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Original poster

At a loss as to what go do

28 replies

Em1503 · 03/10/2014 06:50

Hi I'm really struggling with what to do with my horse and would appreciate other peoples opinions please. He is 20 years old, retired Arab gelding, I've had him for 15 years since I was a teenager. However due to work commitments and finances I put him out on loan 5 years ago (before he had to be retired). Unfortunately he came back to be earlier this year when I was pregnant. I didn't want him back as my life has moved on and to be honest I don't have or want the commitment of owning a horse again at this stage in my life. However I've owned him a long time so have tried to make it work and get back into it.

I now have an 8 week old baby and have admitted to myself that I have no interest in having a horse any more, I'm struggling to make it down to the yard regularly (luckily got a friend who has been helping me out while baby is small) and I'm going to struggle to pay for him over winter now I'm on maternity leave.

My DH thinks it's pointless having him and a complete waste of money when he's just a field ornament and I'm not getting anything out of it any more. He doesn't have any sort of bond or sentimentality towards him which is fair enough, he's never been into horses so why would he. He says the money soent keeping him for years more in retirement would afford us family holidays that we're missing out on and he has a point. But what are my options? Retirement liveries are more expensive than what I pay for him currently, I've advertised him in the past as for a companion/retirement home with no luck and I don't know what else to do with him. People have suggested having him PTS but although retired he's a happy and healthy horse. Confused I'd really appreciate other peoples thoughts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Em1503 · 03/10/2014 06:51

Typo in title - what to do!

OP posts:
snowpo · 03/10/2014 13:22

Oh its horrid isn't it. I'm haveing the same dilemma at the moment. I have a 15yr old gelding who did a tendon 4yrs ago and is on field retirement and a 12yr old gelding who has just come back from loan.
The 12yr old is completely sound, no health issues but only really suitable for hacking with a reasonable rider - I can't even find a home for him to loan or even give away!

I am now thinking I might have to have the 15yr old PTS as I just don't have the money. I have no problem with PTS in my head, horse is eating a carrot and then he's gone, knows nothing about it. But its so bloody difficult emotionally isn't it.
But he'll probably live at least another 10yrs which will cost at least £20k to keep a lawnmower, its madness.
My kids are a bit older (4&5) but I have that constant guilt of holidays we could otherwise have, clubs they could be doing etc
When you say retirement livery is more than what you pay, could yours live out 24/7 or does he already?
Sorry no help at all but there aren't really any other choices, you either have to try and get your head round the PTS or struggle on through.

Wolfiefan · 03/10/2014 13:25

What about a charity like Horseworld?

Goldenlab · 03/10/2014 16:26

Horse charities are bursting at the seams. Personally I'd give it another go at advertising him on preloved or similar as a companion on loan. If there are no suitable takers, I'd have him PTS. Nothing sadder than seeing unwanted older horses being sold to uncertain futures. If you can't afford to give him a retirement livery home and don't want to keep looking after him forever in DIY livery the kindest thing may be to give him a decent end. There's certainly no shame in it.

Original poster
Em1503 · 03/10/2014 17:56

I contacted a few rescue centres earlier in the year when he first came back to me and as PP said they won't take him as they are so full already. He's never lived out over winter in his life and I'm not sure he'd cope with it, he hates the cold and rain. He's had laminitis once a good few years ago so he has to be managed carefully during the rest of the year too which puts people off having him as a companion. I'm going to advertise him again and see what comes of it and I guess go from there?!?!

OP posts:
Booboostoo · 03/10/2014 18:40

You have a very limited number of options but I think you have to be realistic.

Either pay for retirement livery.

Or find a loan home for him but be prepared to visit often to keep an eye on things and accept he may be returned at any time.

Or PTS.

