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Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

Original poster

What next?

9 replies

mummyof2munchkins · 23/04/2016 22:55

Hi,

I'm desperately looking for advice and support.

I rode and worked for a professional yard for many years in my teens and early 20's. I gave up for some time when Hubby and kids came along. After a break of 15 yrs or so I've returned to riding and the obsession for horses i felt as a teen is stronger than ever.

after several months of lessons (shocked at how much my body has changed and forgotten) I bought my dream horse 6 months ago. He was amazing and I felt a bond quickly. Long story short despite a 5 stage vetting he has a life limiting illness that has recently been diagnosed and he will be put to sleep in the next few days. I'm devestated, both by the loss of my new best friend and by the idea of once again becoming horseless.

I desperately want another horse but I'm terrified of having to go through this again. Should I cut my losses now.

OP posts:
IsItTimeForGinYet · 25/04/2016 03:47

No! Do not cut losses!! I am so sorry to hear about your horse and cannot believe how similar our stories are. Long story short, I bought a beautiful young horse 3 years ago who died tragically the following year. I was heartbroken, went on the rebound and failed to find anything suitable so decided not to get another one. I was miserable, so miserable, and grieved for him for months. 11 months after losing him, I started to search once again and a week before the anniversary of his death I found another. Now because I am happier, my family are too. It is devastating to have to say goodbye but it is even worse not to move on.

Winston Churchill got it right when he said 'There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.'

Be kind to yourself.

Original poster
mummyof2munchkins · 25/04/2016 19:53

Thank you so much. I'd kidded myself that a 5 stage vetting would be enough to avoid this situation. I'm scared of ending up in the same situation again. Heartbroken and literally Thousands lost.

OP posts:
IsItTimeForGinYet · 25/04/2016 20:08

Promise this sounds just like me. Cannot emphasise how heartbreaking it was and how devastated I was afterwards. For months. And months. And poorer too but the grief was worse. You need to find another one. I was so miserable and scared of making the wrong decision and even now I am terrified of something happening to him but the joy he brings is worth it. PM me if you would like.

Original poster
mummyof2munchkins · 25/04/2016 21:22

Thank you. I'm just waiting for the date to be arranged for me to say goodbye to my dream horse. I will look around though. I may pm you some adverts when I find something I'd like to see.

Glad you found a new partner. Searching is so stressful. x

OP posts:
IsItTimeForGinYet · 25/04/2016 21:47

Searching isn't much fun! But do feel free to send me your wish list and any ads/vids. I'm so sorry about your dream horse. What is wrong with him?

Rollingdinosaur · 25/04/2016 22:16

Oh OP, I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. I think you should give yourself some time to grieve, but it is definitely worth the risk of doing it all again, in my opinion at least.

DraughtyWindow · 29/04/2016 10:49

Sorry to hear your dilemma. It's very hard. DD has lost 2 ponies. We replaced with another as soon as we could as life for us without them would've been intolerable. We bought a cheap as chips youngster that had never done PC, but I can honestly say she's a dream. The nicest, easiest pony of the lot. DD has bonded and loves her to bits. (So do I!)
You must remember though that a 5 stage vetting is just a snapshot on that day. There are definitely no guarantees, and that's horses for you. What about taking something on loan for a year? There are plenty out there. Whereabouts are you? What are you looking to do with one?

Original poster
mummyof2munchkins · 01/05/2016 21:51

Hi, sorry for the absence. Internet has been down for days.

I have taken the great advice on here, I'm looking for something for riding club stuff, (think I'll always long for those care free pony club days) safe and sane but with a bit of life still. 15:2 + but able to carry a podgy (11 st) 5 ft 6 middle aged person who should have grown out of playing with horses by now.

My dream horse is struggling, I'd hoped to give him the spring to enjoy being a horse but I think it's too much to hope for, I expect the vet to call time in the next week or so. Heartbreaking. x

OP posts:
DraughtyWindow · 02/05/2016 08:30

Hello again. Are you insured? If the the vet 'calls time', and the decision comes under the BEVA guidelines then you might have a valid claim under Loss of Animal.
So sorry for you, it's horrible I know, but your horse will be thankful. X

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