Scared! Teenage DD and riding ambitions

[GuinefortGrey]

DD1 is 14 and just joined BE. She's been doing great at unaffiliated and NSEA 90s and has ambitions to move up to 100s and beyond... there's even been talk of her getting the ride on an amazing schoolmaster that has taken riders from 90 to 2*.

Now I'm scared! The jumps are massive and it's such a dangerous sport. I am a huge coward myself and I'm so afraid of her getting hurt.

So, what does a good parent do? Encourage and support her dreams regardless of personal scaredy cat feelings. Or actively discourage, try and keep her to the lower levels and hope she grows out of it

Fwiw DD is not a gung-ho type, she is well aware of the dangers of the sport but still wishes to pursue it.

Encourage encourage encourage!

(You might be on the wrong board for a balanced opinion here )

My dc do pretty dangerous sports. The only thing to do is support and encourage.

Ha ha Lady that is exactly why I posted here! I made the mistake of reading another thread or two where the parents were banging on discussing all the terrible dangerous sports they would never allow their children to do. I need to hear the other side

I supported, transported and did everything I could except watch DD compete.
She knew I was right behind her but would have been an utterly gibbering wreck if I watched, so I'd sit on the box ramp with a coffee and a book and do my best to ignore any commentary!

Support and take each step as it comes. BE courses usually have unaffiliated/pony club events held over them so it isn't actually that different at 80/90/100.

I was going round Novice courses at 14 through the Pony Club and then through BE equivalent at 15. My dad loved every minute of it and my poor mum used to sit by the lorry drinking a lot of wine. I am sure in 10 years time I will be posting a similar query as DD is showing signs of keenness at a very early age.

Good luck and keep us posted. And how exciting about a proper schoolmaster.

A good parent buys her the best body protector or air jacket you can afford for her, the best wine you can afford for you, and clears some space for the rosettes

Does she have any expectations around the finances of competing at a higher level? The costs ramp up considerably as you get more competitive, so it might be worth having a chat with her sooner rather than later about how much you can fund this, and at what part she needs to start paying/limit her expectations

BE is ridiculously expensive. Especially the higher you go. Show jumping is more generous!

Slightly late to the thread here but - definitely encourage! BUT I would say make sure she is COMPLETELY ready for each progression and that she has a good, careful, experienced horse. You do not want to see her heading fast downhill in a flat strung out gallop towards a big square 100 xc fence! If she has enough knowledge and skill to adjust pace and balance the horse properly, and the horse is careful, then you minimise the risks a lot I think. A friend has a similarly keen 14 year old and she is being very strict about only doing what she is ready for. Daughter gets frustrated, but it does mean she is working very hard to improve over the winter. She also makes her daughter pay for the entry fees - which is a fairly small part of the total cost of training, horse keep etc but it helps focus her mind on the cost of it all. BE has a great under 18 training and competing programme. She could try doing some of the u18 coaching?