come and talk me out of this. or not.

[ThatVikRinA22]

hi all - not been posting in here much as i had a bit of a sabbatical from lessons and the yard while i was waiting for surgery.
ive had it now and am just recovering.
so now im thinking about getting back to it....the only thing was that if you recall i was very "stuck" and not making progress at all because my instructor would not let me off the lunge or hack out. She is a stickler for doing things properly and little things like my toes not being in or heels down were holding me back.

the break has done me good but ive still got the horsey bug. A friend has just bought a horse from a very reputable dealer close to us (something to do with the famous whittakers i think....very good reputation, they sell very good quality sports horses as well as happy hackers)

she sent me the link to the horse she bought and i had a browse at the other horses and ponies for sale.
one really caught my eye because she looked perfect for me. She is a perfect size, age, type, (14.2, 5yrs, cob, beautiful, with lovely paces, likes to jump, lots of potential)
she is a great price and one that i can afford. now. i would need to buy tack/rugs/grooming kit.
DH and i have talked and he agrees that being around horses makes me so happy he is fine with me getting my own, but im just not sure about the ongoing costs and if i can comfortably manage them right now. In 18 months time i will have an extra £230 per month....

ive text my instructor to ask if i can pin her down to giving me some figures for livery.....what it would include, etc. Every time ive asked its been something different so ive asked for a firm figure. She will only entertain part livery, though in theory this pony could live out....she has also talked to me about working livery - im torn on that issue - on the one hand it would make it cheaper and exercise my pony when im on weird shifts....but on the other i wouldnt have control of who was riding her. That said instructor is such a stickler i know she wouldnt allow any bad handling.

can someone give me an idea of what everything costs that i would need to fund on an ongoing basis? if my instructor can do part livery then hay and straw would be included.
so....that leaves
hard feed
shoes
farrier
teeth
vets/insurance
anything else?

and this is the biggie. im not a good rider. the best i can say is that i can stay on! i understand the principles, but to get better i need the practice and when just taking lessons i wasnt getting that practice. If i get my own i can just play about and learn by trial and error without feeling under so much pressure.
having livery at instructors yard would give me confidence that someone who knows their stuff would be on hand. She is very very good, an excellent rider, knows all there is to know about horses and their care.
but her lessons werent teaching me anything practically about riding because i never really got off the ground (so to speak)
i need the practice.
dh doesnt want me to do it for 18 months to ensure the extra money is there....this is why i want costings and advice, this horse looks perfect and if i could just manage for 18 months then id be home and dry.....

so. with all this in mind....

talk me out of it.
(or into it)

:)

Well you will have the extra money and your dh is supportive so that's half the battle!
I would say that I think a five year old would be too young for you with your current experience. I know there are lots of lovely saintly five year olds out there but there are also a lot of them who suddenly decide to go through a teenage rebellion at about that age. Dhorse certainly did. I'm not a brilliant rider but my saving grace is that I'm very secure in the saddle and I have had experience of tricky ponies so I was able to nip things in the bud before he turned into a total thug. I don't feel you would be able to do that so I'd go for something a little older to be on the safe side.

Tbh if you're not good enough to hack out WITH an instructor you're not good enough to buy a 5 year old.

But hold on to the dream and set yourself a time goal.

Having read your stories from the start I think it's a good idea to buy your own horse. However I don't think you should think about a young that is too young (ie 5) and it should have plenty of miles on the clock - doing things you want to do/achieve.

I'm sorry if I've said this before but I beg you to go and have a couple of lessons with somebody else. I'd love to know what they have to say. Some of the things you say about your instructor being a stickler and not letting you off the lunge for not having your toes in etc is just bizarre. It's not about perfection - it's about learning through experience and you're not getting any.

I'd agree with the others a 5 year old is a bit dubious for your level of experience. I am told my lovely schoolmaster went through a teenage phase of bucking people off when he was 5. I'd stick with the idea of eventually getting your own, but seriously consider loaning or sharing first until you've had a chance to see how you get on with managing your own horse. It is a lot to take on, and while it is lovely if it goes well, can be a complete nightmare if it goes wrong.

can i show you her? she seems so solid.....i would obviously go and see her and take instructor with me.

butkin thats the issue.

I remember some people suggested going on a riding holiday. I still think you should do that. You will get a chance to ride over different terrain and get more of a feel of how it is to be in charge of a horse in the great wide world rather than an arena. I think you should do something like that before you jump in and buy your own. Otherwise I foresee you getting a horse, staying at the same yard and still taking lessons from your instructor who will never let you do anything. If you want to keep your own horse at that yard I really really think you should broaden your horizons a bit first. Butkin's idea of having some lessons somewhere else would be a good start.

here

from there you can see her video.

ive not got in touch with the dealer or seen her.

ok thanks folks.

i cant afford a riding holiday. so thats out for now. DH would get peed off if i did that and had to forfeit the family holiday.

ill keep looking to see if there are any other schools in my locality but when i have googled nothing has come up. (well - 1 did but the reason i found it is because they were fined for not having a licence....so not great....)

i just had visions of having my own and doing my own thing and learning as i go.

my dh will thank you all anyway! x

Yes to buying a horse, it's your dream go for it
No to a five year old from a dealer.however nice they are and however solid she seems, she is a teenager and will need firm boundaries which you will struggle to give as a novice with first pony. Dealers have probably not had her long, probably from Ireland, so don't know her inside out.
find a nice outgrown family pony, at least ten and enjoy every minute of it :)

Aw no, don't give up so easily! A lot can happen in 18 months! We aren't saying don't do it, just giving you some things to think about first.

