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Original poster

Desperate for help

57 replies

stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 18:02

I have no idea where else to turn, so at the risk of outing myself, I'm begging for help.

I have two Shetland ponies that believe it or not, came with my house. They were originally rescue ponies from the RSPCA.

For the last ten years I've given them a loving home, had one broken in, nursed one through laminitis twice, and really learned the ropes, being a first time horse owner.

Sadly, my marriage broke up and I'm now having to sell the house and buy something smaller. I've kept this place going for two years, but I just can't do it any more.

Unfortunately, my buyer is not willing to offer my boys a home, and I'm at a loss what to do with them.

They're sixteen, one has liver damage (caused before he was rescued by eating ragwort, we think) the other has laminitis, they're as awkward as Shetlands often are - basically nobody is going to want them.

The RSPCA are being very unhelpful. Livery is going to be mega expensive. I'd do it if I could, but I just don't think I can afford it.

I'm worried sick. Does anyone have any idea of what I could do with my poor boys?

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 19:41

Not heard from them in 10 years - they moved down South. No idea how to get in touch.

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 30/03/2015 19:42

Oh stevie, it sounds heartbreaking. But it sounds like they could end up going through all the confusion of a move away from home and new people, then PTS anyway, after being too miserable to thrive.

Original poster
stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 19:44

I just don't know how to even broach the idea with the vet.

I didn't think it would come to this.

Divorce is like throwing a stone in a pond, isn't it? The ripples just keep coming.

OP posts:
JulyKit · 30/03/2015 19:45

Having a pony PTS is much, much safer and kinder than sending it on to an uncertain future with someone who may not look after it properly.

Unfortunately it's really difficult to rehome horses and ponies at the moment and rescue centres are indeed overrun.

If you can't rehome your boys with someone who you trust 100% to look after them properly - and from what you say, that option doesn't exist, because you'd already know that person - or if you can't find somewhere where you could look after them yourself, then PTS is by far the kindest option. Have it done at home, it will be tough for you, but your ponies won't be aware of it at all.

Yes, a good vet who understands the situation will be willing to do that.

Sorry this is such a sad situation, but as PPs have said, you've given these ponies wonderful lives. Best to keep it that way and know that their lives were happy until the end. Thanks

JulyKit · 30/03/2015 19:47

stevie a decent vet, and any sane and experienced equine vet will understand the situation.

Original poster
stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 19:48

Right.

I was hoping this wouldn't be the answer.

Let's hope for a miracle.

Thank you everybody. You've been very kind. I was expecting a flaming.

OP posts:
kormachameleon · 30/03/2015 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 20:00

That's my fear Korma.

If I'd known what was involved, I might not have taken them on. The previous owners used them as little lawnmowers, which I think has contributed to the laminitis.

It's been a hell of a journey, though, and they've been lovely pets. Challenging, but lovely. I can't bear the thought of someone taking them on who won't give them what they need.

Oh, it's heartbreaking.

OP posts:
PatioPonderer · 30/03/2015 20:13
Flowers

Don't feel bad talking to the vets about this. It is a perfectly legitimate, responsible and ethical decision. It is unfortunately part of horse ownership and they will know this.

kormachameleon · 30/03/2015 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulyKit · 30/03/2015 20:21

stevie it is heartbreaking - for you rather than the ponies, but it sounds like you've done a wonderful job with these two ponies. You've cared for them really well, you've kept the two of them together, and they must be everything to each other by now, bless them.
If you have them PTS then, yes, it will be desperately sad - from the perspective of a kind and loving owner. But from the ponies perspective, they will not be aware of what is happening, they will pass away while they are still well looked after and have a good quality of life, and that is the best fate that any horse or pony can have. Also, neither of them will have to go through the trauma of being separated, either through one dying, or through their being taken to separate homes. And that is quite something, as horses who've lived together for ages are often inseparable and get really traumatised by separation.
Yes, it is very sad, but you have done really well for these boys, and to end their currently happy lives on a good note at the age that they are is second only to ensuring that they go to an absolutely ideal home where they will be cared for perfectly and never separated. People who know horses and look after them know that the latter option is as likely as a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A good vet will understand that realistically, the chances of finding a perfect home for two oldies with health issues who shouldn't be separated are so slim as to be negligible, and will also know that equine lives ended humanely on a good note are infinitely better than those drawn out at the expense of quality and proper care.

