Nope they aren’t probably unhelpful to your current situation but they really don’t have to be. The best thing you can do is to keep your head down and get on with your own horse only-easily said than done I know but it is possible-good luck!

Ps I have the dominant mare and the escapee gelding so I promise I get it.

No, they aren't all like that although unfortunately even on nice yards the presence of one odd person can change the whole dynamic. IMO though it is important that the owner keeps on top of things and is sensible. I don't like the sound of that field!

I have the Captain Sensible gelding although these days he's more the old, retired boy who needs careful looking after. And whilst he's retired, the yard owner is happy for me to ride any of her three riding horses as it helps us both out. So there are nice, friendly yards out there!

I've just lost the grazing on our yard as bastard self-harming TB has been blamed for upsetting the herd. Mix of mares and geldings which is beyond bloody stupid so I now have a lame and footsore horse who can't go out.

All yards turn.

The only sage advice I give my DD is to buy somewhere with land so you can keep your horse at home.

OP Where in the North West are you. I'm on a nice yard and have experience of several in the area. PM if you'd like some more info.

45+ years of horses and God knows how many livery years of all types big small scruffy luxurious expensive cheap etc I’ve learnt that no where is perfect, few do everything they say they’ll do, and that as one person said to me once “every livery yard has one know it all pain in the arse some have two,” Turn out or lack of it or issues about who your horse is or isn’t turned out with is a very very common problem, so many yards have insufficient grazing or restrict turn out in the winter, and many owners get upset if there horse comes in with even the tiniest bite mark. Many yards where I am now turn out individually and therefore often only for an hour a day I suspect in response to anxious owners.
I think the “keep you head down and get on with your horse” ethos is the way forward. I do my own thing, I’m friendly to everyone but still continue to plough my own wobbly path. I’m currently on a big busy commercial/comp yard 80+ horses I’ve never been on this type of yard before and it’s working surprisingly well, loads of staff, loads of people coming and going and no one personality dominates too much no ones really got time for trivia, because there’s so many horses my horse is totally chilled as he sees other chilled horses everywhere he looks, loads of grazing, and it’s easier just to get on with your own thing and not get involved in any politics because you and you’re horse are one of many.
I’ve had them at home too and it was great but I lacked facilities, e.g. a manage, you really need two horse of course and at least five well maintained acres if you want them to live out most of the year round, and if you working full time or very busy you’re not able to arrange someone else to sort them out it is nice just to say I can’t come down tomorrow because of X can you do them. Secondly if you need or want someone to hack out with or just talk over problems or borrow a martingale etc it’s harder so no solution is perfect.

Not every yard will tick all the boxes. Try to find one that ticks the boxes that are most important to you. The turnout situation sounds ridiculous. I've luckily never been on a yard that had herd, either individual turnout (which I'm not keen on, but has the advantage that your horse doesn't get kicked, have rugs ripped, and you can keep on top of your own poo-picking) or in small, carefully chosen groups.

I'd look to move if I was you. We spend too much on our horses to be miserable on a yard with dysfunctional dynamics!

Everything has its advantages and disadvantages. We have had them at home but then miss moral support, hacking buddies and someone to pick you up, dust you off and tell you to pull yourself together if it all goes wrong ;)

Can you turn in, in the day so they are less likely to fight at night?