I can't have a horse at the moment, can I?

[FannyPriceless]

Honest opinions please!

I have had horses all my life on and off since a small child. My last one I sold when pg 4 years ago.

My circumstances at the moment: Work full time, 2 pre-school kids in full time nursery. We leave the house each day at 7:45 am and return at 6:30 pm, then it's bath time bed time chaos, eat dinner, do the minimum house work to keep us ticking over (dishwasher, washing), fall into bed and start again the next day. This is the same schedule for DH too, by the way - we work at the same place and he easily does at least 50/50 around the house and with the kids.

Could I possibly have a horse given this schedule? It feels really frustrating that I can't. We live in a village. There's a field available to rent across the lane. There's a livery yard 1.5 miles from our house. I even know of a horse available for summer loan.

But... I am under no illusions about the time required to keep a horse. I can't afford full livery any more. I worry about the responsibility, and cannot see how I could tend to a horse at all on weekdays.

DH would love me to have a horse again, and would be really supportive. He even suggested it when we were on holiday and I rode a friend's horse several times (and hung around the stables like a 10 year old!). But I can't see how it would work as at the moment our priorities are 1. family, 2. work, 3. everything else.

Not possible, is it? Tell me what you think, please.

I wish I could say go for it, but it doesn't seem very sensible at the moment. HOWEVER, how about a share? Ask around the local livery yards someone may need help and you can negotiate the hours between you. I've had three lovely people come share my DP's cob and it worked out really well each time.

Yes, I am thinking about a share. But the sort of people who need a sharer are very unlikely to need someone who can only do weekends! Or am I wrong?

You could be wrong! Not everyone works 9-5. The first horse we had on part-loan we only had at the weekends, because that was when the owner was at work in a hospital, so it is possible. Also, last summer I loaned my horse out at the weekends because I was able to ride during the week when my dcs were in school, but wanted to do 'family' things at the weekend (dd and dh not horsey in slightest).

Oooo... interesting!

You've got nothing to lose by asking!

I was gonna say you must be mad re the time element but the most important things is that you DO have the full backing of DH and that is crucial if you decide to take on a share horse and do it at weekends. Even if the owner of share horse wanted to compete some weekends very few people turn down a help / groom.

def would not advise taking on own horse at this stage. I waited till me DC all at school before taking that big step ! The time element when you are working f / ...........well many epole who have their own horse before dC on scnen do struggle and do share / loan or even sel ..... or turn horse away for year or tw0 !

good luck if you go for a share ..... I was lucky enough to find several over the years .

I would love to share! I have two kids and work p/time. I would not want to ride at the weekend and leave DH with kids but would be able to in the week when kids at school/nursery.

Sharing would definitely be your best bet. When I had horses and did a share I'd want the sharer to ideally ride once or twice during the week and once at the weekends. I would ride the other 3-4 days a week and therefore it cut down on my full livery bills (as well as the sharer paying me). Same as when I shared someone else's horse - I rode it a couple of times during the week, once at weekends and would do some competitions too.

Pop down to your local livery yard(s) and ask...there's bound to be someone who needs help both with exercise and financially.

and not just livery yards ..... I rent a v.small yard with a friend and i past searched for sharer for my daughters horse when she grew uo and moved on. I did not want to sell horse but did not have time for two really.
Tack shops and places like farmer supplies shop might be a good place to put up notices.

I have sharers who can sometimes only come at weekends or once a week or so - it's the ££££ burden I want to share, not the work so I can imagine there would be other owners out there who would welcome that arrangement.

And riding schools often do part loan schemes where it would probably be in your favour, not wanting to ride every day. Good luck!

I have had a chat to DH, with a view to looking for a share situation via livery yards, local saddlers, etc. Very excited!

He asked me what I think the time requirement would be if I did find a suitable weekend share. I said about 2 hours per day including riding. What do you think? (I am a very slow mucker-outer, by the way!)

Also any general advice about seeking a share situation would be helpful. I have only been on the other side of the fence on this - I had a sharer while at university, and was frankly taken advantage of when I look back on it now. Ah well, older, wiser now.

We were talking about shares in the other place, I believe someone has a good contract.

