demanding job/horse/baby

[feekerry]

Please tell me how you manage!! I am really struggling atm.
Dd is 9 months. I have just returned to work 4 full days a week 8am til 6pm. Only see her for 40 mins if i al lucky when i get in. Horse is on diy but i have some help but.finding it really hard to make things work. Please tell me how/what you do!!

I'm not a horse owner - but a horse sharer. Might this work for you?

Every sympathy, it's so hard to juggle everything even without a horse and I think this time if year is especially hard.

There are plenty of sharers like me around (I think!) who are keen, reliable, responsible and kind - I treat my share pony as I would my own for that one day a week, I pay a good but not unreasonable sum of money and I hope/think the owner is happy knowing that her pony gets a great hack out and lots of fuss when she can't ride out after work - she lunges him or works in the school on other weekdays.

(By the way if anyone has read my other thread it wasn't my share pony I fell off today - he would never go that fast and it'd be much less far to fall!!)

We put all of our horses on full livery when I had my first child and I only went back to work part time . We still used to go everyday to see them all and at the start had them at 2 different yards for their differing requirements , we also had a Shetland that we kept on DIY , but my mum did him some days .

Agreed, I'm pretty sure one of the reasons my pony needed a sharer was to help the owner out with part livery costs!

Forgot to say be kind to yourself, you have a lot on your plate.

I think hatcam's idea is a good one, or full or working livery. I found couldn't manage when I went back to work. My loan horse had to go back. I've recently got another horse on loan now DS is older and going to school. I know people do manage in your situation, but I think you have to be almost superhuman to do it!

To be honest it doesn't sound do-able. You need time to recover from everything you do, plus time to enjoy your DD.

Can you afford to put the horse on full livery? Or find a sharer? Or let the horse have some time off in the winter and be on grass livery?

I've been wondering this too. Was thinking I might have to move her closer to home. Hoping work will let me work 7-3 4 days a week. Otherwise not sure what I'll do!!

I find it tough and I only work 2 days! DC's are 2 and 3 so they can come to the yard but its stressful keeping them safe and managing to do all the chores.
I hate that the money I spend on my mare means the kids miss out on holidays etc. Added to that I rarely spend any 'proper time' with the horse and only ride about once a fortnight.
My mare is nearly 25 so I could never sell her and I wouldn't loan her.
The awful thing is I actually find myself thinking, given her age, it would be easier if she was no longer with me.
I hate that I think that, I've had her for 20 years, my horse of a lifetime and obviously I'll be completely gutted when she goes. But the amount of stress having a horse now adds to my life is huge.
If you have the option of selling or loaning for a while, in your position I'd consider it. The last thing you want is to regret not spending time with your DD, and ending up resenting your horse.

Well I haven't even started my mat leave yet, so who knows! But when I do go back to work, my plan is to ride before work, husband will look after baby. Husband drops baby to nursery before work, I pick her up after work and have eve with her. Horse will be on full livery. At weekends, husband and baby will come to my events. I don't think DIY is an option. What if your baby is ill and you just can't do the horse?

snowpo don't feel guilty about having hose thoughts , at one point I was spending over £1000 a month just on livery for my 3 without the shoes , rugs and extras . Mine were also elderly and we never sell anything as to us they are like the family pet ( hence the 19 yr old Dartmoor that is still on full livery now) ,although we were devastated when they died it was in a way a bit of a relief . My DC are now older and I only work 10 hours a week but I still can't imagine commiting to a horse again its difficult enough finding time to walk the dog! Hence the pony being on full livery , when she dies my sister and I may consider a horse to share but on a full livery basis .

Thank you Flora, its horrible to admit! I have two others aswell, one on loan thank god and the other recup field livery. I'm just the same, can't bear to sell them, I'd love to get a wee pony for the kids but that won't be happening for a long time!

Our Dartmoor was bought for my DS when they were both 6 ( our Shetland had died ) , I think he stopped riding her when they were 7 and she's been pretty much living a life of luxury since . Neither of my children are interested in riding ,although my DD (13) does use her as a photographic topic sometimes. She's now just an expensive pet .