Under no circumstances should you sell him on. He is too old to realistically find a good home and it would be a huge shame if he ended his life being passed from pillar to post.

britnay · 03/10/2014 20:47

PTS is a far better solution than an uncertain future if you sell or loan him on. Realistically, very few people would actually want a potentially laminitic, night stabled companion. There are so many small natives out there that are cheap to buy and cheap to keep. One hears a lot of stories about beloved horses going to "forever homes" on loan, only to found they've been buted up and sold on, or worse...

JulyKit · 03/10/2014 22:59

What britnay said.

Having your horse PTS is tough - more so for you than the horse (as you know). As others have said, unless you can be 100% certain that your horse will be properly cared for until the day he dies, if you're not going to keep him (and clearly you're not), have him PTS. And then move on with a clear conscience.

I got a BHS email today about the 1000s of horses currently at risk. It's horrific. I think that this state of affairs may have come about because some well meaning owners are too sentimental to do the right thing when their horses reach retirement age. If you can't look after him, PTS.

Please don't advertise him on Preloved or similar. And don't offer him 'free to a good home'. As others have said, if people want companion ponies they can go for tough little native ponies. And if they can't afford to buy a horse, then how the hell will they look after it?

Popalina · 05/10/2014 14:00

Hi, got same prob here. Got two small ones (bad sleepers) and a 30 year old happy, healthy horse, costing us a fortune in livery bills. The yard would HATE me if I had him PTS but at the moment I am lying awake worrying about the cost and I just don't have the time or energy to care for him.

I feel nothing but guilt. Guilt for family paying out all the bills, guilt for the horse etc etc.

I cannot see any way out! There must be quite a few of us in the same situation.

Goldenlab · 05/10/2014 19:58

Popalina, I'm so sorry you are in this position. Especially if you feel under pressure from the other liveries at your yard. There's not an easy answer is there.

Popalina · 05/10/2014 21:25

Thanks Golden. I bumped into another person in a similar boat to me today who said they were thinking of putting their pony to sleep. Like the poster, I just don't think I could do that when he seems well, especially in the current yard. I am getting up at the crack of dawn after being up multiple times in the night and then going down in the dark. It's doing me in!

ADishBestEatenCold · 05/10/2014 22:39

I'm not unsympathetic ... in fact have been in your position a few times and do have a retiree just now ... but I am going to be blunt.

You have two options.

One, have your horse put down. (Sometimes that is the only option).

Two, remain responsible for your horse for the rest of his life. (Either by paying to keep him in a part livery, doing the work and supervising that yourself; or by paying to keep him in a full livery or retirement livery and supervising that yourself; or by loaning him to a responsible person and supervising that yourself).

It's hard, but there are no other options.

Popalina · 06/10/2014 08:03

Agreed. At the mo I am doing as much as I can myself because I cannot justify the PTs option. Will reassess after winter.

Booboostoo · 06/10/2014 10:44

I have PTS for reasons other than health problems and it is very difficult to do but I still think it's the right thing. A good life is better for an animal than a long life.

Original poster
Em1503 · 06/10/2014 16:57

Definitely. It's not an easy decision to make. If it was just me I'd pay for retirement livery but I have my family to consider and ultimately they come before the horse. I just struggle with the PTS option though when he looks happy and healthy in the field.

I've started to advertise him in a few places and will see what that brings. Hopefully the right person will come along and if not then that reduces my options down further. There's only so long u can afford to keep paying for him for. If I'd have known I would be in this situation now I don't think I would ever have bought him (despite the years of enjoyment this is not a situation I would ever wish anyone to find themselves in.)

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 06/10/2014 17:27

Is he still working, Em1503? Hacking out or something. Or, if not, is he capable of still working?

Twenty is not that old and I've known many an Arab continue working well beyond that age. Unless there are some health constraints.

ADishBestEatenCold · 06/10/2014 17:34

"If I'd have known I would be in this situation now I don't think I would ever have bought him (despite the years of enjoyment this is not a situation I would ever wish anyone to find themselves in.)"

Not directed at you, you have realised and this whole thread is a good reminder to the rest of us, but everyone should plan what they will do, when their period of ownership comes to an end, beforethey buy a horse/pony.