It's very sad, but also, perhaps, something to celebrate that they will have been loved, cared for and kept happy and together until the last.

Bonkey · 30/03/2015 20:41

If it gives you any hope I have dealt with lami, liver damage and shetties - I would have taken them on if you were closer and my other half wasn't laid up off work - sods law!

Good luck!

Bonkey · 30/03/2015 20:43

By hope I mean there are people out there....

JulyKit · 30/03/2015 20:54

That is a very nice sentiment, Bonkey.

stevie it may be quite easy to find someone who will tell you that they are experienced horse owners, will keep the ponies to the very end, yadda yadda....

The sad thing is that any chinny reckoner who thinks, on the spur of the moment that it'd be nice to have a couple of ponies can talk the talk.

Hope is a fine sentiment, but it can also be quite dangerous.

Unless someone offers to keep them both for the rest of their days, and you know that person well enough to be absolutely certain that they will provide perfect care and be as good as their word, or, unless you can find an excellent rescue centre with places for both your boys, please make sure that they end their days at the home they live at now, happy and together.

Original poster
stevienickstophat · 30/03/2015 21:04

That's a completely different way of looking at it, July. Thank you.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

OP posts:
frostyfingers · 31/03/2015 11:22

I agree that PTS is not the worst thing that can happen to them, not by a long way. It is bloody hard and horrible to be the one "playing god" but if you contemplate the possible awful alternatives then actually it's the right thing to do. However, I would just say how about popping over to the Horse and Hound Forum and asking the same question - there's a much wider audience there and someone may come up with an answer for you.

Please don't think by considering PTS you are being a bad owner, on the contrary you are being a good one.

zirca · 31/03/2015 14:41

Which one is broken in? You might be able to find a home for that one. Shetlands can reach 30+ years and laminitis goes with the breed as they are not designed for rich grass.

PatioPonderer · 31/03/2015 20:19

There is a very good, active and knowledgeable forum on saddle-up.org as well including a place to advertise horses

PixelLady42 · 01/04/2015 02:22

Just to add my two cents - not sure how much help it will be - I do agree with previous posters that if you can't find someone that is 100% trustworthy and will guarantee a good home for the rest of their lives, the best thing for their and your sake is to pts. It's horribly sad and terribly unfair, but you have given them an amazing life for the last 10 years. How many other people would have done this, and where might they be now (if at all due to laminitis or other health issues) if it weren't for the love and care you have given them?
I will add as food for thought - if you did find a field near to your new home could you try using grazing muzzles to restrict grazing without restricting field access?
My horse is an Iberian and can eat for England. She lives out 24x7 and gets nothing but grass. I ride her 4 times a week and do some endurance rides but despite all the exercise she was at serious risk of laminitis two years ago and quite overweight. It was really hard for me to do as it seemed really cruel, but for the last two years I have used a muzzle from ~March - September and keep it on most of the week. An example schedule I follow is : muzzle on Tuesday morning through until Friday morning. Muzzle off Friday morning through until Saturday morning. Muzzle on Saturday morning through until Sunday morning. Muzzle off Sunday morning through until tursday morning - repeat ad nauseum.... You can fit it around your schedule as required,
This may seem excessive but her weight stays stable, she can stay in the field with others for company, she can still eat just at a slower rate and can drink and breathe as normal. The muzzle I use now is ~£25 and is specifically designed for miniatures, but was so popular they make larger sizes now too: www.tackandturnout.co.uk/Dinky-Classic-Grazing-Muzzle
I find they do eventually wear through so you have to buy another, but mine lasted at least a year and I thought wear of the muzzle was better than excessive teeth wear for the horse, which I started to see when using a green guard muzzle. I also started to see rubbing so cut and glued pieces of an old wool girth cover to the inside straps to prevent it.
As others have said you could also try and find sharers to do pony rides to contribute towards upkeep which would also help keep weight down?
As well as riding to help with weight you cold also do ground work - as something else to do with mine I do some straightness training once a week.
Whatever decision you make will be the best choice after taking in to account all the horse and human options, and you should not feel guilty or beat yourself up for doing what's best for all involved.

