Livery yard blues, hug needed

[tallulahturtle]

Just got a horse on full loan , having previously helped out with the horse in question. So I am now completely 100% responsible for this horse and I have a good background of horse knowledge.

I spoke to the owner before starting the loan and established when teeth etc were due.

So I booked a dentist, this immediately raised eyebrows as it wasn't the dentist everyone else has as they all get there's done at the end of October by this one chap. I know it would be cheaper to save the call out charge but I was happy with my dentist choice.

Also needed some hay so the lady next door recommended this chap and he bought some round and I was happy with it. Now this evening I go down to check my horse and one girl is sitting there, almost waiting for me and takes delight (or at least that is what it seems like) in telling me I have been fobbed off and sold last years hay.

Just need a hug as feel I can't do anything right and am starting to doubt myself.

Anyway if it is last years hay, what are the consequences? Also how do you tell?

Nasty bitches. It doesn't matter who you choose to use as a dentist for your horse. It's your choice and you want it done when you want it done. Same goes with the farrier and vet for that matter.

No problem with last year's hay (there is a difference nutritionally) as long as your boy will eat it. Is is sweet smelling, dry and and not dusty? No problem then. We recently had a delivery of this year's hay and had to send it back as it was rubbish and our horses wouldn't eat it. You'd expect to pay a bit less for last year's hay, but if you are happy then that's fine.

Are you sure this is the right yard for you? Nothing worse in the world than opinionated horsey women

Ugh. This is why I dislike livery yards. Some folk can be so nasty. Is it a condition that horse is to remain on yard?? If it is I would simply get on with what you have to do and a quiet but polite hello will suffice to those nasties. Don't try to get involved/chat. You just enjoy your horse!!

It isnt a condition of the loan, but it is local and handy and has better facilities than others nearby. Ie. a menage . Think I just need to trust my judgement and take peoples comments with good humor and a pinch of salt. Its just not easy as I just want the best for the horse and as it is my first experience doing 100% care I worry im doing something wrong.

If anyone has followed my previous post , I am now full loaning the ex polo pony

Nothing wrong with last years hay. I don't know why livery yards breed the level if bitchiness (the men at ours are just as bad, if not worse than women!). I've had similar problems, and just try to rise above it-easier said than done I know!

I'm sure your not doing anything wrong, but I understand it's difficult bit to feel judged. My horse always does something odd whenever the judgy crew are around but I try not to dwell on it. I know they are looked after and happy (and look it!) so everyone else can do one!

Thank you, feeling a bit better now. Its hard as I've literally only been loaning her 2 weeks. I am quite a sensitive person so think i need to perfect my thick skin and try maintain an air of aloofness (ie dont talk to her she is weird). Just can't work out of people on the yard are genuinely trying to advise me or trying to worry me/ get a reaction.

I'm new in my yard too...it's a bit like starting a new job, isn't it? Routines to learn and every barn has their 'way' of doing things. Don't take it to heart...some people are better at sharing advice than others. As long as you're looking after your horse and aiming to improve your horsemanship, then you're doing the right thing. We all make mistakes along the way...as parents, as employees, as pet owners...it's part of the journey and everyone who pretends to be the gleeful 'expert' will have made mistakes along the way too. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, btw, just that there's no need to take unsolicited advice personally. There are many different schools of thought on horsemanship and equine care, just as there are for parenting...a different way isn't necessarily the wrong way :)

As long as the hay smells ok (should still be sweet-smelling, not musty) and has no dust or white spores then it will do no harm. It's all down to proper storage and if it's been in a dry barn with good air circulation then no problem. If you have a good doer who has to watch his weight you will be better off as it won't be as rich for him. We've sometimes got last year's on purpose if we have a fatty, and it doesn't hurt to save a few quid!

As for the dentist, how ridiculous having them all done on the same day as if it's some kind of rule. If a horse has a problem is it supposed to wait until October regardless? And what about oldies? We tend to have ours checked twice a year.

There will always be someone who thinks they know everything and likes to judge other people, but as long as your horse is obviously healthy and happy then it's none of their business what you do. If you want to shut them up you can always say it's what you've agreed with the owner and that's the end of it.

