Am i being unreasonable about not wanting dd swapping ponies every week?

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Some advice please! Dd is in an intermediate riding group, riding for 1.5 years weekly so jumping cross rails, cantering etc. We joined a new school a few months ago as there wasn't room for her to move up a group at the old one. She rode one pony that likes to follow the others' lead for a good few lessons when she dirst joined BUT is great to ride when you get the hang of getting her to overtake etc which my daughter did with a few weeks practice, no easy feat either as it appears none of the others in her group have managed it. She was doing well, consolidating her basics, getting to grips with cantering to jump consistently etc on this horse (albeit with the challenges of a slightly strong willed pony). For whatever reason she was then switched to a pony that also follows all the time AND just does what the horse in front does so there is nothing for her to do really, it canters when that one in front does etc so no chance for her to do anything! Plus even an experienced rider struggled to get this horse to take the lead for any independant practice. Then the next week a different pony again but this one was so grumpy that when she tried to get it to do anything it bit her then threw her off, twice, then went back to trample her the second time. Different horses, different issues, we are refusing to ride the thrower again for now although they have tried to get her to.... the one currently bothering dd most is the one that copies horse in front/instructors verbal instruction, as the instructor said they use it with the tots classes because of this. Not sure if I should be ok paying for small group lessons where she is just sitting on a horse while it does all the work and she doesn't get to actually practice her skills. Maybe Dd needs to perserve, but then she'll just be on a diffrerent horse next time anyway...
So the next week she was switched to a different pony again. Again, by changing horse it was almost like going back to basics, fair enough and perhaps to be expected (yet the instructor was really exasperated at her saying how well she rode on the first horse and asking what was wrong with her, despite praising the girl who never changes pony...) but she was really determined and challenged herself and got him cantering by the end.
A lot of the less confident girls dont like him because you can't just sit there and the horse does the work BUT she found she could master him and get him going well the second week (after we asked for him again), cantering and jumping cross rails etc. She even wrote in her journal about her goals for the next lesson, to get as good on him as she was on the first pony she rode for a good few weeks. So we asked for this horse once more, for practice. Next lesson comes around and she's back to the horse that just listens to the instructor /copies horse in front. Dd was in tears, she feels like she's not being allowed to really make progress, the instructor even told her to stop challenging herself and just have 'fun'! That's great but I can't think of any other sports that discourage challenging yourself?? The worst thing is one other girl in her lessons gets to have the same horse every week because her parents are friends with the stable owner!
Dd has summed it up herself, she doesn't want the same horse all the time, she just wants a horse she can actually perfect her basic skills on and gain mastery of (at her level) before she skips to another, then each time she changes she wants to master that horse a bit before moving on. She doesn't feel she can measure her own performance and make progress changing horses each week, she also thinks some of the ponies are difficult but rideable and some are unrideable without years of experience (and no one with experience would want to ride them anyway!) and I tend to agree. In fact I don't know if this is worth the money or if i'm just throwing £20 notes down the drain (lol, isn't that horses anyway) paying for a lesson where she sits and follows the other horses round with the instructor saying "well done" when she and I know the horse is doing it not her (and she feels patronised and a bit upset). Or am I wrong and this is useful? I'm definitely open to hearing this is fine as I'm not sure what to do next tbh! Because after asking to only practice on one horse for a few weeks at a time or one of three preferred horses, we then had a phonecall telling us that they would be rotating the horses each week and requests of ANY kind were unreasonable + unfair to the horses.
I see there's probably higher demand for some horses (though not one of the difficult ones she likes so a bit strange). One of these is always in use by the same girl each week...hm, so a different rule for some. But am I being unreasonable/ignorant about the learning process to think they should change less if she feels it isn't helping her progress (which is her big concern) or is knocking her confidence. There must be a balance between riders needing to learn and horses' welfare surely? Or is the problem mostly just Dd's perception/ability?
If we owned a horse she would be getting that depth of experience on one horse while also riding others now and again to consolidate her learning, unfortunately I don't have the huge amount of time and commitment at the moment needed to care for a horse right now. We could change schools but is this a normal situation at riding schools? Maybe private lessons? Or are Dd and I being ignorant/unreasonable? Thanks! Hoping for an outside perspective!

Oops essay! Sorry!

I used to switch horses every week. After a year I knew them and their quirks so it really didn't matter but I did love the 'difficult' horse no one else wanted to ride so rode him most weeks.

It'll be down to how much work the horses have done that week etc. But worth speaking to her instructor about it.

It's pretty standard at every riding school that they can't promise students the pony they want, preferences may be taken into account but on a busy weekend day it is a mammoth task as it is matching up ponies to lessons taking into account height, weight and experience levels of the riders and making sure the ponies get rest breaks, without also trying to make sure little Suzy gets her favourite and Tommy doesn't have to ride Polo etc etc. I hear what you say about one of the other DC in the group always getting the same pony but there may be good reason for that or it may be pure coincidence, it sounds a bit like your DD is one of the more confident ones so that may be why they are switching her more often...

