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Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Does anyone else sometimes just feel deflated and a failure!

14 replies

insecure123 · 07/02/2019 08:38

I am exercising my friends ex racer who is a little fresh! We were having spooking in the school issues which we have resolved and I am now focussing on building his fitness up. I am moving onto his trot now. his trot is very very rushed - he is quite unbalanced so I was just starting to work on that! I had great plans for a schooling session last night to really work on his trot, trying to get him balanced and keeping it controlled using seat/body without pulling on him. But it all just seemed to go wrong last night! We had to share the school for the first ten minutes which was fine - worked out well actually because he kept listening to the other lady lunging her horse so I was doing lots of half halts etc to get him focussing on me and it worked a treat! But then a dog ran into the field at the side of the school, then a dog ran into the school.....then just as we got over those frights (he doesn't do anything major but is very spooky and jumpy) I done some ground work to calm him, get his confidence back a bit and as I went to get back on him the quad went up the field!!!!! Now I have to say he done BRILLIANTLY dealing with these thing. Just little jumps and looks didn't do anything silly and the positive I am taking from this is that these are all things he needs to get used to anyway and he handled them well. BUT because it kind of screwed our session up a but in terms of the work I wanted to do I did feel a bit deflated afterwards. And I still am. I really hope it doesn't set him back too much and I will be back to our original aim tonight - working on a good controlled trot but I guess I am just looking for a bit reassurance that others sometimes feel a bit bleurgh after a schooling session.

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OldSpeclkledHen · 07/02/2019 13:47

It happens... don't beat yourself up!! Well done for riding though... mines just a bloody expensive pet currently as I'm too bluergh about the weather 😳

He sounds a nice chap though xx

insecure123 · 07/02/2019 14:15

Thanks for replying. I don't know why I am so worried really but I just really don't want to let this boy don't. He is an absolute sweeties - but just very spooky and jumpy! I am besotted with him though. the weather doesn't really bother me unless it is raining as I am quite short on time for all the drying off of the horse and the like!

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Herbyvor · 07/02/2019 14:18

That would be enough to put off the most confident schoolmaster! You are doing a good job, some days you have to write off and start again.

I can’t cope with sharing the school if someone is lunging anyway.

Namechangedforthis79 · 07/02/2019 14:20

It's not a failure though is it? It sounds like the desensitisation was more useful to him than the trot work. It sounds like there's an awful lot of positives to take away from the session.

insecure123 · 07/02/2019 14:21

It certainly isn't the easiest but in the end it was probably good for him to focus on me even with other distractions going on! hopefully tonight will be a success!

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insecure123 · 07/02/2019 14:25

Thank you namechangedforthis. It actually did! At first I was a bit peed off (in the heat of the moment) but actually it was all very good for him!

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maxelly · 07/02/2019 14:27

God, all the time. I'd say far more often I get off feeling frustrated about our achievements/rate of progress than I do feeling fully satisfied (partially to do with my self-critical personality though!). Right now my mare seems to be regressing and doing some odd things (humping/bucking) which I'm convinced is to do with some kind of underlying physical issue whereas my instructor is sure it's just behavioural, so I have that confusion/guilt element added in, I've ended more than one session in tears this month and she's currently on the easy list pending investigations!

With your boy, am I right in thinking this is a relatively new ride for you? If so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, it certainly sounds as though nothing terrible happened despite all the chaos around you, and even if you didn't achieve your aim then you made progress on your relationship with and knowledge of the horse.

Apologies if this is very wide of the mark but it sounds as though you are being quite gentle/cautious with him (e.g. you mention jumping off and reverting to ground work when he turned spooky/tense) - this is absolutely fine and sensible given the circumstances, but it might be worth thinking through the fact that sometimes with horses, things have to get a bit worse before they get better, or in other words if you fix one problem another pops up. Sometimes you just have to persist and keep asking the question despite not getting exactly the answer you were after. So for instance my mare's big issue is tension, when eventually she softens and relaxes as asked, she will tend to drop behind the leg and lose impulsion. When sent forward again she will immediately tense and stress and feels like we're back to square 1. But I do just have to keep on correcting her, over and over sometimes, until she gets what I'm asking for, even to a small degree. Then the next session, repeat the whole process again until she remembers....also ironically enough I've found (when she's not broken) that spending some time on things which particularly stress her (like canter transitions) actually help, because then when we return to things she finds easier she's more relaxed, like she's relived she can actually do what I want!