AnnaFiveTowns · 01/04/2015 05:47

The problem with letting them go to anybody that you don't know, is that there are so many unscrupulous people involved with horses and ponies. Who knows where they'll end up?

It's a really tough situation you're in. I can sympathise as we've just bought, what is basically a rescue Shetland, as a companion for my daughter's pony and we've now discovered that she's in foal! The dealer we had her from said she'll take her back but the kids love her and I know that she would not be well cared for. I was pretty confident (but who knows?!) that we could have given the Shetland a home for life but I'm not so sure about the foal. I'll be pushing 75 in 30 years time and if could still be here!

Sorry, I have no real advice, OP, but I'd be reluctant to just out an ad out for anybody.

icclemunchy · 01/04/2015 05:57

Poor old boys, but there are much much worse things in this life than being stuffed with carrots and a quiet end with someone kind to hold the rope.

It's us that them being pts is hard on op not them. I hope you find a solution that is best for all of you

LaLaLaaaa · 01/04/2015 08:14

I'm very sorry you're in this situation and feel for you, but I think it's very wrong if you to say the RSPCA are being unhelpful. I volunteer for them on the horse rescue side and they, like all the other horse rescues, are full. So much so that they are turning horses away and having to manage horse cases in situ because they haven't any room to take them in. Lots are in private boarding costing the charity over a million a year and they have over 700 in care just now, more than any other horse rescue. Please be careful not to be unfair - they can't agree to take back every rehomed horse whose owners circumstances have changed because they can't guarantee they will have space.

Put them on local Facebook horse store or community group. That usually works for horses and ponies in my area. Otherwise I agree PTS might be kindest option.

tootsietoo · 01/04/2015 22:37

I would also like to add my tuppence worth, that PTS is most likely the kindest thing to do for them.

Very sadly, I've had to make this decision for three horses in the past 2 years. They don't know it's going to happen, that their life is shorter than it might otherwise have been, and it's painless, so from their point of view there is nothing bad. To my mind it is so much better than handing them on with no knowledge of where they might end up. A quality, schooled horse which has value will be more likely always to end up in a good home which values it. An elderly Shetland with health problems is far less valued and could end up anywhere. You will surely sleep better at night not worrying about where they are and whether they are being looked after properly? It is not a terrible thing to do, it is the most responsible and kindest thing. It will be gutting for you as you have spent so much time and effort on them for 10 years, but the horses won't suffer and they are what matters most.

Original poster
stevienickstophat · 02/04/2015 13:31

I'm sorry if my comment about the RSPCA has upset anyone. I know they do wonderful work and sadly are very busy.

I just meant in this context they are not an option for me to turn to. I was very upset when I wrote my OP.

Thanks to all PPs on this thread. Some very helpful and supportive comments.

OP posts:
Moodykat · 02/04/2015 13:48

stevie - I feel a bit like you are my friend now! (from the Tuna thread).

You poor thing. What a bloody awful situation. I have to say that I agree with all the pp that say that having them pts is the best solution.

I know it's horrid but we (my late mum & I) have always had horses or ponies and kept them through until the end as we couldn't bear for them to be sold on to who-knows-where.

I also used to work at an equine vets and you would surprised how often they deal with similar situations, sadly it is not uncommon for people to find themselves unable to care for ponies but unable to re-home them.

I wish you strength and send you a virtual hug.

p.s. We are missing you over there! But quite obviously you have got other things on your mind. x