Find a livery yard which doesn't "shut" - mine is 24/7 - so if it's 10pm by the time you get there I don't find the owner in his dressing gown aiming a 9-bore at me.

Ooo thanks Alpine, I will chase that up right now.

You sound as though you would relish the prospect of the owner / dressing gown / 9-bore scenario!

Fanny, I found it took 3 hrs for an hour's ride on my share horse - this included a 15-20 minute drive each way, walking from yard to field to get pony, grooming, riding, feeding, pony back to field. No mucking out. But it really depends on how (and where!) your horse is kept.

hhhmmm 2 hours .......my hacks alone can take that long

in seriousness....... if you were " only " turning up to get an easy catch horse , quick groom , tack up and ride then maaaaaaaaybe 2 hours.

Me, I love to hang around for wee while just enjoying horse and / or humans company !

It entirely depends on the yard set-up and the time of the year. In the winter it can take two hours to travel to the yard, bring in through the mud and groom it all off! Very dispiriting! In the summer everything is easier!

The other thing in the winter is that you need to ride either first thing in the morning or right after they come in in the afternoon, otherwise the horses don't get any time out in the field.

"horses always take longer than you think"

that is a Law

"horses always thake longer than you think"

You see, this is why I think I can't have a horse! Clearly weekend share is the only approach I can take at the moment. Though I may need to renegotiate with DH regarding the time required.

FP I've whittered on on t'other place quite a bit, and feel I could whitter a bit more here. As with all things when you have kids, time management is crucial. I can go out to my yard and have my 2 horses mucked out, feeds made and hayed in less than 20 minutes when I have to, and that time includes sorting out my chickens too (the number of chickens I have is getting a bit out of control!) I have hacks marked out that take me 20 mins, 30 mins, 40 mins, etc. I am the queen of the brisk trot when limited for time. If I only had an hour, I could do all my stable jobs and ride one, lead one to get both exercised, and then chuck them out in the field.

OTOH, I have chairs outside the stable doors so I can just sit there sometimes. Last week I had a ride with Clucky, her horse is undergoing rehabilitation for injury and can only be ridden at a walk for an hour max. So I hacked down to her, walked with her for an hour and then hacked home - it took a couple of hours. And then I gave the boys a really good mucking out, and swept the yard nicely, and hung the hosepipe up properly - all excuses for just hanging about a bit longer.

I still think you would be better off looking for a horse where you could have a leisurely weekend hack on one weekend day, and then going down and having a 30min session in the school after kids are in bed during the week. You are more likely to be able to find something if you can do even just one evening during the week. I'm sure you would find other people at livery yards after 7pm.

That's a good suggestion, boxy. I was going to reply 'Yeah, only in the summer' but then I realised that the yard down the road has a floodlit school! So yes, I'll make sure that when I design my highly attractive begging notice I don't say 'weekends only'.

You are welcome to whitter away any time you like. I particularly like the way you clearly believe I am capable of getting my kids in bed asleep by 7pm.

Isn't 7pm when their father takes over? It is in our house!

BTW Clucky often gets her horse out of bed at silly times of night just to ride her in the school a bit. Also see if you can't find a child-friendly place - DD is a lazy creature now, but DS loves to 'help!' Wouldn't you DH love it if you were able to take the kids to the yard too sometimes, get them out from under his feet?

Fwiw, I think DIY can sometimes be a false economy. Not sure what livery is like where you are (obviously it depends where in the country you are!), but for me it's 260 a month and all I need to do is turn up and ride.

Once you've factored in petrol, delivery issues, storage (food & bedding) - or, if you buy from the yard paying extortionate prices, paying someone else when you go on holiday blah-di-blah-di-blah - you save fuck all. Oh... and work out your hourly rate.

I might be able to save 70 a month DIY... but then spend 45 hours a week doing basic work (mucking-out type stuff, poo-picking) - hmmmn, would I work for 1.50 an hour?

Unless like boxy you've got a shitload of facilities at home and someone you can trust to take over when you go away, I wouldn't bother.

45 a month obv. 45 a week would mean I'd line up individual blades of straw so they all pointed north.