So do try not to get disheartened if you don't make linear progress is what I'm trying to say, it doesn't really work like that! As you get more confident in him, don't be afraid to push him (and yourself!) a bit to find out what your limits are, you may be surprised. Good luck

insecure123 · 07/02/2019 14:48

Thank you Maxelly. Yes I have only been riding him about a month. 3-4 nights a week but due to his low fitness and time constraints not for long periods. he is also my first ride of an ex racer (though he has been ridden sporadically for many years since his race days)

I agree with what oyu are saying. When I first started riding him he was incredibly spooky at one end of the school because of cows in that field and we worked through it and through it and got over that! i can't tell you how happy I was that night at that simple bit of progress!

I do some in hand and ridden work (and the odd pamper night Grin to try and build up an overall bond/connection rather than just tack up ride and go home (which his owner and the yard would be fine with - its just not right imo) I have been known to in hand him fo ten minutes only when I have been really short on time.

I probably am a bit sensitive towards him than I would ordinarily be. i think this is because he is quite a sensitive boy and really needs/takes confidence from his rider. I like you have a very self critical personality too! I had a little "panic yank" on his mouth a couple weeks back and really beat myself up for it because it is something I never ever do and its the worse thing to do to a horse like this.....but I think we have all felt the sudden "f* I nearly went out the side door"

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Namechangedforthis79 · 07/02/2019 15:20

I think as you're still getting to know him, he is unfit and it sounds like he hasn't done much work you may be trying to trot before you can walk - literally! That is to say you might be trying to take things to a more advanced level than he is comfortable with even though trot shouldn't really be considered advanced, trying to get a controlled and balanced trot when it sounds like he might struggle sometimes just to walk around the school, you might be aiming bit high. It sounds like you are doing a good job building his trust in you so perhaps you just need to aim a bit lower with what you're happy with in a session. I'm no expert but personally I think that any progress however small at this stage should be celebrated. That's not a criticism by the way. If you get the building blocks of your friendship with him right now so he learns to trust you, you'll be able to work up to asking more of him.

insecure123 · 07/02/2019 15:34

Thanks namechanged. yes that was my plan. Build a relationship rather than just see him as a "free ride" so to speak. We only really started trot work end of last week. Was focussing on building trust and sorting out the spooking. But maybe I am expecting a bit too much of him and need to rein it back a bit!

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Belenus · 12/02/2019 18:27

I currently have an ex racehorse on loan. One of the most valuable things she has taught me is that sometimes, today is not the day for this, and that's OK. Sometimes she just isn't in the mood, and neither am I. It's fine, it will happen another time. Or maybe not.

I would not expect a balanced trot at this stage. You may find things easier once we have more daylight and you can hack out more. Long walks up hills will build the muscle he needs to be able to balance himself. Also, I find with racehorses that schooling outside the school is often easier. Out hacking I can set the mare into an easy trot rhythm. She has the space and can see she has the space. I also sing to her to get the rhythm and relaxation right.

In the school, I would only ask for a short amount of trot. If you get halfway down the longside in a good rhythm, come back to walk. Build up from there. The temptation is to keep going when the horse may just need a break. Don't despair though. It actually sounds as if you're doing a great job building a bond, and keeping going through all the spookiness. The trot work will follow in its own time.

insecure123 · 13/02/2019 08:03

Thank you Belenus. Since this post we have had 2 succesful (small progress) schooling sessions and a few more boding sessions and I am feeling much more positive. You are so right. Sometimes it is just a case of "this isn't going to happen today" and when we get to that I just move to something I know we can do well together so that we finish on a positive. I am absolutely besotted with this animal and just want to do right by him!

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insecure123 · 14/02/2019 12:09

Another fantastic schooling session last night :) Small progress makes me so so happy! I really can be so hard on myself

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Namechangedforthis79 · 14/02/2019 12:32

I'm glad to hear that things are progressing well.

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