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Original poster

Sorry, upsetting thread but I could really do with some advice

72 replies

shamalamalam · 13/09/2018 19:23

I am so sorry to ask and I really hope I don’t upset anyone, but I really don’t know what to do.

Sadly, DD’s pony has come to the end of his road. It’s all been a bit of a shock as although he’s a slightly older gent, he’s been enjoying his semi-retirement with DD until fairly recently.

The vet has recommended we use a gun rather than injection as pony’s circulation isn’t brilliant (plus, from a practical point of view, it gives us more options as to what we can do with him when it’s over) but is happy for us to decide either way

To say that DD, who is just 13, is devastated is a total understatement, she adores the bones of him, they have an amazing bond and is adamant on being with him right to the end.

This is the first time we’ve ever had to do this so I have no idea what whatsoever to expect.

We have to do what’s best for pony, but there is absolutely no way I’m willing to let DD witness what I imagine will happen if he is PTS with the gun. DH or I will be with him in any case.

I really don’t know what to do for the best - for pony, and DD.

She’s finding the whole idea of a gun quite shocking and worse than if it was an injection if you see what I mean.

Any advice would be very gratefully received

Thank you

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 13/09/2018 20:58

I saw an old horse put to sleep by gun over 30 years ago and I can still see it now.
It wasn’t my horse and he was an evil bitey git but watching him drop was awful and one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.
I would really try to put your daughter off seeing that, I have a 13 year old and they aren’t as grown up as they think

OrcinusOrca · 13/09/2018 21:11

My horse was PTS when I was 16. My aunt was really sketchy about it and now I see why, pretty sure I thought it was via injection but now I think back I don't think she explicitly said Sad I was unhappy at the time and wished I had gotten to say goodbye, but now I understand why she kept me away and only told me he was unwell and had been PTS after. I 100% would have insisted I was there at the time, but after this thread I am so grateful I wasn't. I am 26 now. As much as you could tell me it would be the right thing to do, I just don't think I'd have it in me even now to be there for PTS by gun. Huge respect and admiration for those of you who have managed to put them first like that and go through it. So selfless.

So sorry you're on this road too OP Thanks

Original poster
shamalamalam · 13/09/2018 21:12

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences Flowers

have a 13 year old and they aren’t as grown up as they think

Definitely.

She doesn’t want him to be alone with someone he doesn’t know so wants to be there for him right until the end, which is all very noble but it’s just way too much for her to witness. At 13 she’s not able to fully understand the consequences of witnessing it either if you see what I mean. She knows what will happen, but she’s all ‘I’ll be fine’

We’ve promised her one of us will stay with him as long as we can

The vet has recommended the local hunt and we can call them to come over whenever we are ready. We were going to leave them to spend the day together and then one of us take her home before we call the hunt. I want her well away from the yard when it happens.

Thanks again

OP posts:
Pebblespony · 13/09/2018 21:13

The injection route on an old pony with circulation problems will not be as calm an peaceful as a dog drifting off. Go the gun route but get her out of the way first. An animal of mine died in front of me when I was young and it has never left me. I was quite traumatised.

bigsighall · 13/09/2018 21:16

I’ve had a couple where I’ve used the hunt. I’ve lead them over, stuck their head in the nicest bucket of feed and handed over the lead rope. The hunts people are extremely professional and calm and my horses were not stressed at all. It is loud. I stayed back until after they were winched. The hunt I used recommended I didn’t stand with them anyway.

bigsighall · 13/09/2018 21:17

Oh and FYI, I needed to pre book the hunt. It wasn’t a call and turn up on the day job (phone them and talk over what is expected)

Floralnomad · 13/09/2018 21:18

I’ve had 4 pts by injection , including an elderly Shetland with poor circulation and they’ve all been very peaceful , I’ve been with all of them to the end and there is no way I could have had them shot . We’ve also had them all individually cremated and returned to us .