Not so hard to plan for if you expect them to be young, fit and desirable enough to sell on ... but even then, we should all plan for future possibilities at the outset.

Floralnomad · 06/10/2014 17:44

Have you looked into retirement livery , it can be quite cost effective . Ive currently got a retired pony on full livery and fortunately I find that not having to physically spend the time looking after her more than outweighs the considerable cost . We don't sell on and this particular pony has actually been retired for 16 yrs as that was when my DS gave up riding ,we had to change yards last year and looked into retirement livery as opposed to full livery but my sister was not happy to not have her nearby . Our philosophy with all our horses and ponies has been that they can have a nice retirement but any major illnesses and we make the decision to PTS . I think this current pony will outlive me ,she is in extremely good health!

Popalina · 06/10/2014 20:25

Em! I have thought the same thing about wishing I had never got him which is really sad but is honestly how I feel. Mine is 30 now but honestly, like Floral,I reckon he might outlive several Event Horizons!!

Floralnomad · 06/10/2014 20:52

Mine is only 21 !

Original poster
Em1503 · 07/10/2014 08:30

I completely agree with the comment about ensuring you have a long term plan before you buy the horse, but when I got him as a young, horse mad teenager, with non-horsey parents it really wasn't considered. I wouldn't buy another horse now for this reason, nor will I be buying a pony for DD if she shows an interest when she's older.

The thing is it's not just my money and DH isn't happy about us spending thousands of pounds keeping him in retirement for what will probably be years. Not when we both work so hard and that's what the spare money goes on. I have to say I see his point. My priorities and life have changed a lot since I got him when I had nobody else to think about and no other responsibilities.

I know what the options are it's just a rubbish situation to be in, he deserves better. I just hope somebody comes along who can give him the home he deserves although I'm realistic about how likely this is. He's retired as he kept tripping/falling over quite badly whilst being ridden and so the lady who had him on loan stopped riding him. I haven't been able to bring him back into work since due to pregnancy/baby. The insurance won't pay out to have it investigated with X-rays,scans etc and the vet couldn't find anything obvious wrong with him but I'm not happy selling/loaning him on as a riding horse when he could cause injury to someone if he fell. If somebody is willing to take him on and try then that's fine and I will be honest and explain this to anybody who wants him.

OP posts:
lovebeansontoast · 07/10/2014 12:25

Tough one Em. I have a lot of sympathy. My horse is 24, but fit as a flea, so I will continue to ride him as long as I can. After that? Who knows? My first horse I had PTS after a tendon injury in the field. I'd given him everything the vet recommended for as long as it took. Then turned him back out, and within a week he'd done it again, same leg only worse. The vet told me he might be able to be a light hack, but that he'd pretty much have to live in. No kind of life. So, to me, that decision was an easy one. The point here being that there was no shortage of people on the yard, like Popalina's who said I shouldn't have done it, and should have paid the vets another fortune and kept him in etc. It was a really difficult decision. There will always be people saying you are doing the wrong thing, but sometimes, the wrong thing is the only right thing. You do what's right for you, your horse and your family, and if that's PTS, then he has had a really good life, so no one's business but yours.

Popalina · 07/10/2014 19:54

Some really good and understanding posts on here. Love beans, that must have been heartbreaking.

I don't know where you live Em but down in wales they have retirement places for £35 a week if that is an option. It isn't for me as I am not sure mine would cope with the upheaval. It would probably be kinder to PTS!

Popalina · 07/10/2014 19:56

Oh and if my dd or DS turn out horse mad, there is NO way I am getting them one! They can loan instead!

Booboostoo · 08/10/2014 03:07

Em if you do go down the loan route be very very careful. Your horse's background lends itself to someone loaning him, disappearing and selling him on as a ridden horse. I am not disputing that good loan homes don't exist, I took on loan a companion oldie and had him for years until the end of his life, but they are few and far between.