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Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Life is so cruel, my horse is being PTS tomorrow

19 replies

BushyTailedPony · 31/08/2017 14:19

Just venting. It's just so unfair. My horse is only 19, which isn't young I know but he's fit and physically well. He's been diagnosed with glaucoma and luxated lenses in both eyes (dislocated out of place). So he'll eventually go blind as there's no cure for the glaucoma. There is some treatment that could be done but it's three lots of eye drops a day which I can't manage anyway because I'd be at work and he's a bugger for other people to catch (only likes me, but even then he has had his moments over the years) plus he was starting to chuck his head around in objection to getting them in.
So the decision is made, in discussion with the vet and the eye specialist that putting him down is a 'brave' option to take just now. I couldn't face leaving it because it's just like a cloud hanging over him, and he's a fatty so no exercise will just mean he gets laminitis or something.
I have been feeling sick all week about it, best diet ever, the misery diet and I'm shaking at the thought of it. It's like knowing a member of your family is terminally ill but you get to choose how and when they die.
On the other hand I take comfort from the fact that he'll never know the fear of losing his sight, nor ill health really at all through his life.
I've had him for 15 years and he's had a good life.
But.. if only there was another ending.
I hope he passes peacefully and the final hurdle of death is completed without fear or pain for him.
Just so painful for me. My lovely boy. So so sad.

OP posts:
BushyTailedPony · 31/08/2017 14:21

To be clear, the treatment would only slow the inevitable and he'd go blind regardless. If it was a cure for the glaucoma then I'd do it in a flash. And not treating it is not an option either. Lots of people have told me it's a brave decision but the right one. It's just come out of the blue.

OP posts:
LittleCandle · 31/08/2017 14:22

Oh that is so hard, but I think you are doing the right thing. He has had a great life and sounds quite a character. It is the hideously awful part of being responsible for an animal. Flowers for you

Antoniacaenis · 31/08/2017 14:28

Flowers For you OP. I had to have mine PTS In similar circumstances and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But now with 20 years hindsight it is still the right thing to have done. He would never been able to cope with retirement ( he's was much younger than your horse OP) and he would have become a danger to himself and others.

kitkat321 · 02/09/2017 22:59

I'm so sorry - how horrid for you.

I'm very much of the view of better a day too early than a day too late - you are making a very selfless decision and putting your horses needs before your own pain and upset.

I hope it went as well as possible xx

krustykittens · 03/09/2017 13:35

He has had a good life, been loved and cared for and had a lot of fun. Letting him go blind would be awful for him, laminitis is a hideous way to go, should he die of it. I know it is bloody hard, OP, but you are doing what is best for him. Thinking of you. Flowers

BushyTailedPony · 03/09/2017 22:15

Thank you everyone. It was so hard as he looked fit and healthy (obviously apart from his eyes) and came galloping down the field to see me (likely as he was getting so many treats rather than to see me I guess!).

It wasn't a pleasant process though. I opted for the vet to do it by injection as couldn't stomach the 'knackerman' shooting him which was the other option. When the vet did my old horse ten years ago he just dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes and I felt he'd died quickly. However, this time they sedated him first but he got a bit agitated and then there was a bit of staggering around whilst the drugs took effect. Perhaps he didn't know about it but it wasn't easy to watch.

Still it's done now and I just have a lifetime of memories to treasure. And you are all right, it's better than him suffering any distress of blindness, fear or laminitis. I have to remember that. I did get a nice letter from the vets reporting on their findings but there was a nicely worded paragraph offering condolences which has helped. It says "commend them on their pragmatic and sensible approach to what must have been a difficult decision, particularly in light of the unexpected outcome of the initial examination".

Rest in peace my beautiful boy.

Life is so cruel, my horse is being PTS tomorrow
OP posts:
LapdanceShoeshine · 03/09/2017 22:23

Flowers OP

He was a handsome boy. You did do the right thing (but you know that). Remember your 15 lovely years together

UrsulaPandress · 03/09/2017 22:26

Been there got the t shirt and I could still cry every day. In fact I'm crying now.

You know you did the right thing.

Hugs.

Fireinthegrate · 04/09/2017 15:29

Aw bless you. You have done the right thing. I had to have a 5 yr old PTS and it was sooo hard with him being so young, but although I still feel guilt, I know it was the right thing to do.
💐

Orangebird69 · 04/09/2017 15:33

Flowers. Beautiful horse! So sad for you. You did the right thing and I'm glad your vet confirmed that with their condolences x

Bufferingkisses · 04/09/2017 15:38

If it helps at all I know someone who wasn't able to make the decision you did (it upset them too much Hmm) watching a prey animal lose their sight is horrendous and not something I could bear to see again. I can honestly say you have done the right thing by your beautiful boy. Flowers

BushyTailedPony · 04/09/2017 20:37

Thank you. I posted on Facebook telling what had happened and some nice pictures and between all the nice messages on there saying I've done the right thing and you guys it's really helping get over it. Thank you for taking the time to post and share your thoughts xx

OP posts:
CatchIt · 04/09/2017 21:07

Hey Bushy, how are you?

I had my beautiful boy pts last year and he was only 5 so I understand how painful it is. Remember that you've done the best for your boy.

15 months later I still desperately miss him.

See if you can find a great artist and get his portrait done. I look at the one I got for my birthday every day and it makes it me smile.

Big hugs and Flowers

Whatslovegottodo · 04/09/2017 21:12

Oh so sorry for you OP what a lovely boy he looked. Such a hard decision but one bravely made.
I hope you cherish all those special memories. As mum to an older pony this has choked me up. Something we don't like to think of but sadly inevitable Sad. I hope I have your strength.
Flowers

PollytheDolly · 04/09/2017 21:20

Huge hugs OP. You absolutely did the right thing.

Flowers
Floralnomad · 04/09/2017 21:23

💐it's always a difficult decision , I've had to go through it 4 times with ours and we always had them injected , it does take a long while to get over it though they leave such a big hole in your life . He looked like a lovely boy .

nappingbeauty · 04/09/2017 21:27

We lost our boy 4 years ago although he was almost 30. In 37 so he has been a huge part of our life. Even though for the past 16 years I lived 200 miles away from him. He was our gentle giant - section E Welsh cob.
I ended up balling my eyes out the next day at work when someone asked how my weekend was.
My parents were with him and it was peaceful.
You'll have amazing memories from your time with him and can be happy at all the love you gave each other over those many years.

Frouby · 04/09/2017 21:27

Aww hugs Op.

I had my little pony pts in june of this year due to various health issues. Like your boy she didn't have anything life threatening wrong with her, just a couple of things that were going to severely impact on her standard of living.

I thought of her today actually. I had marked this week as the one I was going to have her done last winter. I was sad but then relieved that it was already done with and that I didn't have to worry about her anymore.

Be kind to yourself. Xx

Bufferingkisses · 04/09/2017 21:35

Glad to hear you are getting the support you deserve Flowers

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