Not how I envisaged horse ownership - please be kind

[bandito]

I guess I'd just like to share and get some unbiased views and advice. I've had DHorse since last May, he was sold to me as riding club type, 9 yrs old native, easy to do etc.etc. I had 5 stage vetting, teeth, saddle etc. done. He is very easy and polite to handle, look after etc. and this has not changed.

However, he has a tendency to spook sideways sharply when ridden and sometimes then runs if the rider becomes unbalanced. This has gradually got worse over the last 6 months. If the rider is good enough to catch the spook with the leg and keeps balance, he can be gathered up and carries on as before. His previous owner is in touch, although not local, and said he never did it with her ever, in fact they used to take him out as a nanny for young horses. He doesn't do anything else, buck, rear, kick, bite, spin, nap etc.

I have fallen off him many times ( I know that this won't have helped his confidence), and currently I am in plaster having broken my arm and fracturing a bone in my spine coming off him a fortnight ago. There is hopefully no long-term damage. I feel a bit sick when anyone gets on him at the moment as i am afraid he will have them on the ground. He did it yesterday with a new rider but she was able to sit to him - I had to leave as I couldn't watch.

I am having him professionally schooled 3 times a week currently and have been once a week since September when it started to bother me. My instructor is extremely competent and can sit to him. She says that the spooks are sharp, but as a whole, she's ridden far worse and she thinks he has a lot of potential to be a nice horse with work.

To be honest, I can't imagine getting back on him (or anything else) right now - I could end up in a wheelchair, or worse next time. My DS 13 was supposed to be sharing him with me but there's no way I'd let him get on again.

I've got another 4 weeks in plaster and my instructor advises not to make any decisions until then. I am paying someone to ride him and someone to care for him and I'm having to get a taxi to the yard as I can't drive due to arm so feel like I am bleeding cash right now. If I did want to ride him again, I'd have to have lessons at a riding school horse before getting back on him as well as paying for him to be schooled.

It all feels a bit hopeless - has anyone else been through similar and did you persevere or try to rehome? I bought him with the intention of having him forever - apart from this, he is lovely.

Difficult choice OP but I think the right one. It's so difficult for you to come back from injury and sometimes there is something like a personality clash. I've also seen people struggle on with horses that are not the right fit for them. And I've been the beneficiary of people who've realised the partnership isn't right and have sold their horses.

I'm not advocating giving up at the drop of the hat. It's like any relationship - there will be rough patches. But it has to feel right, and this doesn't.

You did the right thing in getting him checked out, now you can sell him with a clean conscience. Not every partnership works out and i think you will both be happier appart. Hope you feel better soon and are able to ride again.

Thank you for being kind. He is such a lovely animal, canters up to the fence to see us when we catch him up and greets all the other horses and people as they come past on the yard. But I can't keep him just for this. I promised myself I wouldn't keep a horse I was scared to ride. So now I just need to find someone to buy him.

Find him a good home and concentrate on getting back to health yourself. When you are ready to ride again there will be the right horse out there for you. My last horse was too much for me and I sold him and had a break. I've had my current horse for years now and we are the perfect match. Good luck!

Garnethair: do I know you from another forum? I think you might do a job that involves being on the phone...?

Hello all, I just wanted to give you an update. I've been very quiet on the thread because we have been in the process of selling DPony and yesterday he sold to a lovely family with a gung-ho teenage girl and a hunting dad. They've tried him many times, they know I've come off him and he spooked with the girl and she laughed and got on with it ( I couldn't watch). He flew through the vetting and will be staying local. So I just wanted to say thank you for all your advice and thoughts. I have really mixed feelings but the plan at the moment is to go get some riding lessons, put the money where I can't get at it, step away from the adverts and reconsider buying an elderly cob or a knitted donkey next Spring.

Britnay - no that's not me!

OP so glad you've found a good home for him. It was the right call.

That was such a great decision for you and Dpony. After my last boy turned me into a quivering wreck, which turned out to be due to severe and ultimately fatal pain, I thought i'd never buy another horse.

Almost a year ago I sat on my lovely girl and we found each other. I am by no means a confident rider and she has certainly tested me BUT we have worked through our issues together. I hope we'll be together having fun for the rest of our lives.

I suppose what i'm saying is don't let this difficult experience put you off. There is likely to be a pony out there who will be a perfect partner for you. You've done the right thing for you and the horse, fingers crossed there will be another horse out there who will find their way into your heart.

Big hugs xxx

What a great update!

Give yourself some time, take the pressure off and the right horse will find you.

To me there are two options:
-Plough a lot of money into physical checks, physio, teeth, vet, saddle etc. Then spend more money on lessons, schooling etc.

-Send him off to be produced and sold and buy something you feel comfortable with.

I think people can be too slow to sell these days, no shame in not getting on and cutting your loses. I've done it, I over horsed myself, carried on for two years, never fell off but shattered my confidence. Selling him was the best thing I ever did, my current horse is brilliant, we have done everything together and she makes me so happy. Funnily enough I've fallen off her half a dozen times over the years and yet I never fell off the scary horse. Go figure!!