Moonflower12 · 13/09/2018 21:38

Oh poor you and poor DD. We still have my now 23year old's first pony. (Touch wood) she still a few years in her but it will still break my DDs heart. I have had 2 put to sleep by injection. One reared while I held her- luckily she was only 12hh so not too bad to hold. Our 16hh just slumped. But very upsetting even as a grown adult who knew what to expect.

If your pony has field mates please let them see him after he's pts. It helps them massively. Our horse's friend's all stood guard over her all night until she was taken the next day. The vet advised me to do this. I'm so glad he did. The man who collected her said there is almost a set pattern of their mourning.
Sending you bigs hugs.

frostyfingers · 13/09/2018 22:13

I’ve had two put down and the second was with the gun, and I agree that it is shockingly and thankfully quick. The horse was there with his head in the bucket one minute and gone the next, I’d choose it over injection every time. You just need to recite “they know nothing about it” to yourself over and over, and I would agree that there’s no need for you or your daughter to be there. Whoever does it will be experienced with horses and sympathetic. I would say that if you have another horse or pony then let them see the body if at all possible.

I’m sorry, it’s a very hard thing to do but it is the final kindness for your friend.

fenneltea · 13/09/2018 22:15

I'd definitely not let your daughter be there when the deed is done. I've witnessed both methods go wrong, and it is traumatising; and sorry to be graphic, but there can be a lot of blood sometimes with a shooting (and sometimes hardly any.) Not something for her to witness with a much loved pony.

Cutting some mane or tail means she could have some jewellery made from it as a keepsake, she needs happy memories, not haunting ones. So sorry that you are all facing this.

CatWithARabbit · 13/09/2018 22:40

So very sorry you have to face this. Please don't let your daughter be there. Last year two very special horses at our yard had to be pts, and I was there for both. They were injected and one was instant, the other not. So a gun will be instant but I think it would be too traumatic for her. When I think of these horses I still see them drop, it's shocking. Spare her that and let her keep her lovely memories. Keep some mane and tail and get some Jewellery made.

snowpo · 13/09/2018 22:43

I always vowed I would be there at the end with my horse. But I knew I could never hold her for the gun. I would be in bits and she would know something was wrong. That left me with injection but having researched and spoken to my vet, I decided the gun was best for her.
I knew she would know nothing about it and my vet nurse friend led her out and held her so there were no tears or distress while it happened.
I had the hunt, they are really experienced, compassionate and quick.

Maybe explain to your DD that it will be in the pony's interest that she is not there. She will be upset and he will sense this, if someone who can remain calm and composed can stay with him, he'll have no idea what's going to happen.

Saffy101 · 14/09/2018 07:34

A very old pony we had was actually munching a mouthful of her favourite treats when she was shot, again she didn't know a thing about it.

FlamingJuno · 14/09/2018 07:40

We're a professional horse household. Our preference is shooting over injection. Injection is far too unpredictable and takes too long. Definitely don't let her witness it or be there when it happens. In 25 years of marriage my DH has never permitted me to witness a horse being pts. It is surprisingly traumatic to watch such a big animal collapse in death - even a pony.
If I were you, and I know this is infantilising her, I'd have it done when she was at school and tell her afterwards.

Miladymilord · 14/09/2018 07:44

I would tell her that the only time they could do it was when she was at school. Then that takes the decision away from her. Sad times Sad

britnay · 14/09/2018 09:29

Its a very difficult thing to witness. I would not recommend your daughter being there. Would your yard owner be willing to do it for you?

I've done it for a couple of my liveries. It is very quick, very loud and they are instantly gone. It is not very dignified when they are dragged onto the truck. There is only a very small wound. However it does end up being very messy, and I certainly haven't let any other owners been about while I've had to swill off a lot of blood etc into the grass.

britnay · 14/09/2018 10:16

Also, sometimes, after they are shot, even though they are dead, there can be a surge of electric signals down their nerves and this can cause muscles to move such as jaw clenching and legs moving as if they are galloping. This can be distressing too.

