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The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

How can I help her overcome her nerves?

3 replies

twiglet59 · 06/10/2013 07:23

My DD is horsey mad. She is 12 now and has been riding for a few years now. We tried a few riding schools until we found the right one. It is a good school and her riding skills have developed more since she has been there, but her nerves hold her back all the time. Sometimes you can see her shaking she is so nervous, but me and DH realise how brave she is because she still carries on. Anyway she has got up to a level where she can canter. She kept asking us if she could loan a horse and I wasn't sure, but DH thought it would be good for her to be around them and learn more about the care of them. So last weekend we went out to see this horse and the owner. They were both lovely and we arranged to go again this weekend. The owner said that she could meet us there, but she didn't turn up (I know that is not part of a loan agreement) so completely understood her not coming. We went with her, me feeling a bit apprehensive as I am confident around horses anymore, but my DH seemed ok. He went into the field with DD and the horse started playing up for him and he didn't feel in control so we decided to put him back in the field. We both said she is not ready for this. Of course she was so upset and saying she would never be any good with horses. I hate to see her like this because she loves them so much. I phoned the owner and explained. She was very understanding and worried about DD and said that as we had paid for a month she would like to take DD there at weekends for a month (hopefully she won't let her down). We have said she can have a riding lesson every week now. She was having them two weekly. Any tips?

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 06/10/2013 07:42

Can she help at the riding school or do an "own a pony day"? Or is there anyone who has a horse?
I think the owner helping would be good, she needs to be comfortable handling horses on the ground
There's a fantastic confidence course but its a little expensive... How about a riding simulator lesson as a Christmas present? Then she can work on her position/confidence

Gilbertus · 06/10/2013 09:23

If you or your husband know nothing then I wouldn't recommend loaning a pony on this basis. Some of the riding schools round here loan out ponies but they stay at the school. It's quite expensive but a brilliant way to start.

Fwiw dd1 was nervous, and gentle exposure to things she was nervous about helped enormously. Quiet, easy ponies are essential at this stage.

catalogoferrors · 17/10/2013 19:34

In this situation I would say a 'loan' within the riding school is the best option.

unless you live in near me and want to come and play with my DD's pony!

We have had 2 tiny ponies since DD was 5. She has dyspraxia and her balance was dreadful, she really only wanted to walk and prettify her mare - i was really disappointed as I had ridden all my life.

We, like you, tried lots of riding schools - they would push her and she would become petrified and teary. She started weekly lessons at 11 (sept 2 years ago), one teacher was good but another petrified her. she was too scared of making a mistake to try cantering, other girls were 'promoted' to higher classes but she stayed in beginners.

Earlier this year I found myself a teacher as i needed some reminders, I'd bought a new horse that was too mad sharp for me (he is now out on loan, he wasnt ready to retire from being a ODE). I sent my DD to her, as her teaching style was gentle - within two lessons DD was jumping! At this time also I bought a bombproof ex riding school cob (for a pittance, from some travellers) who is the gentlest animal ever - the combination of regaining her faith in herself through constructive teaching and having a pony that she trusted 100% means that within a few months she is jumping 2' (he is only 14hh) and cantering aroung bareback.

I suppose, in a rather longwinded way, I am saying finding the right loan pony and teacher for your DD may take time but dont lose heart - the right pony will teach her more than any person can. DD now rides my stubbon Hafflinger (and sits his bucks!) and takes out a much younger novice on her Cob. Good luck

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