Horse grown too big! Dilemma...

[lizzielou80]

I've owned my horse for 5 years (from a foal) and he is the kindest horse, but he's now standing at over 18hh! He's an ID x TB and a real gent, but he's still only 5, so he's very powerful and doesn't always know what he's doing with himself. I love him to bits, but recently friends have been saying maybe to part with him.

I had a serious accident 7 years ago and broke my back, so I have to be really careful, and not the most confident anymore. I had a friend break him in and he's been bringing him on for me. However, I have ridden him a few times now, and he's definitely 'my horse', but I am very mindful of his size, power and the fact he's only 5!

Do I send him to a professional and hope that I can ride him when he's older (very expensive route), carry on as I am and hope I dont scare myself, or loan him out and get something more suitable for myself? I keep thinking, if I went to buy a horse for myself as I am, I would never pick an 18hh, 5 year old, so why am I trying to ride him?? So confused :(

I feel your pain. It's a bit like families who get a dog that they then realise is too 'high energy' for them. They love the dog but they are maybe not the best match for him.

I would have a quiet chat with your horse... seriously. See the book "What Horses Say" to give you a lead on that. Tell him you love him dearly but he has become a bit too big and powerful for you and that you feel that he might be more comfortable with another loving owner who can match his strength and size better. See where that goes and how you both feel. Some horses are happy with moving on to a different owner.

Having said that, if you do decide to part with him, please be a total control freak and ensure he goes to a knowledgeable and loving home. Personally I would check out the new home before agreeing to the sale. An honest buyer will not object to that and will value the care you are taking. And tell the horse that this is what you would do for him.

Good luck and please post to let us know your decision.

It’s a difficult one.

I would imagine the age rather than the height would be more of a problem. A five year old is more likely to mess around, have a crisis of confidence or be full of energy than a ten year old. But then again if he has a good temperament then he might be more reliable than a flighty 10yo.

What do you want to do with him? How do you feel at the thought of riding him? If you are scared it would be best to find him a new home. If you feel confident and he hasn’t put a foot wrong why not keep riding him and see how it goes.

If he is a nice boy would keep him, but get good support, training for you both and maybe someone to take him out and about, if you want him to compete.

I am approaching 60, with a dodgy hip and have shared a 17h+ WB mare, who was bred to compete and had only ever been ridden by professionals, with my youngest daughter, for the past 3 years.

She isn’t what we would have chosen (we ‘inherited’ her from one of my older DCs who works with horses). At the time my youngest DC (then 14) had barely sat on a horse since she was 12 and I hadn’t ridden outside an indoor school for several years. Despite her size, our mare really looks after us both and has become fantastic family horse. She loves her low key life and happily schools, jumps and hacks for miles.

Things that helped us were getting decent of training, taking things slowly so that we built a really good partnership with her (DD spent the first year mostly hacking) and having her still compete sometimes with pro rider (which she thoroughly enjoys).

The two year old fine boned Arab x warm blood that I bought to make 15 hh( he was just 14 hh when I purchased him ) grew to be over 16.2 and medium to heavy build!
He bucked me off when I backed him breaking my wrist and damaging my back after throwing me onto a barbed wire fence. I was luckily wearing a back protector.
Twenty two years on I had to say goodbye to him when he was diagnosed with abdominal cancer, he was one of the best horses I ever owned!
He was way too big for me , wouldn’t do what I wanted, he was terrified of water so I couldn’t use him for eventing , but we were meant to be.
If you really don’t want to part with your giant don’t, he won’t be five forever, try getting a loan for him.
Having said that if you know in your heart that it’s not a good fit for you and him then it’s the right decision to find a better match for him and you. Good luck with your decision x

Sympathise with your dilemma. I think of your options I'd be either loaning him out or cautiously deciding to keep him for myself. What were your aims/aspirations when you bought him and what are they now? Are you looking to compete or just potter around?

I suppose it is possible he will go through a phase of the 'kevins' when he hits teenage years shortly and he does sound a big boy to be dealing with if he gets a bit full of himself (not all horses do this of course). There would certainly be no shame at all in loaning him out to a good home and getting yourself something to have fun with. Or of course in keeping him for the summer and have fun taking it gradually and getting him out and about, see how it goes? You could always make a decision in the autumn?

Sorry I've not helped you at all there ... do you have an instructor who you can trust to be really honest with you who you could ask for advice? What does the pro who broke him in think?

Gosh I’d keep him and seek support maybe another person to share with him to ride (obviously getting the person +++) he sounds wonderful

I wouldn't part with him. You're safer on a 5yo that knows an trusts you over an unknown older or smaller horse you buy not knowing exactly what you're getting I'd have thought.

I think I'm your shoes I might be doing loads of in hand and groundwork stuff. The greater the bond the more you'll understand each other and the better you'll feel in the saddle when you feel the time is right maybe?

I recently bought a safe, ploddy 10 yr old cob from the field. A real put your granny on this horse. For the first few months whilst i worked him, got some weight off him and got him fit he was so laid back you could put anybody on him. Now he is almost fit he's a different horse. It seems he was kept fat and unfit to manage him. He's now full of himself and much happier but a much more challenging ride. I suppose what i'm trying to say is nothing is definate or predictable. If you already have a good bond with your gentle giant why not keep that and see if you can both develop that more. It's often easier to feel safer on a big horse, there is plenty around you to cling to if you wobble. A smaller fine horse can ditch with little effort. An 18hh giant has enough support there so you can ride out most things. xxx

Dds horse is 17hh. We've had him since he was 5. He took time, lots of time, to really grow into himself. He's 9 now and took dd3 who is 12 round a 90cm hunter trial a couple of months ago. He was as good as gold, the only problem she had was doing the gate .

He's much calmer than lots of ponies i know! But a big horse can be intimidating, i know.