Original poster
shamalamalam · 14/09/2018 10:17

Thanks all

DD came down this morning and said she’d thought about it and that she was happy for one of us to be there if we insisted she couldn’t. She didn’t want him to be with a stranger so as long as someone was it would be OK.

We’ve promised we’ll stay as long as we can and we’ve promised we will tell her exactly what’s happening as she doesn’t want us to spring anything on her

I’ve spoken to the hunt today and we’ve tentatively pencilled in late Sunday afternoon so they’ll have most of the weekend together.

She wants him to be out in his paddock if the weather is nice, not sure how we’ll manage it as vehicle access isn’t brilliant but I’ll speak to our yard owner later and see what we can do.

Thanks all. Just need to tell DD now Sad

OP posts:
Saffy101 · 14/09/2018 10:27

All sounds very sensible. Good luck. x

britnay · 14/09/2018 10:52

It really needs to be done somewhere where the wagon can get to. It'll be a big 7.5 ton wagon, so it will need to be easily accessible. Is there another paddock that could be used?

I have a certain paddock that I use as the gate is just off the farm track, but it is away from the stables and parking, so owners can be away from the area. I always email owners and neighbours to let them know what time it is happening, so that they can avoid being there. You want to be doing it at a time when there are least likely to be people around.

Haireverywhere · 14/09/2018 11:01

Good plan OP.

So sorry.

frostyfingers · 14/09/2018 12:08

That sounds very sensible - just to say when mine was done the person doing it didn’t want me holding the leadrope. He just said “give him a pat, and his bucket of feed then come and stand behind me”. As I was walking away he did the deed so I didn’t see it happen, he also said not to look for a moment or two because I might find the movement distressing. DH & I were holding each other for a few moments and then the chap said he’s all quiet, I’ll leave you together and let me know when you’re ready. Shocking though the sound and the suddenness is, it was as good as it could be in the end. I left them to it while they were moving him and by the time I went back there was no indication that anything had happened.

Chances are if the hunt are doing it, they will use a trailer with a winch so accessibility isn’t quite so important - ask them what they need so you’ve aren’t having to make decisions at the time.

There’s nothing wrong with lots of crying either, both at the time and afterwards - I cried at random moments for days afterwards, it helps.

Look after yourselves.

Original poster
shamalamalam · 14/09/2018 12:50

Thanks

I’ll give them a ring and check.

We’ll figure something out, access to any of the fields or his stable isn’t brilliant. His paddock is up a little narrow lane, easy to get a trailer up but too tight for a lorry

His is horrible, I was very pragmatic about it earlier but now I’ve made the call it all feels very real. It has to be done, but Sad

Poor DD, it’s going to be a rough weekend

Flowers to everyone who has been through it

OP posts:
Frouby · 14/09/2018 13:00

You have my sympathy. I was you last year.

I always chose the gun too. Have been there 3 times now and all were incredibly quick. It's shocking and brutal and stays with you. But the pony doesn't know a thing.

Last summer it was our beloved dpony. Dd was also 13 and distraught. I gave her the choice to be there on the yard but out of sight, there stood with me and dpony or not there at all. She chose not there at all. She said goodbye to dpony the day before and dpony was done while she was at school.

Dpony went very quickly, too quickly to finish her apple. The absolute worst part for me is the 'galloping'they do. It's just nerve endings but it's distressing to watch so don't. I held her, she dropped and I turned away. The knackerman told me when she was still and I said my last goodbyes.

The first one I saw haunted me for years. I am a bit older and more pragmatic noe but if I had been 13 I would have been traumatised. I think at 13 she is too young. Am so sorry you are going through this, it's shitty xx

HairyAntoinette · 14/09/2018 13:05

I've had both options.

For me the gun was worse as immediately afterwards the throat was cut. So very much blood.

With injection my vet was very generous with the sedative. So he lay down quickly and gently and I was able to hold him until the second injection and death came. It was actually very peaceful.

I stayed for both of mine because I needed to be sure it was "done". In the olden days it was not unknown for them to be loaded up and sold on elsewhere.