Bucked off friend's horse, now awkward sitch...

[TropicalHorse]

Hi Tackroomers!
I have recently returned to riding after my baby and was fortunate to be given the (free) ride on a lovely but known-to-be-unpredictable gelding belonging to friends. The horse and I got on very well, and I egotistically thought that my more relaxed style of riding suited him better than his usual rider and began entering some competitions, however, at the first one we attended he bucked me off resulting in a fractured vertebra for me and banishment to the back paddock for him. At the time I suggested they have a vet out to the horse to check for a physical cause of the bucking, but their response was that the horse was just "odd" and had this unpredictable streak and has always been like that. (Several years ago I was watching the friend's husband riding the horse and pointed out a subtle unevenness in his hind legs which I noticed on and off after that, but they were unwilling to have it investigated, who knows why!?)
This all happened several months ago and now my friends are trying to sell the horse with no luck - it's a very small horsey community here and probably most people know that the horse is not safe (they probably knew it before I started riding him too.) There hasn't really been any big falling out over the situation but I've heard from a third party that my 'friends' have started to make some sarcastic remarks behind my back about me 'ruining the horse's reputation' and making him 'unsellable'. It makes it all very awkward as we are on our riding club committee together and used to see each other a fair bit but lately there has been noticeable cooling off - probably since they put the horse on the market.

I tried to screw up my courage to confront them about it all but they are the local 'power couple' of the horse world and I don't mind anonymously telling you MNers that I find them pretty intimidating! I think they'd probably bluster and claim I was making it all up anyway.
Does anyone have any calming advice for me? I just feel like my lovely supportive horsey community is ruined and that they will never forgive me for THEIR horse bucking me off!! (It was seriously not my fault and if I could have clung on I would have!)
Thanks, everyone.

I should think the rest of this community are a bit about this power couple trying to palm the unpredictable horse off onto one of them. They probably have sympathy for you but can't voice it if this couple are so influential.

They are lucky that you aren't suing them!

Ok, lesson number one learnt then, don't over horse yourself (we've all done it) stepping back from the situation, the horse was sharp anyway which would have made it difficult to sell unless it was talented, if something is physically wrong with it then as you suggest it's unlikely to pass a vetting. With or without a public rodeo this would be a difficult horse to sell unless offered cheap and they know it, you are just a convenient scape goat. Secondly anyone who gets on a horse risks coming off, they agreed to let you ride it, can't complain about spilt milk. So how to handle it, we'll they obviously aren't very good friends, I'd probably just ignore them and their comments and carry on hopefully it will blow over. If anyone says anything direct to you I would point out that your fall was unfortunate and these things happen but if they are concerned about the horses reputation you wonder why have they put it out to grass rather than compete it themselves or find another rider?? Anyone worth their salt will smell the rat. I feel for you horsey cliques are awful for this sort of thing.

anyone who gets on a horse risks coming off

Exactly.

You don't say what exactly you were doing when bucked off (dressage? jumping?) but loads of horses who've bucked their way around all sorts of competitions have turned out good in the end. (Probably not if they're simply banished to a back paddock , though!)

To people who actually know anything about horses, your competition experience won't be a big factor. And if you're actually a crap rider, buyers with any knowledge will know this too, so again, you won't be a 'factor' in this horse's non-saleability on that basis. There's no way that your being chucked off this horse will have any real effect in the grand scheme of things.

But it's a buyers' market right now. So your 'friends' are no doubt frustrated.

BY the way, though, it's perfectly possible for a horse with very significant physical problems to pass a 2 stage vetting.

It's also massively expensive and quite complicated to get horses checked for the sort of problems that this one might have. And then there's more cash and complexity in getting problems treated.

Your 'friends' may wish that you'd not been out and about on this horse because his bronc-ing fit demonstrated the possibility of a serious underlying problem, but no sane person would see that as your fault. They'll get over themselves in time - they'll have to!

What futureponyclubmum said. I would also say nothing, unless it was said to me or to someone in my hearing range. I would not talk the horse down, but if asked say it was just one of those things. You willingly took on the ride on an unpredictable horse, and knowingly took him to a higher risk situation (ie competition.) It is difficult to say from your description whether you took him for a quiet look-see and he found it a bit much, or whether you took him and were out to win but maybe pushed things too far. From the info we have it is not possible to tell whether you did make an error of judgement in your riding of this horse or if he is, frankly, a nut job.

Having once owned a nice horse who's reputation was temporarily dragged through mud by a livery yard owner who handled him poorly and in the process ended up with a broken bone, I can tell you it is not a nice place to be. But if the horse is a nutter, I still would just be keeping out of this situation. Most horsey people know a mad horse when they see one. Unfortunately a lot of horsey people are also rabid gossips! Regardless of how this situation started, I can guarantee that out there, there will be someone saying 'that horse of xyz's - not long ago it broke a rider's back and now they are trying to sell it!' Regardless of who's fault it is, I am sure you can see why the owners might be annoyed. It is just one of those unfortunate things - and if anyone asks you, that's just what I would say.

I'm a bit confused as to why your friends are limiting themselves to your local 'small' horse community. The horse world is huge and people will travel from as far as france or germany to buy horses that they are interested in. Common sense would dictate they broaden their horizons when it comes to advertising this horse if they want to beat local knowledge about his behaviour.

I wouldn't confront them, but if anyone asks, I would be honest. they are not friends, they were just using you.....don't lie for them, but also don't try and diagnose as your not qualified. I would say something along the lines of - he's lovely, but has an unpredictable side that has never really gotten to the bottom of, they weren't interested in investigating, so tats where is was left...."

they sound like bullies.