I remember your thread. In all my years of riding, I've never heard of such a ridiculous teaching system. Good grief, taught my first boyfriend to ride in three months and he was hunting on Boxing Day, almost exactly 3 months from when I first taught him. He learned on my intermediate eventer, who was still competing at the time, so I focused on a) gentle hands and b) light seat. The rest just kind of... Happens. And then you go blasting about and learn to adjust the detail later.

What your instructor is inflicting on you is what I might go along for to brush up in my presentation before a big competition (bad habits form when riding alone!). You don't need a tip top mega talented rider/trainer teaching you. You need a good, solid riding school instructor who has her bhs exams and is experienced in teaching total beginners through to mid level experience. Then get yourself a nice 9-15 year old ID cross or a lighter cob AND HAVE SOME FUN!

I hate to say this, but after years in the horse industry - they see moderately wealthy novices like you as a money machine. They can spin you a line and tell you that you need this, that or the other and because of their reputation, you will go along with it. I'm not saying she isn't a great rider or advanced trainer, but the fact that she won't give you a definite livery price rings alarm bells!

Even after all my years in working in the industry, I myself have been caught out twice by people I really, really trusted - one a former employer, the other my trainer and (I thought) friend - mainly because at the time I had a healthy wedge of cash saved up to buy a competition horse.

Keep posting here op and good luck!

am with Butkin and everyone else advising you to try some other yards and experience the range of approaches on offer out there - your instructor sounds weird (lots of horsey people are though aren't they? )

very exciting to hear that you are looking for your own horse though :) you need to be somewhere that allows you to learn while offering assistance should you need it (or of course you could get a sharer to help with the finances and general labour of it all?)

Tessi looks gorgeous, I can see why you like her. That video doesn't really show much though, she does some basic stuff in a school with what I assume is an experienced rider (if it's a dealer's yard) and that's it. No traffic or other horses or anything really to show how she reacts.
I had to smile at the beginning when she was walking round, she had the same expression dhorse has when he's sneakily trying to get his tongue over the bit .

Good to see you back.

5 is very young

cheers all - i knew you would keep me right.

thinking cap time. x

I really don't mean to sound rude, but I think you need to think about getting another instructor. From reading your post she/he seems to be holding you back quite a lot, you need to have come off the lunge now I would think.

My husband had never ridden in his life and he only went on the lunge to learn to canter, yes keeping your toes in is important(ish) but there are more important things to learn.

There will be DIY yards round you - try livery list online, it might help.

Good luck

Vicar here's one that's a bit older......

www.horsequest.co.uk/search.aspx?minh=14&maxh=15&minp=900&maxp=2000&ht=15&mina=&maxa=&at=18&s=&r=34&ds=1&c=3&sc=5&ld=&rn=

and another:
www.horsemart.co.uk/cobs-horse-8-yrs-14-2-hh-piebald-west-yorkshire/Horses/314643

and another (from same place I think)
www.horsemart.co.uk/cobs-horse-7-yrs-14-2-hh-piebald-west-yorkshire/Horses/315391

I'm not suggesting that these are necessarily ones you should look at, but more to show that there are similar types out there in your price range which may be more suitable.

Is there anywhere else you could go for a lesson with a different instructor who can give you a new perspective on where you are skill wise? Some times a fresh eye can be really helpful.

Don't give up on the idea, just don't rush!

Glad to see you back, have a look(with your eyes open) If it is any help I'm backing off a bit.

I also think 5 is too young for a beginner. Apart from the riding, what stable management knowledge do you have? This is important for an owner. You need to be able to spot a very slight lameness, or other health problems, know how feed can affect behaviour, etc etc.There's much to know and non-riding skills to gain. Can you apply a poultice, bandage a leg, worm a horse, restrain a fidgeting horse for a vet?
In the nicest possible way , you do sound quite inexperienced. If your funds dry up, would you know what to do doing day livery?
If you have time why not spend a while helping out for free at a decent riding school. You would probably get free lessons.

Vicar - roughly what part of the country are you - perhaps someone could suggest somewhere you might be able to try out?

I had years of lessons - but probably learned more riding a pony from the village (where I had to stay on-board as he shied 3m to the right or left with no warning at the gallop 5miles from home), or a friend's horse (who was napping with her but stopped doing it with me and really enjoyed his rides)

I went on a fantastic riding holiday when I was 14... I've just checked and they still do treks out (2hrs at a price less than an hours lesson where I live).

completely agree with butkin about your instructor

in fact my dd used to learn from someone like this and it ended up ruining dds confidence as she was constantly being told she wasnt good enough to start jumping (dd was 9 - we left instructor, bought dd a pony and did it our way, she was hunting at 11)

PLEASE find someone else

Also I must say if you are not confident to hack out then please dont buy a 5 year old as when they are 6 they can suddenly start to be a bit naughty

An old ploddy schoolmaster on loan would be perfect

dh is learning at the minute

ok he is never goign to win an equitation prize but his instructor makes it fun for him

Ehhn - you are absolutely spot on about the money machine

When we tried to extract dd from this instructor she told us that dd was no where near good enough to get her own pony, that she would fall off, that she just wasn't ready - was all bollocks, yes dd did fall off but you know what? she was fine and she learnt so much in a year. I wish we'd left the instructor sooner - friends kept telling us to but we didnt listen!

She liked the £20 a week I think.

vicar could you find a share?

also (sorry keep reading thread) ehhn YES about the alarm bells over no definite livery price

god she sounds like the woman we had

get out while you still can