Youngster behind where it should be?

[Greyhorses]

I feel like I've been working forever with my youngster (rising 6) but she is taking so long to get established.

She's a very dramatic and quirky little horse who despite being backed for a year and with help from a professional still cannot leave the yard alone, blows a fuse when in groups, has the worlds most wobbly canter and hasn't even started anything more complicated.

She's had every check in the world and is ridden by a pro as well as myself so I'm confident there's nothing wrong, she just has no confidence at all and it takes months of repeating something for her to feel comfortable with it. It's also very easily undone if she gets a fright!

She has so many plus points but I feel pressured as most horses her age are doing something and I'm worried when I do eventually get her out it's going to be too little too late.

Please tell me stories of late maturing horses to make me feel better

"I think she's very intelligent and remembers everything, if something scared her on a hack at X she remembers it every time she passes it for weeks to come."
Are you also remembering it? If you're anxious that she was scared of something last week are you making her anxious when you ride near it again? I once knew a brilliant man who took horses with very serious issues in the vast majority of cases he couldn't get horses to do what ever they were doing wrong. A totally unstylish rider who'd never had a riding lesson in his life he had no fear and instilled confidence and obedience in most horses he rode. He said that the vast majority of problems were created by the rider.
"Do you think it's ever possible to get a horse like this who hates any sort of atmosphere able to be a competition horse or is it a lost cause?"
So I guess the answer to that question is yes, this above mentioned man who's now retired used to have 4-5 "problem horses" at a time on his yard he said over 35-40 years of taking these horses only two were beyond improvement and help, one was so dangerous that amongst other things it actually deliberately sought out (by jumping into the field) and killed a small dog minding its own business in the next field, the other would actually repeatedly somersault over backwards in the stable when no was one around, (this is very unusual for horses) stand up as if nothing had happened then repeat it again 10 minutes later. The rest were all rehabilitatable and were ridable by the time he finished, although he would have added not necessarily by the their owners.
You just have to keep working on her, small steps build up her confidence in you and in herself. Keep a record of thing that are problematic and then revisit them every few week. I once used to ride an arab that was very difficult to get on (not that uncommon in arabs), no one could hold her she would go berserk, her back would be right up when you lowered yourself into the saddle and if you asked her to move to quickly after you got on she would just buck you off. You also couldn't use a mounting block she would rear up if you tried to get her near it, I used to think that I was always going to struggle to get on, I could only hack somewhere where you could do gates without getting off as getting on away from her stable was even more impossible. One day I forgot, it was getting dark and I had no time to find a better gate, so I got off went through the gate dragged her over to a stone and just got on. She didn't flicker from that moment on it was never a problem. I soon forgot all about it until it was about to ride out with a friend and she saw me getting on of the mounting block, and commented on it. We quickly forget small achievements that we should be proud of and spend our energy focusing on the problems keep a record of any improvements you make however small, celebrate them, you and your horse have achieved this together, the little steps build up over time into big leaps forward.

Greyarab is bang on with regards to the attitude of the rider being a big influence on how the horse reacts.

I've also found it the case that 'rescue' horses are treated with kid gloves by their new owners. The owners can be overly mindful of abuse and rough handling in the horse's past, which results in not putting in firm boundaries and handling. Thus the horse doesn't feel confident with their new owner, and has poor ground manners. I know this doesn't apply to the OP in this case and I'm off at a tangent!

Can I suggest you try a proper magnesium supplement & see if it helps? I have a rising 11 gelding who was always anxious, and a real trial to ride. I bought him at 6. I have now had him on Nupafeed Mg supplement, for 3+ months. You have to “load” the dose for around 10 days. He is now, completely transformed into a calm, non-spooky horse & a pleasure to ride.
I wish I had discovered this years ago.
Either it will help or it won’t, but worth a try.

Every Dales I've known has been a bit of a greedy guts. Carry treats with you and stop just before a scary place. Ask her to stand briefly, treat and praise. Don't do it every time because you'll find she'll stop there and expect a treat! You're working to change the thought in her mind that it's a scary place. Sugar lumps were recommended to me by a very good dressage trainer but use what she likes.

Also talk to her as you hack. It sounds daft but it gives her something else to listen to and stops you from tensing up.

Do you ride with a neck strap? If you don't use one now, I'd stick one on. It gives you something to hang onto if she's being silly which will give you more confidence.

Lastly, look into long reining her. It can be a great tool to give her more confidence out hacking.