There is a train of thought that you shouldn't feed this season's hay until January - somewhere on Horse & Hound forum there are some threads on it. As long as it's dust free (soak it if you think it's a bit dusty) it will be fine. You do what suits you and your horse and ignore the rest.

If you need to feed hay now then last year's hay is probably best. we've still got about 30 bales of last years to get through (probably until December) before we have the new delivery to see us through the Winter.

As regards dentists do your own thing. Some people like to use people who are just dentists and others use their own vets if they have the relevant dental training. We've recently changed from the former to the latter and are happy with our choice as our vet does them and checks them over at the same time. We only have ours done once a year but would do it more regularly if we thought there were issues. We definitely like them to use electric rasps rather than hand rasps though - seem to do a better job and quicker..

Of course you can always wet or soak the hay if you're not happy with it being a little dusty. One of our ponies gets it wetted with the hose as he coughs a little but the others are OK on it dry. The benefit of leaving it dry is that you can just top up the net but with wet you have to change it every day.

I'm still on last years hay too - won't be using this years till gone Christmas . If her teeth need doing , then does it really matter who does them ?

Ignore her , she's just trying to rattle you . Most yards tend to have someone like her . I just used to smile and wave, and do exactly as I was going to do anyway .

The funny thing is she doesnt have a horse there or ride anyones horse she just comes to hang out. She used to ride a horse there but it died ages ago now, think she likes to keep her hand in and offer "advice".

Oh Tallulah that's even worse - a yard 'spectator and commentator'. Ignore, ignore, ignore. And enjoy your new horse

Thanks everyone. Will ignore and just smile and carry on. If I have any doubts that I am not doing something correctly I will consult the mums-netters :)

I'd be complaining about someone who isn't even a livery/customer hanging about the yard and sticking her beak in. The bloody cheek of it!

Yes come to think of it, it used to be a big no-no to feed 'new' hay! I'd forgotten about that as we are always using up the old stuff anyway and don't buy a new supply too early as we don't have enough storage.

We use the vet too, have never had a 'dentist' and have never had any problems either.

Ignore and smile is a good plan. I have noticed that anyone new coming into a livery yard always gets watched initially to see if they know what they are doing or not. Once people have got to know you, hopefully things will improve. In the mean time, have faith in your knowledge, and if you aren't sure, ask someone you trust. Enjoy your new horse!

This is why I love my livery yard, its far dearer than anywhere else locally, but has great facilities so attracts the working competitors.

ie those like me who have jobs, families, lives etc, and also compete to a reasonable level.. lots of medium plus dressage riders and eventers.

Everyone is too focused and too short of time to give a hoot about anyone elses hay or other such things.

ps.. I'm still feeding last year's hay.

Oh you poor love. I remember when I got my first horse, saying "thanks for the advice" then smiling and doing exactly what I intended to do in the first place. Just ignore them. You don't have to take any advice you don't ask for. To be honest i run my entire life including work this way . You will soon make friends and once they realise you are not a pushover the unasked for stuff will drop away. NB We are feeding this years hay, but it's made on our farm, and so is the same stuff they've been eating all summer. It doesn't seem to do them any harm.

No problem with last years cut if it's in good nick as others have said. I was forced to move from my sub-let small yard when the girl who sub-let/ran it gave it up. So I moved up on to the main yard and it has actually been quite nice despite my fears as I'd got to know a few of them already from hacking with them. It's nice doing shared lessons and having people who compete in different disciplines to go to shows with or ask advice from as we do a bit of everything.

However I ride out with a variety of people so as not to get in to any 'cliques' rather than just having one or two hacking buddies and although I chat to everyone I avoid getting in to any bitchy conversations and I don't say anything that I wouldn't be happy to say to someone face to face. We have a good yard owner who wouldn't keep any trouble makers but invariably having so many people in a yard you will always get the odd problem. As love beans said above just smile and nod your head at any uninvited criticism/advice and do things how you want. Good luck; ex polo ponies are ace I'm sure you'll have fun and make some friends!