Keeping in contact with new owners?

[Shakymakey]

We bought our mare 9 months ago. The previous owner had her since she was wee and was heart broken at selling. We agreed to stay in contact. I feel really mean saying this, but i dont think i want to anymore. I cant even explain why. The guy has visited 4 times and messages semi regularly for updates. I KNOW thats not all that much really, but it feels as if the horse is not ours. I think i thought i was easing the transition and contact would naturally peter out. But it doesnt seem to be.

Is this a common arrangement? Ive never kept in contact before

Yy krusty i hear you! Ours wanted to come to shows, look after him when we go on holiday, visit when sick....it feels so 'heavy'

Plus, has visited whilst i wasnt there. With prior arrangement. But it was ponies birthday, he really wanted to visit and i was away with work

Surely the visits won't be helping him move on? I had to give up a dog as a kid and we kept in touch with the owners until he died but I think if I had visited, the emotional heartbreak all over again would have killed me!

I agree ginger

Is the pony older by any chance too actually?

Might be that, like many people these days, he can't be bothered to spend his money on the upkeep of a horse he has no use for, but didn't want to let it go either. So sells it on for someone else to pay for but wants to maintain contact. Best of both worlds then.

Shaky that all sounds far too much! And turning up when you are not there, to visit an animal that is nothing to do with him, is taking the piss! Before you know it, he will be taking over again. Put your foot down!

If you established some better boundaries might you feel differently?. Could it be a positive thing to have an extra pair of hands to call on from time to time that you know would have your horses best interests at heart?. For instance walking injured or poorly horses to recovery is quite time consuming. If you could guide things to a sort of horsey grandparent role that you felt in control of it could have plusses. I've had to let go and you always care about them and feel reassured when you get news about them. I found over time i relaxed and realized they were ok and then moved on. I'm just about to go through it again and I know for me knowing i will have news and minimal contact is what enables me to let them go. I should imagine it's far harder if you 've bred them. Hope you find a way to deal with it that works for everyone