Buy another horse or continue lessons?

[Greyhorses]

Hi everyone!

Sorry this will be long!

Looking for opinions as to whether a new horse is a good idea...in other words someone put me off! :-)

I have owned and ridden all of my life so I'm not new however roughly 7 years ago I bought a horse which was completley unsuitable. I persevered with him until 2 years ago in which he injured me badly and I sold him to a very experienced rider who loves him to bits. With hindsight I should never have bought him and he crushed my confidence.
Since selling him I have been petrified of riding. I have not been near a horse in over a year and the thought of riding would make me panic.

A few months ago I started lessons with a push from my OH (who was sick of my moping!) and my step mother also came with me as she used to ride and owned a horse before children. I am absolutely loving it. I feel more confident than I have in years and I'm starting to want to ride all the time again. For the first time in 5 years I'm not terrified!

My step mother would really like to get a horse to share and I am considering it in 6 months or so if I am still enjoying it as much however I'm not sure whether i should just stick to riding!
We both work opposite shifts (ie, her nights while I do days or long shifts) and we would spilt the cost 50:50. I have shared a horse before so I'm not worried about this as I do work a lot of weekends and we shared riding duties with my last horse so I don't forsee arguments. Also we are on the same wavelength horsey wise, and have different riding interests- I like showing while her hacking.
We would keep the horse at the riding school livery (which is actually cheaper than lessons!)

I am just worried if I get my own horse again my confidence will be taken away and I will regret it
I do enjoy the horseless freedom but I miss the mornings and even mucking out! I also miss being able to do what I want when I want.

Can anyone see the flaws in my plan?
I don't want to jump into anything but I feel obsessed with horsey ads at the moment!!

Get the right horse.... However long it takes just make sure it's the right horse.

So yes I'd do it providing you're looking for the same type of horse but I'd allow myself as long as it takes to get the right horse.

Finding the right horse is key here. Better to go with a horse you feel you may outgrow than one that would be a challenge, because trying to master the challenge may affect your confidence at this stage. Waiting a little bit is also a good idea but I'd avoid buying just before the winter - always best to get a new horse in the spring, when it can live out 24/7 on no hard feed and with loads of opportunities to be ridden.

Also do you have an instructor you trust who can come with you to viewings? Having someone on the ground who knows your abilities and can assess the horse without an emotional involvement is invaluable.

I appreciate you are considering buying/sharing with a family member but it may nonetheless be a good idea to get a sharing contract written out (the BHS has a sample one you can adapt). It will make you think about various possibilities and how you might want to approach them which may save your misunderstandings and arguments later.

Sorry just wanted to add, you can overcome the effect of an unsuitable horse. My first ever horse, the one I waited all my life for, was an unmitigated disaster and seriously dented my confidence. The second horse I got was as perfect as could be and restored my confidence to the point where I could compete and do a lot more than I had ever done before. Finding the right horse is crucial in the same way that getting the wrong horse is a disaster.

I agree with pp, spend as much time as you need to look for a suitable horse. Take an instructor with you to viewings and see the horse as many times as you need. A genuine seller won't mind (in fact they should be pleased!).

If you find the right horse and the seller won't give you a loan (I didn't when I sold mine) ask if you can have a 30 day buy back period instead. This means that if you decided the horse is not suitable you can ask the sellers to take it back, I did this because if the horse got damaged when he was with her she could just give it back and I'd have a broken horse I couldn't sell, however we agreed that if she decided to send him back I could have him vetted at the same level she got him vetted at.

This worked well for both me & the buyer, it instilled confidence in her that I wasn't trying to rip her off and that I would have the horse back in the same condition I sold him in.

Sorry that's long but buying a horse can be a minefield! Good luck with whatever you decide

Thank you everyone!! I am going for another lesson this weekend so I'm just going to keep thinking about it! I really miss having my own horse but I'm just worried with working full time if it is possible, but then again if I have my stepmother maybe it will take the pressure off?!

I have been looking and can't seem to find anything that would be suitable for less than 6-7k!
I would need 15.2hh chunky safe cob type but with ability to so some local showing/riding club... However they seem to be like gold dust!

Unfortunately that is what most people want and if the horse is genuinely safe and fun I think owners are clued up and ask for a decent price. The good horses are still selling for good prices. I'd be weary of a horse that claims to be all that and is priced significantly less than 6k, unless you are willing to compromise on age (older rather than younger seems a sensible compromise).

Nope - go for it! Just get the right horse for you ;-D It will make you deliriously happy!!

And yes you'll have to Pay for it, but probably only 4k rather than 6-7

Fingers crossed, find the right horse and it will work out

Thank you everyone again!

I am still in two minds. I have seen a lovely little Connie pony I like the look of however I still haven't viewed as I am worried about going it alone and getting into the same situation as before...however if I don't do it now when will I?
He seems sweet, he is forward but safe. Seller says he hacks well etc but I have not yet looked at him. He is £2.5k without tack.

The options I have are to have another 6 months of lessons and buy in about January when horses are cheaper or just bite the bullet and go for it. I am confident in the riding school and am used to riding many different horses, it was just my own that terrified me! I was happy to ride any other but him which is strange?
What worries me is that I will know nobody at the yard. I am incredibly shy and hate meeting new people. I get anxiety about what people may think of me and I don't want people to think I have over horsed myself again.

I am also debating it more as I am moving house in September (hopefully as mortgage is available from then) and it may be more sensible to wait until I've moved. However, i don't want to wait and then another obstacle is thrown at me etc and then before I know it it's been 5 years and I am still waiting.

I don't think my instructor would come with me as the pony is quite a trek away but I have an experienced friend to take.

You can see how I've not made a decision, I am so indecisive!