 months as I just couldn’t ride as well (AM dressage, sitting trot became big problem) and my trainer kept him ticking over plus I lunged, long lined and did hacks on foot off road. Back on after 3 weeks and episiotomy, once I got my strength and fitness back I rode better than ever, lots of things I struggled with before just clicked and has stayed like that since! you’ll work it out and what works for you will fall into place