I'm afraid crying because she didn't get the one she wanted may have made your daughter seem quite bratty, I appreciate that she wanted to practice and improve and wasn't just being spoilt but she needs to see that she can learn something from every pony she rides. All the top riders (whoever she looks up to, Pippa Funnell or Charlotte Dujardin or whoever) will ride many many horses every day and they are successful because they try their best on every single one. Even the example you give of the pony who just follows the others, there is lots she can learn there. E.g. there is no pony so badly trained that they will never listen to the rider at all, yes riding school ponies are set in their ways and stubborn but she can 100% practice using her half halts as they go around in a ride to get him to slow down rather than chase the one in front, essential skill to have. It might not work perfectly right away but trial and error and she will see some improvement. Or she can use the fact she doesn't have to worry about his pace/tempo to focus purely on her position and effectiveness, like a lunge lesson.

I actually think only ever riding the one pony is a hindrance for children who own their own, bad habits can become engrained and they can lose confidence riding new ponies. Besides as you say owning your own is not an option for you,as it isn't for the vast majority, so I think she really needs to get used to the idea of riding lots of different ones and not get frustrated or upset if she doesn't always achieve whatever 'challenge' she sets herself, riding is meant to be fun after all which I guess is what her instructor was trying to say? Sounds like your DD is maybe a bit of a perfectionist or she has a very clear idea of how she wants each lesson to go and needs tactics to manage her emotions if things don't go quite to plan??

I would however say that a few things you mention about the school/teacher don't seem great, the 'thrower' sounds awful, not sure I've ever seen a horse go back to deliberately trample on a fallen rider... And the teacher should be helping her understand how she can get the best out of each horse and herself, giving constructive feedback every session (not just empty praise or generic criticism) so if she isn't getting that then by all means change teacher or school, this teacher may be more on the 'take it easy, follow the leader' approach where your DD needs more stretch and challenge...?

Hope you sort it!

I was always told every horse teaches you something new & I found that to be true. Maybe she could appreciate the different skills she is developing to ride each different horse?

I don’t think changing ponies is necessarily a bad thing but I would just look for another school as this one doesn’t sound like it’s going to help your daughter progress. Some kids are happy to just follow along which sounds like what the instructor is expecting.

You can’t guarantee that your daughter will get to ride the same pony every week. Most riding schools will have X hours a day the horse or pony can do and chances are the ones your daughter likes are the ones that a lot of other children of similar ability like too. To be fair to everyone they have to have a go.

It sounds like you would get more of what you want from a private lesson , be that at this school or a different one . I do think it’s a case of finding an instructor that suits you .

The best way to learn is to ride as many horses/ponies as you can, they are all different. Most of us just have one. We have a very talented young rider at our yard who competes at a high level. They help me with my new one, and yesterday schooled 6 all at different dressage levels.

I manage to ride one and I am tired.

Mix it up. Private, group lessons, hacks, riding when on holiday (I used to ride in the U.K. when we went to Devon for holidays)
Ride as much as she can, as many horses as possible. I think I've probably ridden in excess of 250 different horses, and it's helped me become a much better rider. I also used to ride at different riding schools for different things

As others have said, you can’t guarantee the same pony every week

There was an awkward pony when my daughter first leant to ride. He heart would sink every time he was given to her because he just wouldn’t do anything if he didn’t fancy it. He taught her more about riding than any of the others did.

Maybe private lessons would be more suitable - tbh, I found that when DD reaches a certain level, group lessons just weren’t enough.

We did a mix of private and group lessons - she went out on hacks, she did stable management and that sort of thing as well

It is good to ride as many different ones as you can. DD has her own now but she’s always riding other ponies as well - she’s a good rider but small and light (with balls of iron and a Velcro bum) so she gets asked to help out quite a bit with youngsters at our yard - it’s definitely improved her riding.

Riding as many different horses as possible is great experience and the more you do this, the quicker you can adapt to each one. However, the pony who went back and trampled her just sounds dangerous. I would either switch schools or try for private or semi-private lessons at a less busy time if that is at all possible. IMO you're quite within your rights to refuse certain horses if you think they are dangerous - but generally stables will assign horses and as Maxelly says, that's difficult enough without people getting to specify which one they want.

I am a riding instructor and own a school, personally I agree changing horses every week is a big no! Every horse is different and trying to progress when you've only got a limited amount of time to get used to this horse is very difficult. I tend to say we will do a few weeks on 1 horse learn something and then change to a different 1 to learn or be challenged in a different way. So yes it's good to ride different horses 100% but not every week unless your advanced and able to feel and adapt your riding quickly

I would welcome the chance to be able to change every week or so as to become a competent rider you need to gain as much skill as possible under various conditions.
With that said where does she see herself? Show jumping, Cross country, Dressage or just happy to hack out?
One route you may consider would be getting a 6 month full loan of what I would call a kick on with private lessons then when the loan is up hand them back and look for a slightly more suitable horse for where she wants to end up. This way she can keep the consistency of one horse and the ability to change frequently.